How to Build Emotional Intimacy In Marriage Now.

You must learn how to build emotional intimacy in marriage because it is one important tool you can’t do without if you want your relationship to succeed.


Of course, it is the most valuable part of every relationship. Any relationship or marriage that lacks intimacy is as good as dead.

But don’t worry. In this post, I will show you what emotional intimacy looks like in marriage, the effect of no intimacy, and how to improve emotional intimacy in marriage. 

Let’s dive in. 

Also, Read:


The verified meaning of love in marriage.


How to meet emotional needs in marriage.


What is emotional intimacy?


What exactly is emotional intimacy, and why is it so important? Are you having emotional intimacy issues in your relationship? If so, how should you bring back emotional intimacy in your marriage?


If these questions are going through your mind now, don’t worry, because in this post, I will answer all your questions and show you how to build emotional intimacy in marriage faster, so stay tuned.


Wikipedia describes emotional intimacy as “an aspect of interpersonal relationships that varies in intensity from one relationship to another and varies from one time to another, much like physical intimacy.”


There may be several definitions of emotional intimacy, but no matter how it is described, it is important to note that it is one of the most important keys you need to restore the word “US” in your relationship.


Signs of Lack of Intimacy in Marriage: 


You are growing apart consistently.


When emotional intimacy disappears in your relationship, you might notice that you and your partner are growing apart daily.


You will know that your partner’s feelings towards you have evaporated and you can’t understand what caused it, but you also know that you don’t spend time the way you used to and don’t relate to each other as before.

If your relationship matches what I have described here, then there is a need for you to understand the ways of building emotional intimacy in marriage.


Outsiders know you better than your spouse.


You may be under one roof, but you neither talk nor chat with each other; you eat separately, and you prefer to tell your friends about your feelings than your partner.


Without intimacy, there will be a communication breakdown, and without communication, your relationship can never succeed.


In a fresh relationship, the couple doesn’t wait to call, chat, or visit each other, so if these are not happening in your long-term relationship, that’s a clear sign that emotional intimacy is lacking.


There‘s No Transparency and Communication As Regard Your Emotions: 


When you are afraid to communicate your feelings and your needs to your partner, it is a red flag that intimacy is lacking.


The couple who knows how to speak their minds freely and openly are much happier and connect better. But that couple who finds it hard to talk about their emotions fights pretty often.


No Support for Each Other:


Another important step to building emotional intimacy in marriage is to learn how to support each other.


Couples in supportive relationships know what it means to support each other, and they always do so because they enjoy trust and understanding.


They also share their emotions and, therefore, get the maximum support they need.


When you find it hard to go to your partner for help, it means there is no good emotional relationship between you.


When You Avoid Physical Closeness:


Physical closeness is a symbol of emotional connection. When it is absent in your relationship, it is a sign you are falling apart.


When you stop kissing, hugging, romancing, and having sex, you are making your marriage vulnerable to cheating and infidelity.


A good emotional attachment brings physical closeness. Happy couples enjoy more closeness and connection all the time.


Can a marriage survive without emotional intimacy?


How can a marriage thrive when everywhere is empty and lifeless? The couple will be at a distance from each other; there will be no time to talk, no time to hold hands, or even time to share feelings.


I have seen so many marriages try to go on without these feelings of intimacy, but over time, they crumble.


Marriages can only be held together when deep, intimate emotional feelings are present.
If you are currently having challenges in your marriage, you should try to get those feelings back first.


How to build emotional intimacy in marriage.


1) Make yourself comfortable at all times.


You have to figure out how your spouse loves to enjoy his or her time. Learn how to make your spouse comfortable any time you are together. Make him desire to be around you at all times.


A happy spouse who feels loved is the pride of their marriage because they put all their efforts into seeing that things work out well.


This is why you should try to do your part to improve your marital bond and always make your partner feel special.  The secret steps to ensure your spouse feels special begins from your mind and then it flow to your eyes.


The question now is: how do you see them?


Most times, we become so busy in a relationship that forget to remember our spouse’s feelings and needs, which leaves them feeling neglected and alone. However, if you want to rebuild intimacy in your marriage, then you should think of how to keep each other comfortable.


2) How To Build Emotional Intimacy In Marriage Step Two: Forget And Move Forward


You should learn how to forget your partner’s flaws to move forward in your relationship. They may have done so many things to you that leave no space for forgiveness in your heart, but the only way to restore intimacy is to let go.


I know that it will not be easy to do, especially when it happens again and again. The best way is to let go; after all, nobody is perfect, and that includes you.


If you will one day wish your partner would forgive you for your flaw, then you have to start forgiving.


Here is why you must forgive


According to marriage experts, ” couples who practice forgiveness are more likely to have a lasting relationship.


Forgiveness also lowers cholesterol levels, reduces the risk of heart attack, and helps you sleep well.


In other words, a lack of forgiveness can wear you down and cause sleepless nights, and it can affect you physically and mentally too.


How To Build Emotional Intimacy In Marriage, Step Three. Spend quality time with your spouse.


Increase the quality of time you spend with your spouse. Make it unique and enjoyable for him. Make him look forward to staying with you. Most couples feel sad when it is time to go home because they never want to go to a nagging wife or husband.


If your home is conducive, your partner will always crave being home, but if not, they will prefer to hang out with friends.


It’s important to spend time with each other, as it will create an unbreakable cord. You will have a good time discussing your relationship and seeking out your differences.


If your partner refuses to come home on time due to how uncomfortable you made things be, you’ll not have much time or good discussions, which will help your relationship succeed.


