So you want to learn how to build trust in marriage? Then this post is for you. The presence of trust in any marriage is evidence that the marriage will be a happy one and will last very much longer. Once your marriage is depleted of its trust, then expect it to fail at any moment. Though you can build trust in marriage when it’s broken, yet it’s not good to break it in the first place.
Have you tried everything to make your marriage stronger the way it used to be and have not achieved your aim, then you must try building trust? It is the most fundamental way of bringing growth and happiness to any crumbling marriage.
Most marriages that crumble did so because they lack this fundamental thing called trust immediately trust starts lacking in any relationship, then the relationship is bound to tear apart in a matter of time.
These are some important ways to build trust in marriage which I will show you in this post.
Let’s dive in.
Ways to easily build trust in marriage
1) Learn To Always Be Honest.
And if you learn to have those difficult conversations in a loving, honest, and responsible way, your relationships can become better than you ever thought they could.Henry Cloud; John Townsend, How to Have That Difficult Conversation.
If you have not learned anything in life, try learning how to be honest. Being honest in your relationship means saying the truth always to your partner and being completely open to them.
The truth is that being honest is the foundation of trust and trust is so vital in every relationship. When your partner finds out that you are honest with them, they will always depend on everything you say.
Do not hide anything from your spouse. Always remember that one day those things that are hiding will be revealed.
Having secret brings destruction to trust, once your partner knows you hid something from him or her, it usually looks the same as lying to him also. People detest lies. My wife is number one of them.
One of the secrets she thought me that made my marriage become a powerful one is to say the truth at all times and in all things. Lies require another lie to cover up. That is why I think it’s better to devote more time to building your family than building secrets than lies.
2) Ask for forgiveness all the time.
Apologizing does not always mean you’re wrong and the other person is right. It just means you value your relationship more than your ego.Mark Matthews.
Whenever trust is broken in a relationship that means one of the people involved has gone astray. If you are the one, the most important thing you should do in other to gain the trust and confidence back is to ask for forgiveness. Let the request come from the innermost part of your heart.
Don’t see is a big task to repent of your wrongs and ask for forgiveness. Nancy Jergins told I MOM that “Asking for forgiveness requires you to humble yourself and to understand that receiving forgiveness from your husband is not a given.”
That simply means that it has to come from your heart. Again, you should mind your tone of voice when you are asking for forgiveness; because your tone will represent or misrepresent you.
For example, using words like “I am sorry if I offend you.” Sounds good, but when you analyze it, you will find that such an apology lacks responsibility and you can see the finger of blame present in it too.
Take a look at these words also- “I am sorry you understood it that way, ” I am sorry I said it that way.”
I am sorry you understood it that way shows that you are right, but your partner misunderstood it; while “I am sorry I said it that way” means “I said the right thing though in the wrong way. Using those words won’t speak well of your remorse.
It is better to say “I am sorry I did that, or I am sorry I said that to you. Your partner will see how sorry you are and forgive you.
3)’Never Promise Without fulfilling it.
Broken vows are just the same with broken mirrors. They will leave those who made them bleed and then end up staring at a fractured image of themselves.Anonymous.
Another way to build trust in marriage is to always be sincere with your words. “Let your yes be yes and your ” No” be no as well.
You made so many promises to your spouse and never fulfilled them. Your spouse asked you to help fix the light in the kitchen and you promised to do so, and yet you did not. You even promised to get some important things she needed for herself and yet for more than one month you refused to do it.
All these will affect the trust and the next day when you make a promise and know in your heart that you will fulfill it, your spouse will take it as one of those promises. Dependency is important if you want to build trust in marriage.
Note that when you don’t fulfill your promises to your spouse, the belief you don’t care. It also makes them feel unloved and unimportant to you.
To build trust in your marriage, start depositing into your “emotional bank account of trust.” Your spouse will trust you again and your self-esteem will improve too.
There is only one way to change the world; change yourself.Debasish Mridha.
When you breached trust in your marriage, then you must try and do those things that will make your spouse know that you have truly repented from the mistakes and have changed.
The first thing for you to do when you fall victim to distrust is to make plans to rebuild it. Consider the areas you failed in and promise never to fail again.
Tell your spouse to be on the lookout for you. Let him or her know he can hold you accountable by your promises to change, and start changing. Stop doing what you shouldn’t do and do the necessary things.
Be sincere to yourself about your change. Let it come from your inner man, and keep working on yourself. It will not come easily, but it will come one day.
6) Have A Conversation.
Communication is the lifeline of every relationshipElizabeth Bourgeret.
Communication is one of the instruments to build a successful relationship and so if you want to build trust in a marriage, then you must consider having a conversation with your spouse.
There is a tendency that you are not the reason your partner distrusted you; it could be related to his or her experiences. It could also be from you too. However, whether it is from you or another thing, it can be solved by talking about it.
That’s when you will tell how sorry you are and how you intend to stop offending them. Just go talk about the matters. Once you talk about it, the burden will be lifted a little bit, before it starts healing.
5) Don’t Ever Give Up:
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.Thomas Edison.
It is usually not a day job to build trust back whenever it is broken. Yeah, it is easy to destroy than to build. It will take time to believe that you are working on building trust. This is why you will never give up the fight even when it looks like things are not changing.
Stay there and keep trying. One day, you’ll look back and find out that you have succeeded in rebuilding trust.
It is easy to destroy than it is to build. Instead of breaking the trust in your relationship and looking for ways to build it again, because not to destroy it at all. However, if you have broken the trust, then this post is about how to build trust in marriage.
You will learn the step-by-step ways to build trust in marriage. Having in your mind that it won’t work in a day or one month time, but if you are dedicated, you will have answers.
Which of the steps will you try first? Which have you tried before that worked for you? Remember that sharing is caring. You could help someone by just sharing your experiences.
See you at the top. I am your in-house counselor, Murphyaik.