In this post, we will look at some of the toxic traits In a relationship you must be watchful for. Those traits are so important that when you neglect them, your relationship will become sour or end.
Most relationships crashed because the couples didn’t take note of them, and neither did they try to deal with them. I won’t let that happen to you. We will talk about those toxic traits In a relationship, what they are, examples of toxic traits, and how to deal with them.
So What Are Toxic Traits In A Relationship?
Toxic traits are those characteristics or behaviors that are detrimental to the health of your marriage. They can negatively affect you as a person, people around you, or your entire relationship.
Earlier detection of the behavioral partner and taking prompt steps to deal with them are the best ways to get rid of them. Follow me closely as we look at those toxic traits in a relationship, one after the other.
Let’s dive in.
Toxic Traits In A Relationship To Watch Now:
1. Dishonesty:
Dishonesty kills any relationship fast, no matter how small or big it is. Dishonesty is when you or your spouse lie about whatever. Lies and keeping secrets are part of dishonesty, and you and I know that lies kill a relationship.
All the successful and happy relationships you see now are based on the foundation of truth and openness. The bad thing about dishonesty is that it affects both the dishonest person and the partner.
For example, if your partner is keeping secrets or lying to you about income and expenditures, it will hinder your relationship because it will destroy your bond. When you finally find out, it may bring separation or divorce.
A dishonest person can never be trusted; if that happens, you will be afraid to share your feelings with them. This is the reason I said that any toxic traits in a relationship can destroy it.
2. Stonewalling:
This is yet another silent relationship destroyer. Stonewalling is the act of refusing or withdrawing a partner from another, or a conversation. The aim is to create distance.
Most partners use it in their relationship as a punishment or to sustain power over each other. However, for whatever reason you have to resolve to stonewall your relationship, you are destroying it.
An open conversation is what you need if you want a successful relationship.
3. So Many Excuses:
Another big toxic trait in a relationship is given so many excuses. Your toxic partner has an excuse for everything, and they are never at fault.
The bad thing about this type of lifestyle is that you will never have the opportunity to work together as a team to make your relationship better.
The reason is that they accept they are wrong; they must blame their mistakes or flaws on another person, and some won’t repent or change.
4. Deception:
Deception is a very big marriage destroyer. It first of all erodes trust, undermines your intimacy, and then breeds insecurity. Deception means all forms of lying, withholding important information, etc.
Deception creates a dynamic of dishonesty, which destroys the foundation of a relationship. This immediately affects the trust and makes the relationship fragile or dead.
This keeps the deceived partner betrayed, disillusioned, and hurt, which results in resentment or communication breakdown. It also hinders intimacy from flourishing. When you are not honest with your partner, there is no way your relationship can grow.
Therefore, keep away from deception and watch your relationship flourish.
5. Manipulation:
Manipulative behaviors of any type in a relationship are described as toxic traits in a relationship. It can destroy a relationship within a second, as it creates insecurities.
Employing tactics like gaslighting or guilt-tripping will undermine emotional well-being and autonomy and lead to resentment. The result is the destruction of your relationship.
You need to respect and rebuild trust to drive manipulation far away from your relationship.
6. Emotional Unavailability:
Emotional unavailability can manifest in so many ways, including dodging deep conversations or a complete emotional shutdown.
This behavior makes a partner feel disconnected, unfulfilled, and unsupported in the relationship.
This behavior often leaves the other partner feeling disconnected, unsupported, and unfulfilled in the relationship.
If emotional unavailability is not handled carefully, it can destroy intimacy and create dissatisfaction and loneliness. To address emotional unavailability, you have to be vulnerable and willing to tackle the underlying issues.
7. Gaslighting:
This is another toxic trait that can destroy any relationship. This can cause confusion and emotional harm in any relationship.
When you or your partner consistently sabotage each other’s memories or perceptions, it can cause a breakdown in intimacy or communication.
Your spouse may feel invalidated and start doubting their judgment, which leads to the destruction of self-esteem. This behavioral pattern will make it uneasy for both of you to resolve your conflicts or connect properly.
