Now that you are ready to get married, I will save you from making those common mistakes in choosing the right partner for marriage. That being said, now let me hold you by hand and show you all that you need to know about how to choose the right partner faster.
With the growing number of divorce in the world today, one needs to be careful in choosing the right partner to marry. Many people see choosing the right partner as a rocket science, probably because they have seen some relationships that go up and down, and you wonder that with the right partner, such won’t happen.
Well, you may be right somehow; however, choosing the right partner won’t guarantee that you won’t have challenges in your relationship, but you will have minimal challanges.
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That’s why everyone is looking to choose the right partner; everyone needs someone who will stand with him/her up during hard times; someone who will cheer you up when you are falling: that’s what the right partner stands for.
Thankfully, there are varieties you can do to be sure you choose the right husband or wife, and I will show you in a moment from now.
Let’s dive In.
15 Effective steps in choosing the right partner for marriage now.
Pay special attention to this section. It is very important that you understand exactly what to look for in that man or woman you want to marry. So what are they? How would you know if someone would make a good wife or husband? I have selected a few characteristics you should look for when you are about to choose your life partner.
Here they are:
1) Know What You Want:
Your first step to choosing the right partner is to know what you know or the type of man or woman you want to get married to. Knowing what you want in a spouse will make your search easier.
According to Michelle Toglia from Bustle, ” almost 20 percent of participants who said they’re single and dating said their biggest dating goal is to figure out exactly what it is they’re looking for in a partner.’ But that is the first step you must take. The question now is: how would you figure out what you want in a spouse?
- Understand Who You Really Are: Ask yourself who you are, what you like, or don’t like. Are you a sharp or shy person, active or sedate, sexually active or not, a loner or people’s person?
How you answer this question will determine how well you will choose the right partner. So take your time to understand you, because it will lead you to where to find your match.
- Ask Others: Another way to figure out what you are in a spouse is to ask people around. Nawadays, it is always so easy to get any information you want; you either search the internet or ask people. There are resources everywhere, so take advantage of it. The closest resource you have to know what you want in a spouse is to ask your friends and family. These people want the best for you, and they will go to any length to help you make the right choices. Therefore, seek their advice and counsels before stepping out.
- Be very patient to get advice from them. They won’ t want to mislead you.
- Take Notice Of The Redflags: Another important step to be observant as you date; you must see some red flags that will make you either quit or continue; the trick here is to try and follow your intuitions.
- Take Time To Recover:- Finally, if you want to know what you want in a spouse, it is to let go of the past. This is exclusively for those who lost a relationship. If you were dumped, or you are still hurt by the experiences from your failed relationship, take your time to recover from the pains before going into another relationship. Also, try to dump the baggages so you can move forward.
2) Love Yourself:-
Now that you’ve known what you want in a spouse, your next step in choosing the right partner for marriage should be to love who you are. Unfortunately, this is almost one of the hardest steps when you want to choose the right partners. But if you give this a shot, I bet you will succeed.
So what does it mean to love yourself? It means to recognize your strength and your weakness, and then go ahead and love whatever they are
Understand that every part of you is valuable; use affirmation words to empower yourself more. Think about what you know how to do best, and find out all that needs to be improved on. The most important thing is that you know how to find out the boundaries between the good and the bad about you, because no one else will.
Until you really know how to appreciate and love yourself, it will be hard for other people to love you, and you always have doubts about others.
3) Experience Is The Best Teacher:
Your next step for choosing the right partner to marry is to learn from your past experiences. Experience, they say, ‘is the best teacher.” What happened in your last relationship? Why did it crumble? How did you or your partner contribute to the failure?
Knowing all of these is vital to your future. We learn every day and try to learn something from that relationship, so you can amend your new relationship. Now that you have learned from your past relationship, start adjusting to the better. Avoid all the things that contributed to your first failure and inculcate new ideas that will help you grow well.
Always have in mind that doing what you did in the past will not help your new relationship; therefore, bring the new you into your relationship.
4) Never Choose Your Partner Under Fear:
One of the mistakes you should not make is choosing your partner out of fear. What do I mean by fear? You probably thought you’ll never find someone like that again, or you are afraid of remaining unmarried forever if you miss the first opportunity; that’s a lie: the truth is that “good things never end.’
It is better to wait or remain single than rushing into a relationship where you are enduring life instead of enjoying it. Making decisions under fear will keep you in everlasting confusion and anxiety, and it’s not worth it.
5) Have The Right Intention:
What are your intentions for getting married now? Is it because your friends are getting married, or are your family and friends pressuring? If those are your intentions for getting married. Only the good intentions you have will channel you to the right type of partner. If not, you will make mistakes because you didn’t plan well.
6) Find someone you can easily connect with:
The sixth-step to choosing the right partner is to look for someone you can easily connect with. You will be happier in a relationship where you are free with your partner, that is where you are not: that’s why you should look for an easy to go and easy to be with a partner.
Communication is a vital thing in every relationship. If you have an easy to connect with a partner, you’ll not find it hard to communicate effectively, and your relationship will be much better and you will enjoy doing things together.
7) Find Someone You Can Comfortably Be Around With:
Anybody, you can’t feel great, comfortable, and secure to be around with; won’t make a good partner to you. Choosing a partner that you won’t feel 100% yourself will make you feel frustrated and insecure forever.
