Tagged: happily married

15 Steps to Building a Christian marriage.

15 Steps to Building a Christian marriage.

Building a Christian marriage

Marriage is sweet when is built and sustained in a Christian way. It is said in the book of John 16 v 33 “ I have told you these things that in me you may have peace, in the world you will have troubles. In this article, I will show you some ways of building a Christian marriage that will last.


The verse of the scripture we read above simply shows that any marriage that is not connected to Christ would surely not stand the taste of time. And so it is better to build on Christ than the world.


If that is what you want to know, then let’s do so.


15 Important Steps To Building A Christian Marriage.



1) Start your marriage with God and in God.

If you are still searching, then the best thing you must try to do is to commit every step of your way to God. Let him have the pre-eminence of everything.


Proverbs 3 v 5 say’s” trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your part.


If you are already married, it is not yet too late for you. You can still ask God to take over from where you are now. Remember it cannot be done by your power or might, but by His Spirit.

2) Pray together always as a family.

This is the most important thing to do. You must pray for your family and with your family. Bible said ‘pray without season”. Do not let your prayer be only when there is trouble.


Always have your family devotions. Commit all to Him and things will move smoothly.



3) It depends only on God’s Plan for Your Marriage.

Be sure to search the scriptures, every day to know the plans of God for your marriage. It can only work for you if the Lord has said it. Jeremiah 29 v 11 said “For I know the thought that I think towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil. That is the reason why you must give it up for Him alone.



4) Say only those Things you Want for Your Marriage and Do not Say the Opposite/ Negative.

Always be careful to say those things that are consistent with the word of God as regards to your marriage. Remember what you say is what you get. The Bible said in Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life (are} in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof”.


Always be careful so you do not jeopardize your marriage with the ill words that may come from your mouth.


5) Wife Submit to Your Husband and Husband Love Your Wife.

This is not a negotiation; it is a command from God.

God would have said wives try and submit to your husband, but He gave a command because that will be the only secret to a happy marriage.


Men you have a very big task here. You must love your wives. Your love is for her alone. It is not meant for another person. If your marriage must be bulletproof, then this command must be kept to the last.


6) Be Faithful to Your Spouse.

Try everything you can to stay faithful to your spouse. I used the word try because I know so many challenges may come that will make you want to cheat. Never compromise, never give room for suspicions.


7) Trust.

Always trust your spouse in all things and at all times. Never let it out. Even when it looks like trust has been broken, continue to trust.



8) Share quality times together

It is not just about spending time together but spending quality time together. Make each of your stays together with a very memorable one.



9) Forgive your Spouse every time

To err is human but to forgive is divine. Learn to forgive your spouse any time he or she does wrong to you.



10) Do not deny Sex

Do not think of denying sex to your spouse. It can make him /her look for somewhere else to get it. Also, remember that the bible said that it can only be with the consent of each other.



11) Talk about your challenges

Take some time to discuss your problems with your spouse and bring a plan to resolve it. Never sleep without settling your disputes.



12) Never bring third Party into Your Marriage.

There will always be problems in your marriage. They are inevitable, but how you settle it is what matters. Remember you must not invite an outsider, not your mother, sister or even friends. It is a family issue and must be settled by the two of you.



13) Be contempt with what you have at That Moment

Always be satisfied with whatever stage you are in your marriage. Hebrews 13:5 “ Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such thing as you have. Never look at what other people are doing in their marriage and think of introducing it to your own. It will only bring problems to you and your spouse

Remember you are trying to build a Christian marriage.



14) Have open conversation

Communication is very important in every marriage. Absence of it brings quarrel, mistrust, infidelity. And then divorce.



15) Be thankful all The Time.

Be appreciative of any little thing your spouse did for you no matter how small it is. You can only receive another if you appreciate the first.



Now you have learned ways of building a Christian marriage, it is up to you to know what you want for your marriage.

Remember Jesus said in me you shall have life, but in the world, you will have tribulations.

The question is: What do you want?

Things to know about christian marriage.

Things to know about christian marriage.

Christian marriage

I have given many pieces of advice on how to have a successful marriage. Today, I want to talk about the steps to build a happy Christian marriage and the things you may want to know about it. Simply put this very article is all about marriage from the Christian point of view.


In this article, I want to uncover the most important aspect of marriage that every Christian must know and the benefits of playing by these rules, which will, in turn, promote a highly successful and happy marriage.


There have been the usual teachings about the duties of the husband and the activities of a wife in promoting and building a happy marriage; it is all over the internet.


So many prominent marriage counselors have written several books on marriages yet I realize that they have not actually helped in curbing the problems in marriages. It is very much an opposite to the known steps to building a happy Christian marriage.


In this very article, I want to share from the experiences I had in my own marriage, this includes the ups and downs that I experienced in my ten years of marriage.


It all started in 2005 when I decided to get a helpmate. I thought I  had grown very well to fit into the institution called marriage, I thought  I knew everything there is to know about marriage before I rushed into it,

I thought it was all about seeing a beautiful woman and getting married to her. No, it very much more than that, there are proper steps to building a happy Christian marriage every couple must take

Let me tell the truth: no one can achieve any success in anything in life alone without the help of God, and marriage is not an exception. My ignorance of the fundamental concepts of marriage made me face so many challenges.