How to Build Emotional Intimacy in Marriage, Step Four: Constantly Admire Your Spouse:


You must admire your spouse always. Appreciate him or her at all times. To admire in a relationship means to respect your partner.


To show your partner that you admire him or her, you stand for and respect whatever they believe in and understand the things that give them the utmost joy.


This ignites the fire in you that wants to rise to seek other ways to be their greatest “inspiration for admiration” at a higher level as you seek to be the inspiration for their admiration.”


The moment your partner understands that you have gone the extra mile to make them the best, they will also love to be the best for you too.


Below are a few words to show your partner that you admire him or her.


“You mean the world to me.”


2. “I bless the day I found you.”


3. “I appreciate how you take care of me.”


4. “You are my favorite person.”


5. “You are the best husband or wife.” Etc


How to Build Emotional Intimacy in Marriage, Step Five: Seek a Therapist to Help You


When a lack of intimacy becomes consistent in your relationship and you can’t do anything about it, consider visiting a marriage counselor for assistance.


The counselor knows how to help you deal with such problems because they are trained for that purpose.

They will teach you some effective ways of communicating that will be beneficial for you and your partner, and they will also help you deal with the underlying issues that can arise in the future to destroy your bond.


After seeing the marriage therapist, you will be equipped to deal with some issues that would have been hard for you initially. At least you will know the proper steps to build emotional intimacy in marriage fast after seeing a counselor.

Examples Of Emotional Intimacy In Marriage

1. Sharing Vulnerabilities: Emotional intimacy often involves being open and vulnerable with someone about your fears, insecurities, and past experiences.

For example, confiding in your partner about childhood trauma or discussing your anxieties about the future can deepen your emotional connection.

By revealing these deeper layers of yourself, you invite trust and understanding into the relationship.

2. Active Listening: Engaging in active listening demonstrates emotional intimacy by showing genuine interest and empathy toward the other person’s thoughts and feelings.

For instance, when your friend expresses their concerns about a personal challenge, you give them your full attention, validate their emotions, and offer support without judgment.

Through active listening, you create a safe space for them to express themselves fully, fostering a deeper emotional bond.

3. Physical Affection and Comfort: Emotional intimacy can also be demonstrated through physical touch and affection. This includes hugs, cuddling, or simply holding hands during difficult times.

For example, when your partner is feeling stressed or upset, offering physical comfort communicates your closeness and support, reinforcing the emotional connection between you both.

4. Shared Dreams and Goals: When partners or close friends share their aspirations, dreams, and long-term goals, it strengthens emotional intimacy in marriage.

Discussing your ambitions for the future, whether it’s starting a family, advancing in your career, or traveling the world together, creates a sense of unity and mutual understanding.

By aligning your visions and supporting each other’s aspirations, you deepen your emotional bond and sense of partnership.

5. Conflict Resolution and Compromise: How couples navigate disagreements and conflicts can significantly impact their emotional intimacy.

Healthy conflict resolution involves open communication, empathy, and a willingness to compromise.

For example, when faced with a disagreement, approaching the situation with patience, understanding, and a focus on finding a solution together can strengthen the emotional connection between partners.

By demonstrating respect for each other’s perspectives and feelings, you reinforce trust and intimacy within the relationship.

Effects of Lack of Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: 

There are so many effects of a lack of emotional intimacy in a relationship or marriage. Below are some of them. 

1. Decreased Communication: When emotional intimacy is lacking, partners may become less inclined to communicate openly and honestly with each other.

This can lead to misunderstandings, unresolved issues, and a sense of emotional distance.

Without effective communication, couples may struggle to address problems or express their needs and feelings, which can further strain the relationship.

2. Increased Conflict: Without emotional intimacy, minor disagreements can escalate into larger conflicts.

When partners feel emotionally disconnected, they may be more likely to react defensively or aggressively during conflicts rather than seeking compromise.

This cycle of conflict can create a negative atmosphere in the relationship and erode trust and intimacy even further.

3. Feelings of Loneliness and Isolation: Emotional intimacy is crucial for feeling connected and supported by your partner.

When it’s lacking, individuals may experience feelings of loneliness and isolation, even while in the presence of their spouse.

This sense of emotional disconnection can lead to resentment and a deepening sense of dissatisfaction with the relationship.

4. Loss of Intimacy and Affection: Emotional intimacy is closely linked to physical intimacy and affection in a relationship.

When partners feel emotionally distant, it can impact their desire for physical closeness and intimacy.

This can result in a decrease in sexual activity, cuddling, and other forms of physical affection, further exacerbating feelings of disconnection and dissatisfaction.

5. Diminished Emotional Support: Emotional intimacy provides a foundation of support and understanding within a marriage.

When it’s lacking, partners may feel unsupported and misunderstood, leading to feelings of resentment and disillusionment.

Without emotional support, individuals may seek validation and comfort from other sources, potentially leading to emotional affairs or a breakdown of trust in the relationship.




No matter how busy you are, don’t neglect to go out of your comfort zone to learn how to build emotional intimacy in marriage.


It is the blood of your relationship, and it is an important tool that helps you build a bond. Lack of emotional intimacy will cause disaster. Therefore, concentrate on what will bring closeness, bonding, and a good connection to your partner and you.


I strongly believe these points I listed will help you in your marriage as you start restoring intimacy.


Understand that it is not a quick fix, but after you have learned how to build emotional intimacy in marriage and then applied it to your marriage, things will gradually start changing.

Aik: AIK UCHEGBU is a writer and an authority in anything that matters about marriage and how to build it successfully. His followers have been greatly enhanced by his findings. You will not be disappointed by coming to this site.