You will agree with me that if most couples had taken their time to attend Pre-marriage counseling, before hooking up, there will ever be troubles or separation.
Why did I say so?
Because at least those things which usually bring issues in marriage would have been properly taken care of during the marriage counseling sessions.
What is marriage counseling?:-
Marriage counseling is an advice/training provided generally by people who are trained in helping couples restore peace, and love into their marriages.
These people are addressed as marriage and family therapists.
Just like other therapists, marriage and family therapists also give the same health and mental services, however, their main focus is mainly on couples and their relationship.
Pre-marriage counseling will help in a great way to prepare couples properly for their marriage.
The couple who attended counseling learns how to be strong and firm when there’s set back and challenges in marriage which is obviously unavoidable.
It also helps you and your spouse enjoy a strong, healthy relationship.
Here are more reasons for Pre-Marriage counseling.
- Planning the future:-Pre marital therapist do not just help husband and wife walk through their current marital issues, they also help them set their plan for the future.
A Therapist also helps couples to get their finances right, by helping them set family planning as well as financial goals, and even help them accomplish those set goals.
So many couples started their family in debts probably because they had an exorbitant wedding which they really couldn’t finance.
During the premarital counseling, the counselor can help you set a budget for your wedding, and also help you discover the credibility of your would-be a partner as well as if they have any outstanding payments or pending serviceable loans and overdrafts.
- You’ll gain insight:- The real fact is that when two people are in love, they tend to overlook those important things that they ultimately have to face when married. Premarital counseling can shed light on these issues and help the couple solve them before it takes them by surprise.
- It helps to create effective communication skills
Communication is a vital part of every relationship. And effective communication is the most important aspect of it.
Any relationship that lacks good communication is bound to break. However, Seeing a marriage therapist before marriage can give you the opportunity to learn to communicate effectively with your partner.
You will also understand when to talk and when to listen during a conversation with your partner. After a long time in marriage, the couple starts taken themselves for granted, but when there’s an open conversation, confidence is restored and joy.
It’s the work of a therapist to teach the couples to be how to communicate properly.
- Learning Something New:-
During pre-marriage counseling sessions the would-be couples will be able to learn and talk about things that don’t even come up even in normal conversation with your partner.
The truth is we don’t find time to talk about our sex expectations, and “past hurtful experiences”, during our conversation with our partner. But counseling sessions pose the opportunities for you to talk it over before marriage.
- Prevents Divorce:-
One of the reasons for attending marriage counseling is to help prevent divorce. From Studies, it was found out that couples who attended counseling before hooking up are 30% unlikely to fight often than those who didn’t.
This helps to reduce the risk of divorce to the minimum.
Pre-marriage counseling is very important, however, you have to be careful to look for a good therapist to guide you right.
It’s imperative you search for a therapist you can trust very well and who specializes in your problems.
Some of them are not trained and so working with them will help to pole you and your partner apart, instead of bringing you together.
If you are not sure how to do that, then follow me closely now.
Here’s How to find a good pre-marriage counselor to work with.
To find a good counselor to work with, you really have to take your time to do the search. You don’t have to be in haste, otherwise, you’ll make a grave mistake.
One good way to go is by asking your families or friends:- A good way to start is having your friends or family to recommend the marriage counselor they know pretty well as qualified. However, if you are not comfortable asking people, here are other ways.
- Another way is to look for a licensed therapist.
You can do a search on reputable directories.
Search the internet for National marriage registration.
- C E E F T ( International Center of Excellence in emotional Focused Therapy).
Who is a Good happy Marriage Therapist?
A good family counselor is one who has a specific and special training about marriage. Many therapists claim to be professional in the things about marriage, and yet they know nothing about it.
Make sure the counselor has the correct credentials as well as authentic license or certification as stipulated by your local government and which also varies according to states.
Look for a counselor in your locality:-
There’s also a need to look for a good marriage counselor from around where you live, so it will be easy and convenient for you to visit anytime you choose.
The reason is that you’ll need to see him for a number of sessions, and coming from a distance can make you lose some of the seasons and that may ruin the outcome of their work.
However, you must understand that even the experienced and qualified marriage counselor may not solve your problems. To achieve your goals you may need to have an interview with him/her, so you could understand how this counselor plans to help you solve your problems.
How to Make the Most Out of Your pre-marriage Counseling Sessions.
You must accept that things are not going to be easy sometimes. Pre-marriage counseling takes time, you may need to schedule for more than one session to get the answers you need, and so to make the most out of your session, you should remember that the sessions are not just to “win”.
You and your partner to be should keep an open mind and also be willing to change that’s already deteriorating.
Don’t let anyone know about your sessions, make it private and never tell even your closest friends about it or relatives about it.
Keep your sessions completely don’t let even your mother or anyone know about it and don’t post on social media even, it can make matters worse.
Trust is very important when you want to improve your relationship.
Also, try to show your partner to be how happy you are that he/she accepted seeing the therapist with you.
Here are a few things a good counselor will try to help you achieve.
- Help to change abnormal behavior:-
A good couples therapists will strive to help the would-be couples change their ways they thinking and acting with each other.
He will also show them how not to engage in things that can cause physical harm both physically, psychologically and economically to them.
- Help you change your view as regards to your relationship: –A good marriage counselor will help both of you change your views about the relationship, and also help you see it in another way.
- He/she will help you know what to avoid that will destroy or help their relationship in the future.
To be on the safe side of marriage, it’s imperative you do everything you should get the best out of your marriage.
One of such things is to have a pre-marriage counseling before the wedding as that will help you understand what makes a marriage work or fail.
Knowing all these will give you a strong edge against whatever will come in the future to disrupt your relationship.