You have been in many relationships that ended just like that and you are wondering why it is happening to you. Welcome to my latest blog post.
In this post, I will show you so many turn offs in a relationship you will avoid completely in your next relationship.
Well, you are not alone in this. Thousands of people have gone through this before, even me; I learned it the hard way, but am here to save you the stress.
Nothing hurts like when you think you have found the right partner: you know both of you love each other, but suddenly you can’t find your partner again, no call, no visiting and not even picking up your calls.
Check out these Here are 70 Devastating Turn Offs In A Relationship, probably, you are unknowingly falling short of any of them.
As you read this post, you will learn how to attract any man to marry you fast, turn-offs for women, and guys, and examples of turn offs in a relationship.
What Are Turn Offs in A Relationship And Why Does It Matter To Know Them Now?
Turn-offs are those traits, characters, or attitudes that when displayed by someone around you, you feel uncomfortable staying close to them again.
They are called turn-offs because no matter who you love or cherish those persons with such traits or characters, your mood will immediately be switched once the character is displayed.
In a relationship, most of those characters, traits, or attitudes are what make your relationship mood happy and sad in certain situations.
After seeing these 41 turn offs in a relationship, you are sure to have a relationship that will last longer and result in marriage.
Let’s dive in now.
41 Devastating Turn Offs In A Relationship:
To make this easier for you to read, I have categorized these turn-offs into 6 groups- Honesty and trust, communication, romance and intimacy, lack of respect, emotional availability, and personal growth and independence.
Note also, that “one man’s food is another man’s poison.” That means that the turn-offs may not be the same in every relationship.
However, having ideas of what the common turn-offs in a relationship look like will give you an edge in your current, or new relationship.
Communication:
1. Ineffective Communication: Lack of good communication is one of the biggest turn offs in any relationship.
The reason is that if you can’t express yourself, your needs, and your moods to your partner, then your partner won’t know how or where to start dealing with your requests.
That will make you feel unheard, while your partner will feel unease whenever you are conversing with them. In most cases, ineffective communication may result in quarrels or arguments.
If your spouse is hot-tempered, he/she will always avoid anything that will light them up, and you will feel disconnected, a sense of emotional distance will also set in.
2. Constant Interruption During Your Conversation: During any conversation, paying close attention without interruption is what describes good communication.
Everybody wants to be heard. Interruptions mean they are not valued or heard.
Over time, this will cause resentment and it may also diminish the quality of your conversations, which will affect your emotional connection negatively.
3. When You Constantly Ignore Or Dismiss Your Partner’s Opinions: It hurts when your partner finds out that you don’t give a dam to whatever opinion they bring to the table.
That shows a lack of respect and it undermines the foundation of good communication, which is the backbone of every relationship.
When you neglect your partner’s opinion, they feel frustrated and insignificant as well. It also creates emotional distance, which leads to the failure of relationships. That’s what you don’t want to happen, isn’t it?
4. Being Extremely Critical: Constructive criticism is not bad, it helps one grow. However, criticism or being extremely critical is bad and it is one of the worst turn-offs in a relationship to avoid because it erodes trust and intimacy.
Excessive criticism in a relationship creates negativity and hinders open communication.
If you or your partner is part of the criticism game, it can make you feel attacked or unappreciated, that a big destroyer of emotional connection.
Unconstructive feedback and consistent fault-finding can cause resentment, and can also make it challenging for you and your partner to build a good relationship.
Balance communication, support, and understanding are what you need to have a positive and lasting connection.
5. Disagreements And Stonewalling: This is yet one of the turn offs in a relationship to watch closely.
Stonewalling is the type of communication where one partner shuts down to avoid dealing with an issue. This a quick relationship destroyer, so be on the lookout for that.
This shutdown during disagreements causes emotional distance and makes the other partner feel neglected and frustrated.
Stonewalling and disagreements obstruct healthy resolution and leave many issues unresolved.
Effective communication is important and it helps you to understand and connect with your partner, stonewalling hinders that, over time, everyone feels dissatisfied and disengaged in the relationship.
6. Excessive Mockery Or Sarcasm: What would you want to achieve when you mock your spouse? Sarcasm and misery are big turn-offs in a relationship and you must avoid this by all means if you want to have a successful relationship.
It creates a negative atmosphere in a relationship and it sniffs intimacy and trust out of any relationship.
Excessive sarcasm and mockery will make your partner comfortable during communication, it also creates a sense of ridicule.
Your partner feels undervalued and misunderstood, which will result in no genuine connection and resentment in the long run.
Whenever your partner becomes uncomfortable sharing their thought or opinions in your relationship, it hinders emotional vulnerability and there will no longer be mutual respect.
Lack of respect leads to dissatisfaction and therefore divorce.
7. Using Offensive Language: Watch the language you are using when you are conversing with your partner or during heated moments. Remember, that words go straight to the heart and it is hard to delete from there.