There were times when I think my marriage will collapse. Things were so rough, It was quarreling every day. But that was not my initial plan. At my early age, I use to see some married couples moving to hold their hands, talking and laughing, and I told myself that one day I will have such a wonderful marriage too.

Yes, of course, It started like that and it is still like that. But marriage is more than holding hands and walking in the street. There are other things that happen inside the house that I did not see. Those are the things everybody should know before going into marriage.


When the challenges became too much for me, there was nothing again left for me to do, Then I had to get down on my, kneels asking God for the next line of action. I thank God for promptly answering my prayers.

As God started showing me the ways I should go about it, I realized that those usual teachings in the church are very inadequate in helping couples build a happy Christian marriage. Christian marriage is completely more than that. You must have the full knowledge of what building your marriage in a Christian way is all about.

What is Christian Marriage?

This is simply the coming together of a man and woman who believes in God and who knows Jesus as their personal Lord and savior into a union called marriage. A Christian marriage begins when these people believe in what God says about marriage.


The main purpose of Christian marriage is to make the man and woman holy, and this holy relationship will then begets a happy and successful. Christian marriage.


God the head of our homes

When a man truly believes and surrenders his life to God, then his priority must be to have his marriage be instituted in the very will of God.


Any marriage that is based on the knowledge and the will of God is likely to stand the taste of time.


In the bible, the subject of marriage expands into something that is very much broader. The husband and wives’ relationship is made to signify the relationship between Jesus and the church. The husbands are asked to lay down their lives for their spouses.


God’s specially designed marriage to be an instrument that will make us more like Christ.


I learned the hard way

It took me time to know and understand these. But thank God that I did on anyway, and those are the secret that changed my marriage.


One of the things I want to tell you is to go ahead and search the scriptures yourself. You could see that God has a lot of plans for every marriage.


Do well to plan

It pays greatly if you will make God the architect of your marriage. A famous marriage counselor in his statistical analysis about marriage said that “Every marriage starting today has more than 41-43 chance of resulting in divorce” He went on to say that Christian marriage has only 35% of chance for divorce and that is much lower than the secular marriage.


I think the only thing left for you at this time is to plan on the steps you must use to make your marriage a happy Christian marriage.


My next article will be on the steps to have a Christian marriage. Be on the lookout for it.

Thanks for reading.

10 Identified causes of divorce in marriage

10 Identified causes of divorce in marriage

Causes of Divorce In Marriage


Many marriages failed for many reasons. Most times the couples are able to see the main causes of divorce in marriage starring in their faces, and yet overlook it, until nothing could be done about it again.


I had the pleasure to interview some couples about their own views concerning this subject matter and listen to what I got from them.


85% of them gave me the answer that marveled me. They said “if it is not because of childbearing, I wouldn’t have married” If you ask me, I will tell you that marriage is sweet if and only if you know what it takes to make it sweet.

Did you see what I said in that last statement? It simply means that the sweetness and the sour taste of your marriage depend on you.


One important thing you must have in your mind is that it can never be all that rosy. There must always be ups and downs. They must even be the things you will see that can make you want to run or divorce. The most important thing to note is that divorce is not an option when you see all these things.


You can actually work on your marriage and get it back on the feet again. However, you must get yourself acquainted with these things so that you know how to tackle it when it starts rearing up its ugly head. Below are the main causes of divorce in marriage.


Causes of Divorce In Marriage


When money stopped flowing the way it used to.

Money is very crucial in marriage. There are times in the marriage when money flows very well, probably because there are good jobs or good business that yields money.

At those times of income flow, there is always love and joy, all challenges about money are been solved, and all need are meet without much ado. However, there may be times that the money will stop flowing for some time as it used to.

Then many things start coming up; it is now shouts and quarrels. That is not the best thing to do. Always have in mind that one-day things will be better again. It doesn’t matter how long. It will be well again.

When he/she pays more attention to the children and not you.


Couples pray for the gift of children in their marriage. However, at times it looks as if the arrival of children brings about a reduction in the intimacy between them.

Yes, of course, now more attention is given to the children, that couples have fewer times to share together. A friend of mine went the extent of taking pictures with the children forgetting their mother.

Listen to what the wife told me when I visited them. She s, aid “ any time I look at those pictures, I feel like I am not welcomed here”. Would you rather want your spouse to have this thought?

Now listen to what you will do to save yourself the stress. Always show your spouse that he/she is important as well as the children.


When your Sex life becomes dull.

Sex is an indispensable factor in every marriage. However, there are times when it looks as if the sex life of your marriage has become dull.

Most of the common reasons for this is the disparity in the sexual responsiveness or libido of the individual partner. When this happens, the next thing to do is to try all you can to restore sex in your marriage.


When there is no more emotional intimacy.


There are times in the marriage when everything seems to become cold between the couples. This usually happens after so many years of marriage.

There is no more emotional relationship between couples, no more time for cuddling, no more time for affectionate touching, no more laughing or talking together. At these moments, you may want to divorce; wait! You can get it back again.