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Tagged: separation

marital issues, divorce

7 Marital Issues That can Cause Separation

marital issues, divorce

Every marriage has its own unique marital issues, there’s absolutely no relationship without one. Sometimes marriage becomes stronger after going through one issue or the other and sometimes there’s a disconnection, separation or divorce even when there’s a little issue.

Most times, it is not the problems that brought about the divorce , but inability of the couples to recognize the issues and handle it properly.

However, while some marital issues are not that big enough to cause divorce , some are too great that the couples involved may not see the reasons to overlook it and move on as couple.

In this post, I want share with you some of those marital issues that can cause separation or divorce, so you can avoid it completely in your marriage.

 

If you are ready to know, then let’s dive    

  7 Marita Issues That can Cause Divorce

 

1) Infidelity: – Cheating is one of the marital problems that could cause divorce in marriage.

Cheating can be described as having extramarital affair with someone that’s not your partner. Think about it when you realize that your partner is sleeping with another person, and you know you are faithful to him or her: you will feel betrayed, and from that moment your spirit will be down and hatred sets in.

 

People give so many reasons why they cheat, reasons like, emotional distance, poverty, lack of sex etc,

However, no matter what reason you give, none of them is cogent enough to make you cheat.

 

 Ruth Houston a cheating expert says that “Extramarital affair usually start like emotional affair which later becomes physical affair.”

 

Ask any cheater, and he will tell you that it started as a mere friendship.

 

My advice to you is to be careful how you relate with the opposite sex to avoid things that could bring separation in your relationship.

 

2) Lack of sex: – If you have not been having sex at all with your partner, or you are not having enough, then you may be welcoming trouble in your marriage.

 

Lack of sex, may cause one of the partners to seek satisfaction outside, and you know what that mean.

The remedy is to work on your libido so as to improve your sex life.

 

 

3) You are not prepared for marriage: – Marriage is coming together of two different people from sometimes different backgrounds or different ethnic groups.

Because of the differences, a lot of issues may arise and if you are not prepared for it, it could cause problems for you.

 

Before you decide to get married, you need to understand what it is actually all about at least know the basics.

 

4) Lack of communication: – Communication is vital in marriage and inability to communicate rightly can cause resentment and disconnect, and all these leads to separation.

 

However, good communication brings good relationship between husband and wife.

If you are used to shouting, yelling or even making nasty then you are causing great harm to your family.

 

To avoid it, you have to improve your communication skills and talk more with your partner on daily basis.

 

5) Unrealistic expectations: – This is another marriage killer. It’s all about requiring much more than your partner could offer.

 

Expecting your partner to be, go or do whatever you want can cause so much stress to them and too much pain for you, especially when they are not meeting up with your expectations.

 

6) Old habits: – Everyone has his or her own unique habit and also carry it into their relationship.

 

At the beginning of the relationship, most of the habit may be enveloped by love: as the time goes, these habit starts manifesting and your partner may accept some of them and some may be unbearable.

Be able to tell your partner what character you don’t like, maybe they can drop it so your relationship can move on.

 

7) Money matter: – Money is very essential in marriage and it’s also one of the main causes of problems in marriage.

Couple fights about money more than they fight about sex and other things. In fact it hinders marriage and can cause so much stress to couples.

In marriage, couples fight about lack of money, spending habits as well as too much money.

 

To avoid these troubled, you should mind how you spend, if possible, have a daily, weekly or monthly budget.

 

Finally, it’s important you understand that marriage is not all rosy. Even partners that has the best intentions sometimes find it hard to overcome their problems and therefore end up in courtrooms

 

. That’s the best reason you should address issues in your relationship on time.

Never wait until they are beyond fixing.

 

Learn to be kind, love your partner with all your heart and make intimacy a priority.

Visit marriage counselors (whether all is well or not) this will help you to preserve your relationship

 

Avoid anything that can bring rancor in your marriage.

 

divorce, marriage breaking

5 Lifestyles that kills a marriage fast

Lifestyles that kills a marriage

There are many lifestyles that kill a marriage, and I want to share them with you today.

 

One common question I get from my subscribers daily is “Why do marriages fail, even when the couples involved were living and were both happy in the beginning?

 

I asked those questions too, especially when it is obvious to me that the marriage has lasted 10- 20 years and above.