Offensive language as the name implies those language that will offend your partner when they hear that from someone they love.
Hurtful words as I said earlier will linger and it will impact your partner’s self-esteem and general well-being.
If you constantly use those words in your relationship, your partner won’t like to come close to you anymore and you will love him/her just because of that.
8. Honesty And Trust. Lies And Dishonesty: Lies and dishonesty are another relationship killer you will avoid by all means. One thing about lying and dishonesty is that you will say more lies to cover your first lie.
The worst thing about that is that one day all the lies will be known and your partner won’t like it the truth is that if he/she has been truthful and honest to you, the trust will greatly be affected; if trust dies in any relationship, the relationship is dead too.
9. Broken Promises: Either people are ignorant of this or they thought it was just being smart, but broken promises kill a relationship faster than anything else. Any promise you refuse to keep has made you a liar and has reduced your trust bank account by one.
For example, when you tell your partner that will take them for lunch and fail too many times, that will make them not believe you again even when you mean to fulfill it this time.
That is one of the turn offs in a relationship, so if you don’t want to destroy the trust you took time to build, stop giving empty promises.
10. Being Secretive About Personal Matters: A Relationship is all about having and sharing things in common, including your needs, ideas, joy, and hurts. Your partner should be the first to know about whatever you are doing or going through.
Being secretive about your matters means you don’t trust your partner and you do not need help from them. That will create a disconnect, communication barrier, and feeling of lack of inclusion in your relationship.
11. Being Jealous For No Reason: Jealousy is good when it is for a good reason such as not wanting to lose your partner for any reason. It is bad when it is unfounded.
Such jealousy will create an atmosphere of tension and doubt and your partner will feel suffocated in that atmosphere. If you indulge in that, you may be scaring him/her away from you.
12. Flirting With Others: It is not good to flirt with other people when you are in a relationship. Relationships should be one at a time. Having multiple dates or people you flirt with will create emotional distance, that’s is because of divided attention.
It also shows you as not being committed, this will make your partner feel inadequate and neglected. Constant flirting also leads to jealousy, insecurity, and a sense of betrayal.
A protracted flirting will cause significant damage to the foundation of your relationship. To avoid that, you have to learn not to overstep boundaries and don’t deplete your trust.
13. Lack of Transparency: This means you hide everything from your partner even why they are open and share all with you.
This is one of the biggest turn offs in a relationship. It results in a communication barrier. Transparency builds that bridge to emotional vulnerability.
14. Cheating And Infidelity: You and I know what cheating can do Ina a relationship. It has destroyed many of them and a lot more are going through pains and heartbreak after an Infidelity.
When you cheat on your partner, it shows that they are incapable of satisfying you, it also means a breach of trust.
Cheating is another act that turns off in a relationship. This is because your partner won’t be happy that he/she is sharing with you.
15. You Don’t Respect Boundaries: Boundaries in a relationship signify where your power ends and where your spouse’s power begins. If your partner made you know their boundaries, they want you to respect that, if not, there will be problems.
Your partner may not thrown in the towel the first time you overstepped his boundaries, but he/she won’t want to stay if you do that over and over again.
16. Betrayal Of Trust: You are an ardent betrayal of trust and you think your partner will love you for that.
Trust is the backbone of every relationship, so if you have grade one in trust betrayal, you also have set some great turn-offs in a relationship, and yours for that matter.
17. Rudeness: Rudeness is yet one of the most important turn offs in a relationship and I will tell you why.
When you don’t have regard for anybody, a time will come when you start disregarding your partner and their family members. No one wants a ride partner.
18. You Are Manipulative: Manipulation means having the power to make someone do things to favor you or your desires.
If you know how to influence or control your partner’s thoughts or actions or know how to make them do or go where you please, that is called manipulation and nobody loves that.
Get ready to love your relationship if you don’t give up.
Emotional Availability:
19. You Don’t Care About Your Your Partner’s Feelings: Emotional invalidation is one of the major turn offs in a relationship. It means neglecting, not validating, denying, not respecting, or dismissing your Partner’s feelings.
Not caring about your partner’s feelings will make them feel as though their emotional experience isn’t right or that their emotions are either insignificant or unacceptable.
Nobody wants that in a relationship and it will turn your partner off if it persists.
20. Being Emotionally Distance: Emotional distance means that you have lost the spark that brought you together in the first place. This could be because of unresolved issues and a communication breakdown.
It is important to quickly find a way to connect back with each other, or else one of you may see no reason to remain in the relationship. That also means separation.
21. Holding Grudges: If you feel comfortable holding grudges against your spouse, you are causing another problem along the way. If you don’t want your partner to feel unsafe in your relationship, stop that now.
22. Inability To Express Emotions: This will affect your communication and your relationship entirely. If you find it hard to Express Emotions, it will also be hard for you to solve the emotional needs of your partner.
