You never wanted to separate from your spouse, but it happened anyway, and now you are heartbroken. Now you are praying and hoping that things will change so you can come back together as a spouse again.
If that is what you are waiting for then I will show you 13 signs of reconciliation after separation that you will be on the lookout for to know when your partner is ready for you.
The question is
Is Reconciliation Possible After Separation?
Is reconciliation possible after separation? The answer is yes. According to a family therapist Dr. Michael DeMarco, separated couples can come back together again, however, how it will unfold will vary, depending on the nature of the separation.
And frankly, there have been stories of divorced couples who got back together after some time and became stronger. So yours can happen too.
First, it takes a process to get your relationship back after separation.
These 8 steps are important to restore your relationship, before looking for signs of reconciliation after separation.
- Find Out The Reasons For The Separation:- What caused the separation in the first place? Are you the cause or your partner? When you find out the reasons for separating from your partner, then it will be easy for you to deal with. If you are the cause, then get ready to talk it over with your spouse. Ask for forgiveness and decide to drop all of the characters that caused it. That’s when you will hope to get positive answers from your partner.
- Take Things slowly: This is not the time to rush. You have to take it slowly; give your partner some time to rummage about all you have said and consider the next line of action. It won’t be nice to force your partner to make the decision fast and then regret the action later. The quick patch won’t last forever, so take it one step at a time.
- Choose To Drop Your Anger:- When you have started the steps to reconcile with your partner, and couldn’t see the signs of reconciliation after separation on time, you are likely going to be angry. But anger is not the best thing at this point. It will add flames to the fire, and cause resentment and hostility. Your best bet is to give up the anger and be hopeful for a good result. Try to share your hurts and anger constructively so your partner will see the reasons to reconcile with you.
- Be honest At This Point:- Be sure you are 100% ready to reconcile, not because your friends asked you to or you have another motive for that. If you are sure you want to get your marriage back after separation, then be ready to invest everything possible to make it work.
- Get Help From Marriage Therapist:- Another way to try reconciliation with your partner is to seek help from a marriage therapist. Mental health professionals know how to make failed relationships and marriages work again. They are trained for that and they are there for you whenever you reach out to them.
13 Seriously Proven Signs Of Reconciliation After Separation.
1) When You Have Dealt With The Root Course Of The Matter:–
Reconciliation can not just happen. You’ll have to work for it before expecting to see signs of reconciliation after separation. One of the ways to work for reconciliation is by being sure that the root cause of the matter has been dealt with.
For example, if it was infidelity, lies, or financial issues that caused the matter, make sure you have dealt with the financial issues by reducing your spending habits and starting to save more.
If it’s cheating issues, make sure you have apologized when you are the cause or forgive your partner if they are the reason and then make amends.
Deal with the matters first and be ready to compromise when you know that you want your marriage back again.
It may not be an easy task for you, but it is worth doing when you want to have everything under control as a couple
2) Your Spouse Accepted And Asked you For Time To Think About It:-
Well, you have tried to reconcile and everything worked out fine. Your partner has accepted but asked for a little time to think about it; that’s the best time to expect these signs of reconciliation after separation.
From this point, your partner may start relaxing in most of their repelling attitudes and communication may come back also. Although it will not be imminent you will see some changes in the ways he/she talks to you lately.
3) You Have Forgiven Too:-
Reconciliation steps must be taken by you and your spouse before it will be successful. If your spouse is the cause of the separation and he/she felt sorry about the action and asked for forgiveness, you must be ready to forgive and forget.
That is the only way amendments can happen. The causes of the fight may be something that is not easily forgotten, but you saw a genuine repentance from your partner after that.
Be ready to say “I have forgiven you” so things can move on from there.
4) Your Social Media Followings Are Back:-
One of the things you found out at the beginning of the separation is that your partner stopped following or making comments on your social media handles.
That can be heartbreaking, especially when you don’t want the separation in the first place.
When your partner decides to unfollow you on any social media, it simply shows they don’t want you again or want to have anything to do with you again.
It may also mean another way he/she intends to punish you for your mistakes. That may also be his/her way of dealing with confusing emotions regarding the separation.
However, recently you found out that they are back and following your social media handles again. That’s one of the big signs of reconciliation after separation.
5) You Or Your Partner Started Being Jealous Again:-
One of the popular relationship writers Clifford N. Lazarus Ph.D. said that jealousy occurs when someone believes that someone else or something is a threat to a valued relationship.
Therefore, if suddenly after separation your ex starts enquiring about your recent relationship, partner, and new love life, that isn’t normal.
He/she wouldn’t bother if there is no emotional attachment. So when they start questioning you or showing signs of displeasure when they see you with the opposite sex, that’s one of the signs of reconciliation after separation.
6) You Are Curious About Each Other:-
Well, being curious about you or you are curious about your partner may not be a sign of reconciliation. She could be checking on you as a friend.
But, if you keep being curious about what you eat, where you are at a time, where you are going; and you are getting some “relationship Y- vibes” from that, it could be one of the signs of reconciliation after separation.