 

Driving from my personal experiences as a marriage instructor, I found out that no couple wants to be married and file for divorce the next moment, and no one of them is happy when they are finally separated.

 

But, here are some toxic relationship lifestyle couples usually get stocked on that has the capacity to destroy and relationship.

 

In this article, I’ll show you that toxic relationship lifestyle that kills a marriage so you’ll stay clear from them to retain happiness in your relationship.

 

If you are ready for this, then let’s dive in at once.

 

5 Toxic relationship lifestyles That Kill Marriage.

 

poor communication in marriage

 

1 Poor communication: –

From the latest survey, it was found out that one trick for stripping divorce /separation lies in how good and effectively you communicate with your spouse.

 

It was also found out that sixty-five % of divorce came from communication while forty-eight % comes from the inability to resolve conflicts.

 

John Gottman a professor and a marriage expert from Washington University after research identified. These four communication problems to be the main reasons for divorce.

 

Here they are

a Refusal to communicate at all ( stonewalling )

b “Criticizing of partners personality.

c Contempt

d Defensiveness.

 

All I want to pass across to you this moment is that communication is the bedrock of every successful relationship.

 

A friend of mine said, “if your partner stops talking, start worrying”.

 

Take a close look at your relationship now and see if all is well about your communication with your spouse, if not, then it’s time to get to work on it.

 

I have already written on how to communicate effectively, here is the link…..

Lifestyles that kills a marriage

 

2 Financial mistakes: –

When it comes to relationships, money is always a big threat. The tendency for separation goes high when a partner thinks the other is not spending money rightly.

 

A lot of studies conducted lately have shown that money is the number one reason most couples fight, quarrel or divorce.
My advice to you is to understand how much you earn as well as how much you have to spend.

 

Forget about going on an expensive vacation because your Neighbor did or buying costly jewelry for each. Remember you may not stand the stress that will come later as the debts start coming.

 

3 Comparing one another: –

I am a victim of this myself. I have found myself comparing my wife with other women.
Somehow it looked as if it is in our nature to compare. I said that because it is always so easy for us to compare careers, appearance, as well as our marriage.

 

But, that can destroy your marriage in a flash. It can suck the soul out of your relationship with your spouse because it only makes you constantly look for those things you don’t have instead of protecting what you already have.

happy marriage
When you compare your spouse, you are only telling your partner that the other person is better than he /she and also depriving yourself of the opportunity of building your personal appreciation for the beauty of your relationship.

 

In a nutshell, understand that comparing your spouse is not healthy. If you think something is missing, then try to make it happen.

Lifestyles that kills a marriage

 

4 Abuse:

The moment couples get stocked in abuse, their marriage is negatively affected.
Whether it’s verbal or emotional abuse, abuse still remains abuse and can destroy any relationship.

 

Abuse usually starts when one partner tries to control and dominate the other.

 

The plan of the abusive spouse is just to use fear, shame guilt and intimidation to beat and hold you down under his /her control.

 

If you are an abusive partner, it’s time quite because you are silently killing your marriage. Just show some respect and remember that your partner is a human being as well.

 

5 Expecting so much from your partner: –

You are still caught in believing that your spouse is an angel and not a human being, that’s why you think he /she can read your mind.

 

You expect way too much from him /her. You fail into the trap of desiring your wife/your husband to be and do more things as the year goes by.

 

 

Sometimes you expect him to play the role that can only be played by a friend, but all that can only take a big toll on your relationship.

 

I implore you to stop it this minute. Dr. Karin Anderson an associate professor of psychology at Concord University Chicago said: “It just hasn’t happened yet, unrealistic expectations can work against you and quest for love “.

 

He also said that anyone in that category may be sabotaging his love life without knowing it.
Stephanie Coontz in her own explanation said that higher expectations can lead to greater disappointments.

 

My opinion is that you start from this moment and look for those qualities of your marriage which you can’t see anywhere else and only concentrate on them.

 

Finally:-

If your relationship is of utmost importance to you, then you should try to remove all these I have mentioned in this post from your marriage.

 

It all depends on how fast you want your relationship to grow, but I implore you to keep keeping on even when all looks bad. Don’t relent, just keep nurturing, and keep your distance from all these lifestyles that kills a marriage.

 

I am still your friend murphyaik