If you are looking for a way to help your separation anxiety spouse then I have good news for you. In this post, I will show you some actionable steps to take to bring your spouse out of that situation.
What Is Separation Anxiety?
We always think of a child’s mental disorder that usually happens when the child fears being abandoned when we hear about separation anxiety disorder. That’s part of it.
This happens when a mother leaves her baby in the care of someone else for a very long time and for the first time too
But the truth is that separation anxiety is also common in romantic relationships, and at least now we also have separation anxiety spouse (s).
Separation anxiety in a relationship can be seen as a kind of disorder felt by an adult in a relationship when he/she is separated from the spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend.
So if you are in a romantic relationship and you noticed that your spouse is always distressed when you are not with him/her, or always afraid of being separated from you, that’s a sign of separation anxiety disorder and he or she can be classified as a separation anxiety spouse.
The Separation Anxiety Symptoms:-
Some of the many signs and symptoms will clearly show you that your partner is having a serious separation anxiety attack. Below are a few of them.
- They are unnecessarily afraid and uneasy when they travel alone without you.
- When he/she finds it pretty hard to sleep alone.
- They are always afraid something bad can happen to you while they are not close to them.
- When he/she is extremely jealous.
- When he/she is afraid you may get killed, injured, involved in an accident, or any other thing that results from separation.
Separation Anxiety Spouse: 9 Ways You Can Help Now.
1) Tackle The Anxiety Symptoms First:-
Your first step in helping your separation anxiety spouse come out of the disorder is to deal with the symptoms of the disorder first. The question is: how do you deal with the symptoms of anxiety disorder?
You and I know how consuming anxiety disorder can be, therefore, it will be best for us to find time to talk to our separation anxiety spouse about the problems at hand.
Try daily to talk to your spouse about the negative effects of anxiety on our daily lives – like the stress it causes and the sleeplessness that follows.
According to the president and CEO of the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation in New York, Jeffery Borenstein, it is important to be diplomatic as you are talking about the effects of anxiety on human lives.
Borenstein reiterated that addressing the issues with simple words like stress instead of anxiety disorder can help in solving the issues. People are comfortable with that more than the latter.
2) Be Patient And Understanding:-
As you are trying to let your spouse know the effects of being anxious about anything, you are likely going to be frustrated when they are not understanding you.
But wait a minute! You are being too fast in your approach to helping your separation anxiety spouse. The fact is that he/she doesn’t understand what is happening and why they are being anxious.
Secondly, no anxiety disorder person understands how to come out of the condition they are in. This is the reason to take things slowly and easily with them.
3) Make Your Spouse Know That Anxiety Can Only Be Managed And Not Cured:-
Note that all the anxiety disorder patience see anxiety as the real enemy which is not. According to the experts, the main enemy of anxiety disorder is not the anxiety itself but avoidance.
The experts said that most anxiety disorder patience will start avoiding people, events, and relationships and this cause them to be depressed.
The anxiety disorder therapist advised that it will be better if the victim remains active in their social life, as that shows they need just a few therapy sessions to get better.
4) Help Them Get Treated:-
Another way you can help your separation anxiety spouse get over their predicament is to take them to any anxiety disorder specialist for treatment.
It may not be easy to convince them to see a therapist, but keep encouraging them, and one day they will accept to go with you.
The best you can do for your spouse when seeking to take them to a therapist is to make suggestions for good therapists and not book an appointment for him/ her.
Be sure to let your separation anxiety spouse about all your plans for the treatment because that will help him/ her a lot. Let them know exactly how the treatment will go, so they get ready for that on time.
Also, remember that you are expected to be present too during the therapy sessions. Sandy Capaldi, Psy.D, an Assistant Professor of Clinical Psychiatry said that she always loves to have both the anxious spouse and the partner around during the therapy.
She also advises that you don’t ever have to try using the words of the therapists at home on your partner as it will cause more harm than good. Just allow the professional to do what they know best.
5) Have Time For Yourself:-
See, life is too short to keep worrying about your separation anxiety spouse and forget about you.
Therefore you must cultivate relationships and lifestyles that will keep you strong and free from stress while trying to help your spouse.
Try to maintain your mental health. Exercise yourself, hang out with friends, visit five-star hotels and enjoy yourself, if possible, make friends with any therapist you can run to any time you are overwhelmed.
Allowing the anxious partner have alone time is another good cure for the disorder; because they may have one or two people that can make them forget their predicament for some time.
6) Please Take It Slowly, Don’t Rush:-
You will be frustrated to be with a separation anxiety spouse because their character will be repulsive to you. If care is not taking you you find yourself trying to make them dance to your tone.
But that will worsen the matter instead of making things better. But, Cury Newman advised that you should be diminished by those attitudes and comments from your partner.
Just remember that what your partner is going through is the reason for the behavior. Remain resolute and focus on your goals to help your spouse come out of the anxiety.
Be positive and mind the words you use on him/her at a particular time. Use the affirmative and encouraging word. More importantly, remain positive until the situation is under control.
7) Get Your Boundaries Right:-
As you are trying to help your spouse, you must set your boundaries too. Your Boundaries will comprise all you intend to do as well as what you won’t do as you are helping out.
These boundaries will help you protect your emotional and physical needs in your relationship.
It all depends on you, however, make sure that all your boundaries will not make things worse but better.
8) Always Plan Something Interesting Whenever You See Each Other:-
This may sound ludicrous, but that’s one of my favorite steps to dealing with a separation anxiety spouse. The trick is to make any of your reunions memorable.
Make sure any of your reunions call for celebration. That means instead of being obsessed about your time apart, plan something interesting for the reunion.
You can prepare lunch for them too, and take them to a special place that will help them recover fast. If you know what your spouse like, get them as reunion gifts for her.
9) Keep Trying And Don’t Give Up:-
If you want to help your spouse get better, you must be focused. Many things will want to discourage you, so when you give up soon your spouse won’t get better
So be resilient, and focused, and keep doing all you need to do to help by the grace of God your better half will get better.
I hope you have learned how you can help your separation anxiety spouse. If not read the post again to know how.
Remember that your partner doesn’t know what they are going through, therefore you should be diplomatic about how you help to avoid complications.
Your best step should be to take them to a therapist. The therapist knows what to do to help.
Now that you know what to do, which of the steps will you take first? Use the comment box to reply.
I am your in-house counselor Murphyaik.
See you at the top.