6. Passive Aggressive Behaviors:
This involves using indirect ways to express your anger or resentment through cunning remarks or behavior. It is a type of communication. It is when your partner behaves as if he agrees or is okay with you on certain things but is upset or negative.
This can affect your communication or make you uncomfortable. It may show up as sneaky insults, putting things off, or sarcasm. Communication will destroy trust and make it impossible for you to understand each other.
7. Infidelity:
Nothing destroys a relationship like infidelity. This is when you or your partner have extramarital affairs with someone else. Infidelity is a breach of trust. It creates insecurity and makes everyone uncomfortable.
When you said your wedding vows, you promised to honor your spouse with your body. When you cheat, you have failed your vows. Additionally, your partner will never be happy when he or she finds out that you cheated.
8. Blame Games:
Blaming is about avoiding taking responsibility for your actions and shifting it to your spouse. Because this behavior hinders problem-solving, it perpetuates the cycle of argumentation and defensiveness.
Being defensive makes working collaboratively to resolve issues impossible, as you become entrenched in finger-pointing. To deal with this, you have to recognize and acknowledge your roles. This fosters cooperation and finds a way to deal with the issues.
9. Constant Criticism:
Constructive criticism is good because it helps to make your partner and the relationship better. When your criticism is not constructive, it becomes destructive.
Constant criticism from your partner or yourself will cause a lot of tension in your relationship. It can make you feel as though you are under attack.
The victim spouse under attack usually feels demoralized or hurt. If it continues, they will become resentful. These are all detrimental to any relationship. The remedy is to shun criticism completely.
Verbal and physical abuse is destructive and intolerable in a marriage, violating rights and harming the well-being of the spouse. Narcissism, characterized by a need for admiration and a lack of empathy, can lead to exploitation and damage trust in a relationship.
10. Verbal and physical abuse:
Verbal and physical abuse in a marriage is intolerable and can cause significant harm to both the spouse’s rights and well-being, which can have lasting effects on their health and the overall relationship.
11. Narcissism:
Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy. It can lead to exploiting your partner for personal gain, causing distrust, and damaging the relationship.
Narcissistic spouses prioritize their achievements and desires over your needs, manipulating you and creating toxic dynamics that cause emotional distress and resentment.
13. Isolation:
This is a form of emotional abuse where a spouse restricts the other from making contact with family and friends. This is aimed at undermining the spouse’s life and identity outside their relationship to create a sense of dependency.
By isolating the spouse, the abusive partner will reduce the victim’s self-esteem and self-confidence to the nearest minimum. Now the abused spouse has nobody to run to or resources; that makes them depend entirely on the abuser for everything.
This is one of the most toxic traits in a relationship. To deal with that, you may have to seek help from a therapist or leave the relationship if necessary.
14. Being Totally Dependent:
Dependency in a relationship is all about one partner relying so much on the other partner for happiness, decision-making, and validation. The complete reliance can create unfavorable dynamics where the partner relied upon feels overwhelmed by the constant dependency.
Over time, this situation can cause resentment because the dependent partner may start feeling controlled or stifled. The other partner, on the other hand, feels suffocated by the responsibility they are carrying.
15. Jealousy:
Jealousy is also one of the toxic traits in a relationship that every couple must be aware of and avoid seriously. Although marriage experts say that jealousy can be normal in some circumstances,.
The reason is that everyone has a measure of sensitivities and insecurities that can prompt jealousy in our lives. When it comes to relationships, jealousy arises when one partner feels insecure that someone may take over.
Jealousy becomes bad when it becomes a dominant emotion in any relationship. It is also associated with being anxious, depressed, angry, etc. This makes jealousy destructive. You have to quickly avoid this so it doesn’t hurt your relationship.
16. Disrespect In Relationship:
Disrespect can mean so many things in a relationship. It can be overstepping a partner’s boundaries, showing lack of regards to them or disregarding their opinions.
