Marriage is sweet, but there are also many things you will see in your marriage, especially in a long marriage that will almost want to make you want to throw in the towel. That includes quarrels, disagreements, and disrespect, etc.
In this post, I will show you some signs of disrespect in a marriage. Though the signs may not be the same in all marriages, however, most of the signs of disrespect in a marriage are the
What Is Disrespect In A Marriage?
The online dictionary describes disrespect as a lack of respect or courtesy. When you relate it to family, disrespect in a relationship or marriage will mean that either a husband or wife does not respect the other.
Many things will cause partners to disrespect each other including – selfishness, not caring about your partner, dishonesty, lies, broken promises, insecurity, etc. We will discuss them later, but let’s check the signs of disrespect in a marriage.
Signs Of Disrespect In A Marriage.
Signs Of Disrespect In A Marriage Step One: Criticism:
This is one of the great signs of disrespect in a marriage. So if you or your spouse knows too well how to not give good criticism that will allow you to grow, but only bad criticism, then you are disrespectful.
Excess criticism is the same as always finding fault with your partner and that will destroy your marriage, as it will make your partner feel there is something about them that is wrong or bad.
In the long run, their self-image will be affected. It also shows a sign of marital dissatisfaction and it leads to divorce too.
The way out of this is to improve your communication skills so you will learn the difference between the words that will elicit trouble and those that build up.
2. Signs of Disrespect In A Marriage. Step Two. Ignoring Your Partner’s Contributions Or Inputs:
Your partner’s view and opinion are as important as yours in your marriage. An adage says that “two heads are better than one. Putting your partner’s opinion down and not valuing them is not a good sign in a marriage. It shows you don’t trust or value them too.
Good communication is what makes a good marriage and hearing and accepting your spouse’s opinions will make them feel respected, the opposite will make them withdraw from you and your relationship.
3. Signs Of Disrespect In A Marriage, Step Three. Making Decisions Without You:
It is one of the big signs of disrespect when you or your partner make decisions in your marriage without the other partner. Every big decision about your marriage like buying a house, taking a loan, etc must be taken by the two of you.
Doing so without each other shows you disrespect and never value your partner.
4. Sign Your Partner Is Disrespectful; Step Four. Name-calling:
Name-calling usually occurs when you and your partner are having arguments which later transcend into a heated moment, and then calling of nasty and derogatory words accompanies it. That’s another way to know if your better half still has regard for you or not.
The truth is that “out of the abundance of heart our mouth speaks.” therefore when our partner starts using those words against us, that clearly shows how much they value us. For example, if he or she calls you “lazy,” that shows he or has always seen you as such.
5. Signs Of Disrespect In A Marriage; Step Five. Trying To Change You:
This is not a good step to take in a relationship because it destroys it. When all your partner wants to do is to make you lose weight, control your eating habits, or stop your hobbies just to suit him or her, that shows they are disrespecting who you are now.
If you are in a supporting relationship or marriage, then that is acceptable as that will help you improve: If not, that is not normal and it is unacceptable.
6. Signs You Are Disrespecting Your Partner; Step Six. They Won’t Contribute:
Whether it is contributing to making your marriage work or bringing good suggestions during your discussion, a disrespectful wife or husband won’t want to do so.
A good marriage requires that you and your partner must work as a team to make your marriage better. If it is one side, then it is a sign to watch closely.
7. Signs Of Disrespect In A Marriage; Step Seven. They won’t Put Their Devices Down:
Imagine that you are talking to your spouse or asking a question and they are not even paying attention, instead, their attention is on their gadget (laptop or phone), it is a sign of disrespect.
It is fun to press your phone or important to check your emails or check your marketing replies on your laptop, but it is more important to listen to your spouse with undivided attention when they are talking.
8. Signs Of Disrespect; Step Eight. The Specialized In Making Feel Down:
Your caring partner will never want you to feel down, your joy is always their wish and they will try to make you that.
Your disrespectful husband will take pleasure in making you feel down, talk you down, and make you feel bad in your spirit. They do so to be sure you are under their control.
9. How To Know A Disrespectful Spouse; Step Nine. Humiliations In Public Places:
This is undoubtedly one of the biggest signs of disrespect in a marriage that is glaring. Many couples have disagreements in their homes, but you will never find that out outside unless you visit their homes.
Some others will not feel guilty to bring up their differences outside. They won’t mind where they are when they are shouting, scolding, or nagging at you.
That’s not a good step to building your relationship. Good partners are each other’s cheerleaders, both outside and inside the house.
10. Signs Of Disrespect In A Marriage; Step Ten. Financial Disrespect:
Money is one of the things that brings issues in any relationship. It is always about how to make and spend the money or overspending that causes the issue.
