How do I prepare for a separation?
It’s obvious you have fully made up your mind to separate from your spouse; you are not alone so many people have made that decision too.
My intention for writing this post is not to stop your decision, because only you know your reasons for your actions, but to show you how to prepare for separation in marriage to avoid regrets.
Preparing for separation is all about being sure that you have an amicable separation and that you know exactly what to do before filing for separation.
The truth is that without preparation, you may find yourself regretting your decisions in the future. The reason is that you can not predict how your partner will respond during the separation.
Another reason is that the court usually gives precedence to whatever prior arrangement you have made with your spouse before the separation.
Therefore, it is imperative you know how to prepare for separation in marriage before taking the first.
The good news is that I have selected some actionable things you can do now to be fully prepared for it.
ready for that D-day.
After reading this post you’ll know that you have fully made your marriage separation plans effectively.
Let’s dive in
How To Prepare For Separation In Marriage.
Step One Prepare Your Mind And Know The Ground Rules Of Separation:-
If your relationship has gotten to the height of planning to get a separation then it’s of no use asking you to prepare your mind for the changes that will happen in your marriage soon.
But if you love your partner so much, then this separation will be a rollercoaster for you.
That’s when you need to be fully prepared and the separation, and for the separation anxiety that will follow. I know that It won’t be that easy for you.
However, if you have resolved that separation is the remaining option for you and your spouse, then you have to know how to prepare yourself well to avoid what may come up against you in the future.
If you have never thought of having a ground rule in place before, I am here to tell you that it is important. That is what determines whether you get what you want after the separation.
Take time to decide from the onset who leaves in the house and who stays, who takes custody of the children and who doesn’t, and decide at once whether you will have contact with each other or not.
When All these things are in place, none of you will feel cheated at last.
How To Prepare For Separation In Marriage Step Two: – Understand Your Financial Position: –
If you are about to separate from your partner, one of the things you do is gather your financial information as well as your current financial position.
This is very important for you, especially when the money management was left in the hands of your spouse. You have to be sure of all that you had in your Treasury or the total number of assets you have to date.
See your lawyer for advice on what financial document to collate and what your spouse should bring too. Be sure you are clear about –
- What your savings, assets, property, etc are worth.
- The total amount of income you and your partner have.
- All it will cost you to live separately from each other and what it will cost to take care of the children if they are in your care.
- What does your partner owe and what do you owe?
- Your credit card, all your repayments, etc.
If you have access to some necessary documents, try and photocopy them and put them in a safe place till when your lawyer will make use of them.
How To Prepare For Separation In Marriage Step Three: Understand Your Legal Rights: –
One of the things that will make your separation faster and cheaper is that you know all your rights. Knowing your rights will be the game changer.
The reason is that your stress level will decline considerably when you are faced with any issues during the separation, and it will also make your communication with your partner easier.
When you know what your rights are, your legal cost will be less, and you won’t waste time thinking about how to prepare for separation in marriage.
The best of it all is that you won’t be afraid of being used or cheated on by your spouse, because you know 100% what you do at every point in time.
How To Prepare For Separation In Marriage Step Three: Never Think Of Hiding Any Money:-
You heard that right. That’s the worst decision you can take. But, why did I say so?
You see, many people who tried to hide something from their partner during the separation have their fingers badly burned.
The reason is that eventually there may be evidence that some properties were not disclosed or that some money was hidden.
Because of that, there may be an unfavorable judgment against you, like cutting down your share of the settlement, getting a forensic accountant expert against you, and so much more.
You wouldn’t want that, would you? So just be plain and open and allow things to unfold by themselves.
What You Must Do Before Separating From Your Spouse Step Four: Get Your Separation Agreement Ready: –
Even if you will miss all the other guidelines I have given you earlier, do not neglect this part. Having a separation agreement is more important than the separation itself, and here is why-
A Separation Agreement will keep you from regretting your separation decisions in the future.
Below are a few reasons why you need an agreement.
- It covers how your assets will be shared.
- How your debts and savings will be shared.
- Who stays with the children and who the other will visit and support the children?
- Sharing the asset and the properties you both owed.
- The school and medical fees of the children are also covered. Etc.
These are the reasons you must be ready with an agreement for your separation once you know that you have fully made up your mind to separate.
So whatever type of separation you wish to go through, do not forget the importance of a separation agreement.
How To Prepare For Separation In Marriage Step Five:Expect Anything From Your Estranged Partner:-
If you think that things will still be normal between you and your partner during the separation process, you may not be too right.
You and I know how hard it is to change someone’s behavior. Not that easy, especially when that person is not ready to change.
And if you have a high expectations for him/her, that’s when you will be greatly stressed when he/she is not measuring up to your expectations.
To effectively deal with that situation, you have to change yourself and your perception of your spouse.
Change yourself to become your best you. You will be surprised to see your spouse changing too. As they say “like attracts like.”
How To Prepare For Separation In Marriage Step Six:- Assemble All The Important Documents: –
This is another important tip you should hold firmly. Be sure to get all the documents that will be required in one place, including your marriage certificate, and your statement of accounts.
Also, get your Birth certificate, your medical details, and means of identification. Every other legal document should be kept handy to avoid forgetting the most important things for separation.
How To Prepare For Separation In Marriage Step Seven: See Your Lawyer:-
It amazes me how separating couples forget or neglect this step till things gets out of hand.
Look the biggest mistake you can make now is not to see a lawyer on time for advice before filing for separation.
A good family lawyer will give you guidance that can help you through the separation process.
You are sure to be on the safe side with all that advice your lawyer will give to you and all the myths about separation will be demystified for you.
How To Prepare For Separation In Marriage Step Eight:- Time To Talk To Your Children:-
You are not ready yet to separate from your spouse if you haven’t found time to time inform your children.
The first people that feel the effects of your separation are your children, your immediate family members, and your friends.
You have to know who to tell about this first. And you also have to know whether to tell them alone or with your spouse. If you are not sure how to break the news to your children, then let your spouse be involved.
But be sure they didn’t hear it from their friends or social media. Just take whatever steps necessary to make sure that your children are carried along.
How To Prepare For Separation In Marriage Step Nine:- Get Support:-
Your next step is to look for support. You will need people that will help you reduce the pain you are going through at this moment.
The counselors are there, and the support groups are there also. Feel free to look for how to meet your like minds.
The greatest advantage is that you can get quality counseling from qualified separation counselors near you.
There are also support groups for those that are going through a separation. Find them and understand how they handled theirs. You may be more relieved from emotional stresses after getting good help.
Now that you have understood how to prepare for separation in marriage, you won’t make mistakes again like others without these separation tips.
If you are hoping to reconcile with your spouse after a trial separation, then most of the tips in this post will help you achieve your goal.
That’s why you should not play with this post. It is exclusively written with you in my heart. To help you get ready for separation.