Shlomo Zalman Bregman, a Matchmaker says “If your ex starts saying “sup” at 2 am, or they are asking about you, your career, and your family. It shows that the future is promising.”
He/she is looking for an opportunity to tell you that they still care. Wait for it.
7) You Can See Some Changes Yourself:-
Before you decided to part ways with each other, you realized that your partner’s behavior, attitudes, and conduct were not suitable for you and not good for your relationship as well.
Now those things have changed. You are sure that your partner has dropped smoking, become more open to communication, lost weight, and changed her hairstyle.
This may not be any sign, but when they give attention to you, or he/she always wants to be with you. That’s when it will be seen as one of the signs of reconciliation after separation.
Simply put, when your partner quits his or her irregular behaviors or attitudes and seeks that you notice the changes. That’s purely a red sign.
8) They Reach Out To You Often:-
In some cases, your partner will always reach out to you for one thing or the other. Reaching out once is not enough to show you he/she wants to come back.
If it persists, then that’s a red flag of recommendation. Imagine your spouse calling you because he was promoted in the office, she wants you to help her get some beverages. Or seeking advice from you
That means he/she can still want the relationship. My advice is that you don’t rush it. Allow them to come out clearly before you conclude on what they want.
9. Sincere And Open Communications:
One of the signs of reconciliation after separation is that there will be open and honest communication between you too.
This indicates that you and your partner are very willing to listen and understand each other’s perspective, express your feelings openly, and then work to resolve your conflicts.
It also includes being empathetic, supportive, and respectful which creates an atmosphere of trust and understanding.
Reconciliation may be indicated when both of you start making an effort towards rebuilding your relationships, showing genuine remorse and openly working on the chief cause of the separation in the first place.
10. Efforts to Rebuild Trust:
Trust might have been broken during the separation. If you and your partner are making conscious efforts to rebuild trust through actions and transparency, it’s a positive sign.
Though it may take a lot of time to rebuild the trust, the fact that both of you are actively working on, it shows a brighter path toward reconciliation.
11. Shared Future Plans:
If you find yourself separated from your spouse, but you still have time to spend quality time together, and engage in shared activities, that is a clear infection of a genuine effort to to rebuild emotional connection.
It is also a positive sign that both of you are willing to work on your relationship and advance towards reconciliation. Understanding and patience are key during this process.
12. Supporting You During Challenges:
Supporting your spouse or him supporting you during separation is one of the glaring signs of reconciliation after separation. It means a deep emotional connection and commitment to your relationship.
It also indicates that both of you are willing to bridge the gap and work through your challenges together. This mutual support will not only strengthen your bond but will also create the atmosphere for healing and rebuilding your relationship. That also shows a genuine effort to reconcile and move forward.
13. Apologizing And Forgiveness:
Apologizing and forgiveness are also one of the most significant signs of reconciliation after separation.
Apologizing involves acknowledging one’s mistakes, taking responsibility, and expressing genuine remorse. A sincere apology shows that both of recognize the pain you’ve caused and are willing to make amends.
It opens the door for communication and rebuilding trust, crucial elements for any relationship to heal.
Forgiveness, on the other hand, is a powerful act of letting go of resentment and anger. It doesn’t mean condoning the hurtful actions, but rather, it releases the victim from the burden of carrying that negativity.
Forgiving allows for emotional healing, enabling you to move forward without the weight of past grievances. It’s a liberating experience that promotes inner peace and well-being.
In the context of reconciliation after separation, genuine apologies create a safe space for open dialogue. They pave the way for understanding each other’s perspectives and rebuilding the emotional connection.
When forgiveness is granted, it signifies a willingness to move beyond the pain and work towards a positive future together or individually.
Ultimately, both apologizing and forgiveness are essential for personal growth and the possibility of re-establishing relationships.
They require empathy, humility, and a genuine desire for resolution. Embracing these qualities can lead to healing, closure, and the opportunity for a fresh start after separation.
How Long Does It Take To Reconcile After Separation?
The amount of time it takes for couples to reconcile after separation varies widely, and it depends on the people who are involved, what caused the separation, and the efforts they put into rebuilding the relationship.
If the cause of the separation was due to a temporary issue like misunderstanding or stress, then it may be easy to settle.
For instance, the separation happened because of job relocation, which will end immediately after the relocation ends and the couple can reunite again.
However, if you are separated because of deeper issues like trust or compatibility, it may take you some years to reconcile. You may need to undergo therapy, counseling, or self-reflection to come out of these complex emotions
Going through these will prolong the process. You will need to communicate openly and address underlying problems and you should be willing to make necessary changes for your reconciliation to be successful.
It is possible to reconcile with your partner after separation, but not easy. There are simple steps you will take to make it happen. After taking the steps I described here you will be ready to see things becoming normal again.
At this point, you will be able to see some signs of reconciliation after separation and then you will know you have finally succeeded in getting your marriage back on track.