The worst and the most disrespectful part about finance is when your partner makes you feel less because they earn more than you.
They won’t like to support you even when they know that you can’t do it alone financially. A caring and supportive partner doesn’t care that they earn more than you, all they care about is your happiness.
11. Signs Of Disrespect; Step Eleven. Silent Treatment:
This is when your partner refuses to talk to you as a punishment. It is also called stonewalling and it is one of the signs of disrespect in a marriage to watch. Silence from your partner is not bad when it is about spending time alone, that is when “silence is golden.”
When they just refuse to talk to you or be involved in meaningful conversations concerning your account marriage, it is bad it shows that your better half doesn’t care about you or your feelings. It is a disrespect.
12. Is Your Spouse Disrespectful? Here’s a Sign. Your Needs Don’t Matter To Them:
Your physical and emotional needs are the responsibilities of your partner to meet as a couple: when you find out that your partner only cares about their needs and doesn’t care a thing about what happens to you that is a sign of disrespect.
13. Signs Of Disrespect In A Marriage; Step Thirteen. Always Comparing You with Others:
If your partner is comparing with someone else, that is a clear sign. Your partner should love you for who you are and not what you are. If they start comparing you, then they are either becoming tired of you or just want to kill your self-esteem.
Healthy relationships depend on mutual respect, acceptability, and recognizing your spouse’s flaws and strengths. When you compare or are compared by your partner, it will introduce unnecessary competition, which hinders emotional connection. It will destroy your marriage.
14. Signs Of Disrespect In A Marriage Step; Fourteenth You Are Not Their Priority:
This is one of the signs of disrespect too. Imagine when your partner prefers to be with their friends, prefer to take care of outsiders, and not you.
As the partner, you are supposed to be the first to know about their promotion in the office, their achievement, joy, or hurts, instead, you are hearing it from outside. That’s a sign to check.
15. Signs Of Disrespect In A Marriage; Step Fifteen. Not Ready To Apologize:
There is no doubt that couples fight often. Marriage experts have also proved that fighting or quarreling doesn’t mean a relationship is not strong, instead, it helps a relationship stronger.
That being said, quarreling or fighting becomes disrespectful or bad when it becomes prevalent and for the same reason. It becomes worse when your partner is the cause of the issues and is not ready to use the 3 magic words “I am sorry.” Being ready to apologize is what makes a marriage stronger.
16. Signs Of Disrespect; Step Sixteen; Dishonest:
You can’t talk about the signs of disrespect without mentioning dishonesty. This is the opposite of honesty, and it means lies and other misconduct.
Nothing kills a relationship more than dishonesty. When you tell your partner lies again and again and they eventually find it out, you have belittled yourself to them and that’s when they won’t care about what they do to you.
There is always a price to pay for not being honest: therefore, don’t lay your marriage foundation on lies if you don’t want to be disrespected by your partner.
17. Step Seventeen. When You Consistently Disregard Your Partner’s Time Or Being Late:
Consistently being late or disregarding your partner’s time reflects a lack of consideration and can strain the relationship. Punctuality is a form of respect, and chronic tardiness can convey indifference or prioritize one’s schedule over the shared time.
It may lead to frustration, erode trust, and convey a message that your partner’s time is not valued. This behavior can breed resentment and impact the overall dynamics, making it crucial to communicate openly about expectations and find a compromise.
Respecting each other’s time fosters a healthier connection, demonstrating mutual regard and a commitment to shared moments.
18. Criticizing Your Partner’s Family Or Friends:
In a marriage, criticizing your partner’s family or friends can be perceived as disrespectful because it may create tension and strain relationships. It’s essential to communicate concerns tactfully, fostering understanding rather than placing blame. Respecting each other’s connections helps maintain a harmonious and supportive marital environment.
19. Minimizing The Importance Of Your Partner’s Interests:
Minimizing the importance of your partner’s interests in a marriage is a form of disregard for their individuality and personal fulfillment.
When you downplay or dismiss what matters to your spouse, it sends a message that you don’t value their uniqueness or the things that bring them joy.
This lack of acknowledgment can lead to feelings of unimportance and dissatisfaction, eroding the foundation of mutual respect that is crucial in a healthy marital relationship.
Ultimately, it hinders the supportive and understanding environment that should characterize a strong and respectful marriage.
20. Signs Of Disrespect In A Marriage; Step Twenty. Refusing To Accept.
Refusing to apologize or accept responsibility for mistakes in a marriage is a sign of disrespect because it demonstrates a lack of accountability and an unwillingness to acknowledge the impact of one’s actions on the partner.
Apologizing is a fundamental aspect of healthy communication, and when a spouse avoids it, it can create an atmosphere of defensiveness and resentment.