A good relationship and partner is the only place where you are provided with that comfortable and safe place to be without placing a mask on. Therefore, put that into consideration when you are choosing the right partner for marriage to avoid regrets at last.
10) Choose Someone Who Makes You Laugh:
When you are choosing the right partner to marry, look for someone with a good sense of humour. This is someone that will make you laugh away all your sorrows and hurt. In life and especially in marriage, there are lot of things that will threaten your joy; they are inevitable. It is only a humorous partner that can make you relax a bit.
At the end of every day’s struggle, you will want to go home and relax, you won’t want to get home to that spouse with tight face, you’ll need someone who will remain glum; a cheerful and jovial partner will make you feel at home and better once more.
Don’t skip this part, as you are choosing your partner.
9) Be You And Nobody Else:
Choosing the right partner to marry will be very easy and successful for you when you didn’t change who you are in order to attract your new partner. Many people pretend to be who they are, not when they are searching for whom to marry.
Most of them will hide their characters and some others will change their look completely, just to lure the partner into accepting them for the relationship. That’s the wrong thing to do.
Rmain who you are and don’t become Mona Lisa because you thought everybody wants to marry beautiful or handsome person. Those things don’t matter much in a relationship, though it’s part of it, but everyone prefers a self-confident man or woman to date or marry.
The fact is that when you disguise yourself or character to attract someone, the other person would have done the same to attract you too, which won’t augur well for the relationship in the future.
Be yourself and remain resolute. Whatever will be, will be; if your new partner won’t love or want you the way you are, then you are not meant to be together in the first place… Be on the lookout for your right partner and forget whoever refused to like you for who you are.
10) Keep Your Checklist Aside For Sometime:
One of the first advice you will hear from people when you tell them you are choosing the right partner to marry is to write the list of what you want in a spouse. To some extent, your checklist may be the best help for you, but in some cases it will be another problem to face.
I will advise you to keep the checklist aside, and concentrate on God’s plan for your near perfect partner. If you depend on that list, you can miss God’s plan for you. Believe me when I told you that it has never been that easy to find a perfect “checklist partner,” when you think that you have tick all on your checklist at last, it will make you the most important caution to the air, and then disregard the none important qualities.
The best relationship is such that there is strong emotional compatibility. What matters is to marry who God provides for you and not what your list provides for you.
11) Be On The Lookout For The Commonest Qualities:
There are some common qualities that are always apparent in that man or woman that will make a good spouse. They are:
- Generosity. Etc.
Anybody that possesses these qualities will be a good partner to you. Don’t miss that type of person, but don’t also rush into marriage with him or her. Also, look for other criteria like – a good singer, good swimmer, caring person, sense of humor, and other things. If you get this person at last, you have hit a jackpot.
12) Be The Right Partner Everybody Wants:
When choosing the right partner to marry, it is important that you become the type of person everybody wants to be around with. People will not marry you unless they come close to you and find you attractive to them.
The question is: what happens when people come around you for the first time? They run away or want to remain with you? When people find it hard to stay with you fora long time, something is wrong; so change that immediately. Everybody wants to be with an easy going person.
Like attract the other. If you are a good and interesting person to be with, you are also likely to attract someone interesting to your life. Therefore, start mending your character or self from now and watch what happens in the next few weeks or months.
13) Spend Enough Time Together:
You’ll only know your prospective partner well by being close to him/her. This is why you should plan to meet with each other at will, in order to know each other. When you spend time with each other, it will be easier for you to learn who and what they like or don’t like: you will also be able to know how compatible you are with each other.
So, in this process of choosing the right partner to marry, never be afraid of meetings. Meet at different days, hours, alnd places. Just spend some quality times each time you have the oppurtunity to be together.
14) You need someone who will Honour You And You Love Him:
God gave the husband and wife very different tasks that will make their relationship succeed and the tasks must be done the way God wants it so you can have the success He want’s you to have.
Therefore, as you are choosing the right partner, choose a man who will love you and the woman that will honour you, just as the Lord commanded in Ephesians 5. If you follow the steps and God’s directives, you” ll not make mistakes.
15) Honesty And Trust Are Also Important:
Trust and honesty are two things you can’t joke with in any relationship; any relationship that lacks it can never stand
The only way to make sure the culture of trust and honesty never lacks in your home, but you can only achieve that from the very first time of choosing the right partner. Concentrate of knowing how trustworthy or honesty your prospective spouse is before deciding to marry him/her.
You know that marriage isn’t a child’s play, so take all that I have written here seriously, so you don: blame yourself later. Choosing the right partner to marry should be done with carefulness, and I have listed so many steps to guide you. Below is the recap of the ways of choosing your Mr and Mrs. Right.
- Know What You Want.
- Love Yourself.
- Learn from your experiences.
- Don’t choose under fear.
- Have the right intentions
- Find someone you can easily connect with.
- Be with someone who makes you laugh.
- Be yourself always.
- Observer the commonest qualities.
- Also be the right partner.
- Spend enough time with each other.
- Find someone you love and who respects you.
- Look for an honest partner.
Follow the list carefully, and remember to invite me to your wedding when things work out well for you.