Children brings joy to couples and to families in particular, so much joy for that matter, but sometimes couples relationship is greatly affected, especially when the couples forget to do the needful things to remain stronger in love even as they raise their children.
Researchers, after conducting tests using couples with children and those without children said that ” relationship between couples suffers when a kid comes along”, and the decline in relationship also bring tremendous change to the overall happiness of the couple involved.
The reason is that : =)
Many couples forget to take care of their marriage, because they are pretty occupied with taking care of their children,
However, you must remember that you and your partner were there even before the children and so never forget the goose that lays the egg.
This post is all about showing you ways to remain stronger in love with your spouse as you take care of your children as well.
How to remain stronger in love as you train your children
1) Remember your feelings when you first met:–
At the early stages of your relationship you were so good to each other, so fond of one another and always want to be with each other at any time. You could not wait for the day to pass by without calling to know how he/she is fairing.
The only thing you ever wanted to hear were those sweet voices.
Now it is important you don’t let those feelings die.
Although there are lots of other things that are yearning for your time and attention at this moment, but always remember those feelings and keep holding on to it.
Keep pursuing him/her like before. Plan surprises and make it real.
2) Remain nice and loving in front of your children :-
Learn how to appreciate and praise each other in front of your children. Say thanks to your wife when she sets the dinner and tell your hubby how you appreciate him for coming home early to join you for breakfast.
Don’t be like the parents who are interested in buying the children over to their side.
All they do is to paint their spouses black in front of the children, and present themselves as the perfect partner.
Children learn very fast, and especially from their parents.
Your children will also learn to respect their father or mother from the way you respected him/her while they are there.
3) Set out time to share alone:–
Trust me, I know you are a very busy person.
Your daily activities – business, job, children, getting things from the food store are all craving for the little time you have, but you can still spare some time to spend together.
It is the most important way to keep the fire of love burning in your relationship.
Make the children understand it
Spending time alone with your spouse will make the children understand quickly that Daddy and mommy also needs to be alone.
In her book- Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps to More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents, Christine Carter, Ph.D. says ” We don’t need to worry that we are spending less time with the kidd’s than traditional parents did during that supposedly blissful era of the nuclear family”,
It is true that the children needs your care and attention, but you too desire to be alone most of the times.
Make it a priority
At least try to see your relationship with your spouse about as the most important thing in your life and let it more than what you feel for your children.
That was Harsh isn’t it? but am not saying you should forget your kids, but there are little things you should do to let the children as well as your partner understand that your relationship is also important to you.
Here is how to create that time together
a) Create an early bedtime :- Set a time for everyone to go to bed. They (children may not be forced to sleep, but they should be in their room during the set time.
That will create time for both of you.
b) Turn off:- Your gadgets, mobile phone should be kept aside when you are alone. The highest time taker in every marriage is our appliances. keep them aside and have a heart to heart chat together.
c) Cheap dates:- Having romantic dates is one of the ways to spice of our marriage, so plan having it often and remember, you don’t have to break a bank just to have a date with each other.
4) Communicate more:-
Communicate effectively with your partner. This is indispensable. It is the only thing that can keep the two of you rocking in love.
Talk about your feeling, your day, your sorrows and your joy.
Take time to cry if you feel like and offer your shoulder when needed. Remember, both of you will still be there when the children are grown and left the house.
5) Continue meeting each others needs:-
The truth is that there are lots of things to take care of now – The children’s school fees, the children’s need, and really there are not much resources to cater for your spouse anymore.
Taking care of your spouses needs should be a priority for you.
There’s always a craving in us that needs to be quenched, and when satisfied, it makes us happy: but, we remain unhappy when they are not met.
Therefore, if you desire to remain loved with your partner as you raise your children, then you must remain faithful in meeting each other’s emotional needs.
Finally:- It doesn’t take much to sustain lasting romance in a marriage. Just keep doing the little positive things you are doing, and you will see the result in due time.