What is separation in marriage? And what are the top reasons for separation in marriage after some years?
First, you should understand that separation in marriage is not the same as divorce. Separation is when married couples choose to live separately from each other, even though they are not legally divorced.
People normally see separation in marriage as a sign of divorce or the last relationship repairing moves, but it’s not in any way a divorce.
Some marriages became stronger after separation, though not always, but that shows separation in marriage can’t be classified as divorce.
Howbeit, there are some instances, where separation is used as a transition for couples to legally divorce.
There are different reasons each couple may have to separate, but there are the top reasons for separation in marriage. They are:
Top Reasons For Separation In Marriage.
1) Money Issues:-
One of the reasons for separation in marriage is financial issues: either there is no money, enough of it, or a different financial saving or spending attitude.
A survey conducted many months ago proved that many adults with partners who are going through separation or divorce now are all because of finance.
Both couples may agree to spend lavishly during their wedding but will argue about money when it comes to other daily expenses.
Another reason why money issue is the number one reason for separation in marriage is when your spouse has a very different viewpoint about personal finance in particular and money in general.
For example, you will not feel good if you are good at savings, while your partner spends lavishly. That alone can cause a big problem in your marriage.
The way out of this is to have a financial plan before you come together as a spouse, so you will be on the same financial page before the wedding.
Another important thing that causes separation in marriage is infidelity (cheating). You and I know that trust is important in every relationship.
Cheating is one of the greatest trust killers and once the trust disappears, resentment begins until the love dies.
It is so because having an affair is a great betrayal and it shows your partner that someone else is better than he or she is. Of cause, many marriages have become stronger after cheating, but it is never an easy task.
One of the ways to avoid cheating is to completely say no to it. To deal with cheating, you have to forgive your partner and find a solution to that.
3) No Good Communication:-
Communication is another important requirement for marital success. Good communication in a relationship is what keeps the couple together and makes them respect each other.
In a relationship where couples communicate well, there is always peace and understanding, because the couple has enough time to track and deal with their differences immediately.
If your relationship lacks good conversation where you talk about your joys, pain, and frustration and trash it out at once, then it is heading to a great fall.
Most couples don’t have much time to talk to each other because they spend more time with their phone and other gadgets than they do with their partners.
4) When There Is Any Form Of Abuse:-
Number 4 on my list of reasons for separation in marriage is abuse, whether physical or emotional. The truth is that when there’s any pattern of domestic abuse at all in a relationship, there is certainly going to be a separation
There are other types of abuse we forget easily that have destroyed many families, and that’s financial abuse. This type of abuse is very common in relationships.
If you are good at yelling, withholding money when not necessary, neglecting, constant anger, and making irrelevant comments, then you are on your way to destroying your marriage.
To curb this, you have to stop any form of abuse in your relationship; whether it’s targeted against your spouse, children, or any other person in your family, let it stop.
See a marriage counselor if possible or you can find a way to leave the marriage if the abuse persists.
5) There Is No Compatibility:-
Lack of compatibility in marriage is also one of the reasons for separation in marriage, and people neglect that so much.
When you are married to someone you are not compatible with, there will always be issues.
Incompatibility is when you or your partner is taking any position that is exclusive to the other person.
For example, when you always want something that your partner hates. One thing that makes incompatibility hard to deal with in any relationship is that it leads to competition among couples.
Each person will always believe they are right and will argue whenever there is a little issue. To deal with incompatibility in marriage, you have to be accommodating, and always learn to compromise, to let peace reign in your marriage.
You can’t talk about the reasons for separation in marriage without mentioning addiction. Whether it is a drug, alcohol, or another type of addiction, they are detrimental to any relationship.
Addiction of any type can cause a ripple effect in any relationship which you may find hard to understand, and it begins with affecting the behaviors in the family.
It will cause much tension in the home, before influencing negative behaviors. Being married to an addict is a complicated and lonely journey, and it kills a marriage slowly.
In 2013, National Center for Biotechnology Information questioned about 52 people about their reason for separating from their marriage, and all of them mentioned addiction.
This happens more when the addict refused to be helped or become a threat to his/her partner’s safety.
To avoid the addiction from causing separation in your marriage, you’ll have to quit it faster or see an addiction expert to tell you what to do next.
7) Lack Of Commitment:-
Lack of commitment is also among the top reasons for separation in marriage. Although the word commitment can sound very scary to so many people but it is important in any relationship.
Commitment simply means sharing all your life with someone. It also means a choice to give up all other choices just to make your marriage work.
When you are committed to your marriage you have promised to be there always and to work it through not just today, but always and forever.
Commitment is very important in any relationship, as it keeps you and your partner faithful in your marriage all the time. And as time goes on, it will also strengthen your marriage.
Meanwhile, when commitment wanes over time in a relationship, it will negatively affect your marriage.
Commitment in marriage works better when both of you are on the same page. Lack of commitment can lead to infidelity, and your marriage will be opened up to other temptations when you are not committed.
Therefore, to make your marriage work effectively, you and your partner must put more effort into your relationship.
8) Lack Of Intimacy:-
There can be a lack of physical intimacy in a relationship, even when you and your partner love yourselves so much. Most times, couples find it hard to restore the lost passion.
Physical intimacy is very important in any relationship and is among the top 8 reasons for separation in marriage.
According to experts, physical intimacy or affection like kissing, hugging, and touching each other often helps pretty much in creating a bond between couples, just the same way communication does.
That’s why many couples struggle when they sense the absence of physical intimacy in their marriage.
For your relationship to survive, you need intimacy, but when intimacy and affection are absent. There will be no bond again and the connection will be broken too.
If you are unable to establish that connection between you and your partner back after some time, you won’t enjoy a lasting marriage, so strive hard to get it back.
9) Getting Married Unprepared:-
Finally on my list of top reasons for separation in marriage is why you are married without preparation.
The question is; what makes one ready for marriage? The answer is that you must be mature and understand fully what marriage is all about.
Understand that marriage is not easy, and it is not for babies either. Most broken marriages are because of either early marriage or lack of preparation.
So if you are considering marriage now, take some time to know what marriage is and how to have a successful marriage. It will be better if you attend seminars, and workshops, read books and place CDs.
You can as well have pre-marriage counseling. All these are to get yourself equipped for the task ahead.
Many things can cause separation in marriage, but you can save your marriage from them if you know them and avoid them from the beginning.
In this post, I share 9 of those reasons for separation in marriage so you can avoid them completely. If it has already caused problems in your marriage, then consider seeing a marriage counselor before taking any action.