This can destroy the foundation of trust in a relationship and erode intimacy and mutual respect. It also breeds hostility, resentment or a toxic atmosphere of defensiveness.
The bad thing about disrespect is that it undermines the couples stability and leaves them feeling unfulfilled and invalidated. There is need to avoid this behavioral pattern entirely.
17. Controlling Behavior:
This is all about a partner dominating the other partner in all things in relationships. Controlling partners want to control or have power over the other partner. They can be overbearing and domineering in all they do to manipulate others. If your partner is exhibiting all these, then it is likely to affect your marriage.
How To Fix A Toxic Relationship:
1. Set Your Boundaries:
One of the ways to fix toxic traits in a relationship is to set boundaries in your relationship. Your boundaries state where your power ends and where your partner’s power begins.
Establishing your boundaries is very important to protect you from your partner’s toxicity. Your boundaries will clearly state what you want or don’t want in your relationship.
It will define what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable from your partner. Be sure to let your partner know these boundaries. Respect your boundaries, and hold each other accountable.
2. Improve your communication:
Dealing with any challenge in a relationship begins with addressing your communication skills. You and I know that communication is the backbone of any relationship. Both of you should be open in your communication. Learn how to sincerely express your concerns, feelings, and needs without fear.
This will help you discover those underlying issues and address them. Prompt action to save a relationship from a communication breakdown is paramount.
3. Have a Self-Reflection:
To deal with those toxic traits in your relationship, there is need for self-reflection. This involves having an honest evaluation of your feelings, behaviors and thoughts
Both of you should take responsibility for your contributions towards the toxicity of your relationship and then try to change a new leaf. You have to be humble and vulnerable and have the desire to grow to do this.
When you acknowledge your personal contribution to the shortcomings and then devote to making things better again, you’ll succeed.
Both of you can cultivate self-awareness and build healthy dynamics in your relationship. Though it may not be that easy, you have to be committed to continuous learning and evolution that will benefit you and your partner.
4. Commit To Change:
If you learn what toxic traits are in a relationship but refuse to work to change for the better, then reading this post is useless. You must switch to actions immediately.
Both of you must be willing to recognize the needs for change and actively commit to doing it. This may involve dropping all those harmful patterns and adopting better behaviors. Then keep working on developing your personal development.
5. Take Good Care Of Yourself:
This may not look as important when you are dealing with the toxicity, but it does. Most people forget themselves because they are trying to cause change.
The truth is that you must be alive to enjoy a successful relationship, so you have to do what is necessary to be alive. Taking care of your own well-being by engaging in self-care activities like relaxation techniques, exercise, etc.
Learn to also spend time with your friends and family, as you will gain knowledge that can help you deal with your situation. A healthy sense of fulfillment and self-esteem can improve resilience and make positive impact in your relationship.
6. Deal With The Core Issues:
There is need to be intentional to find the root causes of the toxic traits, including unresolved conflicts, unmet needs, etc and address them.
The truth is that if you don’t find them, dealing with the issues won’t be easy. Work as a team to address the issues constructively. It could be through self-help resources, therapy, or having an open dialogue.
7. See A Marriage Counselor:
I will also advise you to see a marriage therapist to help you deal with the issues. Individual counseling or couples therapy will offer you a good environment to explore relationship dynamics and deal with underlying issues. You’ll have the opportunity to learn effective communication skills and how to resolve your conflicts.
A qualified therapist will offer you guidance and support that will work in every situation you are passing through. Read my post about how to find a good.
Conclusion:
In conclusion, it is always healthy to be aware of toxic traits in a relationship. Dishonesty, silent treatment, stonewalling, and manipulations are all harmful behavior. You must drop them before it affects your marriage.
Setting boundaries, improving your communication skills and committing to change are important in fixing a toxic relationship
Self reflection, self care and taking time to address core issues are also essential. You can seek help from marriage therapist if you can’t do it on your own. Have in mind that healthy relationship requires honesty, effort and mutual respect from both of you.
With dedication and willingness to change, it is easier to overcome toxic traits in a relationship and build a fulfilling one.