Your partner in the long run will feel not taken care of, and neglected. It is another thing that can break your relationship.
23. Constant Mood Swing: Mood Swing is the list of the biggest turn offs in a relationship. If cause so much rifts which you may not know.
It will make your partner not know the best ways to handle or communicate with you, because one moment you are happy, the next you are angry.
The worst of it all is that nobody knows what caused the shift. It will make your partner feel guilty all the time.
Romance And Intimacy:
24. Neglecting Physical Intimacy: Physical Intimacy is an essential part of every relationship and it is what shows the level of emotional connection between you and your partner.
Hugging, touching, kissing, and having sex with your partner helps to release an important chemical called oxytocin.
You can read this article to know more. However, when it’s lacking, your partner may seek that outside since you can’t provide it. You know what that means.
25. Poor Personal Hygiene: This can be one of the significant turn offs in a relationship, because it may lead to discomfort and affect the overall attraction between you and your partner.
Not taking proper care of yourself can create a bad impression on your partner about how dirty you are and it will affect your closeness and intimacy with your partner.
26. Being Distracted During Intimate Moments: A sex therapist said that you need to take care of any distractions before your intimate moments.
So, always keep your gadgets aside and concentrate until you are done. Your partner won’t like it when you are always distracted. That alone can turn them off.
27. Ignoring Your Partner’s Sexual Needs: Sex is one of the things couples share in their relationship and it is the most essential thing that keeps a relationship stronger.
You must have sex, whether you want it or not especially when your partner needs it. If you refuse them sex, they may seek it outside.
28. Withhold Sex As A Form Of Punishment: If you withhold sex with your partner as a punishment then you are trying to scare them away.
Lack Of Respect:
29. Disregarding Your Partner’s Value: Disregarding your partner’s values means neglecting or not being interested in their priorities, beliefs, or principles.
It manifests as a lack of consideration, insensitivity, or you are always out to counter what they hold dear. That will hurt them and make them avoid you by all means.
30. Disrespectful Behaviors In Public: Your partner will feel disrespected, and humiliated if you disregard him in public.
Take for instance they ask you to shout and fight people when you are together and they can’t stop you: it’s disrespectful and one of the biggest turn offs in a relationship.
31. Name Calling Or Insulting: This is a form of verbal abuse that destroys your partner’s self-image over time and also destroys your relationships.
It erodes trust, patience, and communication in a relationship. In the long run, it breaks intimacy and makes your partner start keeping distance.
32. Belittling Their Achievements: Not noticing and commending your partner’s achievement, whether big or small is a big tool that can cause turn offs in a relationship. Successful partners celebrate and commend each other’s achievements.
33. Lack Of Appreciation: It is good to appreciate your partner for every little or big win. It is not easy when your partner finds out that you don’t care about those gifts they bought for you, or for helping you get the children from school. Learn to be appreciative at all times.
34. Comparisons: Don’t compare your spouse to anyone. Everybody is unique and so won’t have the same characteristics.
It hurts when your partner sees you comparing them with either your next-door neighbor or friend. They may prefer to stay away instead.
35. Always Talking About Your Ex: Your relationship with your ex has gone, that’s why you are in a fresh relationship now.
If your ex’s name is always in your mouth, that will piss your current partner off. Therefore, don’t call them or compare them with your partner.
36. Trying To Be Who You Are Not: Being real is what makes a relationship last. Trying to be who you are not just to impress your partner will earn you no better gift than to lose your partner. That shows that if you can hide who you are, then you can’t be trusted.
37. You Talk Too Much: It is good to be a good communicator, it is also good to know how to talk to keep your relationship lively at all times.
However, it is not good to talk too much. People know that anyone who talks too much can’t keep secrets, and they want to keep clear from them.
Independence And Personal Growth:
38. When You Are Controlling: Relationship works when there is unity and teamwork. No one wants to be controlled.
If you have a controlling attitude, you may think you are being the man or woman of the house, but you are causing great damage to your partner and your relationship.
Wanting to have your way all the time can be one of the major turn-offs in a relationship so avoid it.
39. Desiring To Change Them: This is another big turn-off you should avoid. Don’t think you can change him/her. Commit it to prayers. That’s the only weapon you have.
40. No Ambition: Everyone wants to be with a partner who is always on the move to become better in life, irrespective of what they want to become- road cleaner, or night guard.
No one likes a lazy partner. Be ambitious so you enjoy your relationship.
41. Not Respecting Their Alone Time: Having time together is good for a relationship’s success. Having private time is also required in a relationship, and you should respect each other time alone.
Your partner will feel suffocated when you don’t give them breathing space and that may be the reason for leaving you.
Conclusion:
If you want to have a successful relationship, then avoid these major turn offs in a relationship.
There is no need to hope to have the best relationship while you are unknowingly causing harm to yourself. This post is to make you aware of things to avoid in your relationship.