It suggests a disregard for the emotional well-being of the partner and undermines the trust and openness necessary for a strong, respectful marital bond.
A willingness to apologize and take responsibility is vital for resolving conflicts and maintaining a supportive and considerate connection in a marriage.
How To Fix Disrespect In A Marriage:
Take It Slowly: I know you may be pushed to tackle your partner immediately, but that’s not the best to do at that point. If you act immediately you will add more fire.
Take a break for a moment to restructure your mind, and then find the best time to approach your disrespectful spouse. Start by telling him or her how you are hurt by that action.
As you begin the conversation with your partner be sure to check your tone and your gestures. If you use harsh tones, they will become defensive. Just speak calmly and politely, avoid blame or ill words
If you are such who find it hard to express your feeling, then writing them down may help you. Your spouse will probably understand it in writing rather than saying it. Remember that all you want is to pass your messages across to your disrespectful partner.
This is another quick step that will help you when you have a misbehaving partner. Boundaries will help you know if they are deliberately doing what they are doing.
Therefore set your boundaries and communicate them to them. Be specific about what you can tolerate and what you can’t. If you are not very sure of what boundaries mean in a relationship or how to set them, then consider reading this post about setting boundaries in your marriage.
3. Avoid Blame Games: As I said earlier, it’s not proper to blame your partner when you are trying to deal with your marital conflicts. This means you must be watchful of your methods of communication during these moments.
Don’t assign any fault, instead of blaming or accusing each other let them know your feelings by using “I” statements else they will become defensive.
For example, you can say “I am always hurt when… ” instead of blaming. This approach will give room for an open dialogue and both of you will be able to understand your views.
It will also help you know how to deal with your issues as a team. By doing so, you are sure of a better relationship that encourages empathy and problem-solving, rather than the promotion of conflicts by constant accusation.
4. Understand The Root Cause: Most times, the disrespect stems from somewhere including unmet needs, different perspectives, and communication breakdown.
Take time to know what reasons your partner has for her actions. Find out their hidden grievances, personal struggles, and unexpressed concerns.
Perhaps there misunderstanding or clash of values that you didn’t resolve effectively. By getting to know these things, you are opening doors for honest dialogue.
As you address the underlying issues, you are paving the way for constructive solutions. You must approach them with empathy, patience, and and genuine desire, to get your relationship back on its feet.
5. Check Yourself Well: One of the ways to go when you have seen all the signs of disrespect in a marriage is to look inward. You may be the reason he/she is disrespectful.
Reflect on when the disrespect started. Probably you didn’t respond the way you should, or you didn’t listen to their perspective or neglected their needs.
Also, check the tone you used during your conversation, is it normal, or did it cause more harm to your relationship? When you consider all these, you may be shocked to know you are the reason for the issues at hand.
6. Practice What You Preach: You expect your partner to be respectful, so you also have to be respectful. You must become what you want someone to be to you. This will foster a healthy relationship. It is crucial to show the values and behavior you want from your partner.
As you set positive examples, you’ll set a good atmosphere where respect, communication, and understanding are cherished. When you consistently show kindness, openness, and empathy creates grounds for mutual understanding.
This approach will not only strengthen your connection with your partner but it will also encourage your partner to be the same. Remember that the power of leading by example lies in the ability to inspire and shape the dynamics of your relationship
Remember, the power of leading by example lies in its ability to inspire and shape the dynamics of your relationship in a constructive and fulfilling manner.
Respecting Them: Another thing you will do to gain back respect from your partner after you have seen all the signs of disrespect in a marriage is to treat your partner with empathy and respect.
The truth is that your partner will treat you exactly the way you treat them. That means they will treat you badly if you don’t treat them well.
Therefore, if your spouse is disrespecting you, you may need to work on your attitude and show more respect to them. Be ready to appreciate him or her when they do things for you, no matter how little.
Praise and compliment them always, and use gifts if possible. All these are to show them that you respect them. When you give them positive feedback for their support, they will feel happy to do more for you.
7. Talk To Your Close Pal: If you have a good friend you can rely on, it will be nice to let them know what you are going true. Indeed, you don’t have to bring an outsider into your marital issue, but it is good to tell your best friend.
They are the ones who will share you up and remind you that you are not alone in that situation and that you are not what your spouse said you are. That’s a good step to take when you have seen the signs of disrespect in your marriage.
8. Consider Getting Help: This will be a good time for you to see marriage experts to help you get your relationship back. Look for marriage therapists who specialize in helping with any troubled marriage.
I have written a post to help you know the best marriage therapists to work with, read it here.
Conclusion:
I have shown you some signs of disrespect in marriage you will be on the lookout for in your marriage. Read this post without skipping any, so you don’t miss any important signs.