Hey! If you are reading this post now, then it is because you are searching to know how to be a supportive spouse; welcome! In this post, I will show you a few steps you should take to achieve that in a short while.
The question is: what makes a supportive spouse? And what are the signs of a supportive spouse? We will take time to answer all these questions in this article.
Let’s dive in;
What is a supportive partner?
A supportive partner may mean different things to different people, so there is no general meaning to what a supportive partner means. However, having a supportive partner means that you have a partner who is always there for you, through thick and thin.
The fact is that we human beings, being emotional beings too are always in need of someone to love, respect, care and support us. Anyone who can provide those four things to us can be our supporter, and we value such a person well.
Our family and friends may be there to provide such for us, but in marriage or relationships, we want that special one in our life to fill that gap, and frankly, we feel so bad when they don’t.
Whenever we receive good support from our loved ones in our lowest moment, it boosts our confidence and mood. We also feel at home whenever we know that our supportive partner is around.
Any relationship will succeed when each partner understands how to support the other. Meanwhile, many people are not too sure of what to do to be a supportive partner. If you are who I described here, then congratulations, I will show you how soon.
Below are a few characteristics of a supportive spouse.
Characteristics Of A Supportive Partner.
15 Actionable Steps To Become A Supportive Partner Today.
- They Have Time For You: This may sound ridiculous to you, but it is actually complicating. The truth is that someone who really love you and support you will love for who you are and not who he/she wants you to be. If your partner is such that always wants you to be like someone else, he may not be that supportive, else he/she noticed that you are treading that partner. The supportive partner will will support the person you are at the moment,and if you have a dream to become better, they will also support you full time.
- Someone That Listens: Any supportive partner must be a good listener and they will hear whatever you want to say before trying to fix whatever needs to be fixed. They won’t interrupt you when your are talking, when you make mistakes, they wait for the best time to correct your mistakes.
- They Have Time For You: Fiala said that ” before a spouse can feel supported, the partner must go out of their ways to add more values to your relationship and you. They make every time they spend with you a quality one without distractions.
- They Support You Even When You Failed: The supportive partner is also that partner that stands firm at your back not minding your mistakes. They will also support you when you are not on the same page with him/her.
- They Do Everything To Make You Happy: If your partner allows you to watch SeaWorld channel and forfeit his cherished stations, it is not a sign of weakness but a big sign that they support you.
Welcome to this section of the post. Here we will be looking at the steps you should take to become a good support wife or a supportive husband, boyfriend, or girlfriend.
I have selected a few actionable steps for you to follow to become that supportive Partner you’ve always wished to be. See them below.
1) Believe In Your Partner:
A good step to be a supportive
Partner is to trust and believe in your partner. Believing in your partner gives them the courage to be and do their best. Your words as a loving partner can go a long way in your partner’s life, especially when you said them with openness and sincerity.
You don’t have to read the extraordinary script to achieve that, just a sincere appreciation for that little thing he or she did or just letting them know that they are the best thing that has happened to you.
You can try that now and see how your partner will feel about you. it doesn’t take much to win your partner’s confidence and live again.
2) Be Understanding:
This is one of the best qualities you must possess as you work to be a Supportive Partner. When your partner sees you as an understanding partner, he or she knows that you always see things differently.
And that shows that you understood your partner when they didn’t come home early, as usual, forget to bring the children from school, or cancel the lunch date plan.
Such wouldn’t cause arguments or fights, because you know that your partner respects and cherish you, even though they have disappointed you again and again. Now, to be more supportive, don’t assume things, learn to be open to all your spouse’s ideas and suggestions.
3) Be And Emotionally Available Partner:
Another great way to be a supportive wife or husband is to be emotionally available, which simply means to be truly ready to speak your feelings, be vulnerable, and be ready to face your fear, work it out, and move forward.
4) They Like To Apologize When Neccessary:
Apologizing to your partner when necessary is one of the greatest confliction strategies that keeps any relationship stronger. The supportive partners understand the secret and never stopped using it.
They are ready to say the word “sorry’ even when they are not the cause of the problem, not because they are weak, but because they are supportive and because want you to know that you can trust them and you can feel safer with them too.
5) Be A Good Listener:
As a prospective supportive man or woman, boyfriend or girlfriend, you must be ready to be a patient listener to your partner. A patient listener is a partner who pays attention to the partner while he or she is venting their displeasures or joy.
Don’t be In haste to stop them from talking, and don’t try correcting them even when they are not saying it rightly. Y
our spouse must feel secure coming to you when they need support from you, or when they need a shoulder to cry on. That’s how a supportive Partner shows his or her support.
6) Always Understand When It Is Time To Step In:
Most time, being a supportive partner doesn’t mean you should be everywhere every time; it means you must be observant to know when to either step in or leave a space.
As a supportive boyfriend, your female partner may need you at that very point when she is in the midst of a serious task hoping that someone offers to help: don’t overlook those moments, be quick to step in immediately; that will relieve and make her love you more.
If you are the supportive girlfriend, he may need you to step in those times he is very down in the spirit for some words of encouragement. Stepping at the right time is what ignites the supportive magic.
7) Learn To Show Appreciation:
How do you use to react when your partner did something for you, fix that kitchen tap, bought flowers for you, or take you?
Your expression shows you didn’t like them: you wanted something else and not flowers, it was his duty to fix the kitchen tap, so there is no need for appreciation.
Well, that may be true, but if you want to be a supportive partner, you must learn to appreciate your partner, no matter what they did. Praise him for that little achievement, and praise her for preparing that wonderful dinner.
Praising your partner will give them the zeal to do more, and it will also motivate them to be the best they could.
8) Be A Positive Thinker:
If you want to be a better partner, then the last thing you will yield yourself to is negativity. B
eing negative bring stress to you and when the stress overwhelms your relationship for a long time, it will cause a disconnection and initiate tension, destroy your joy, sniff your marriage of the peace you strived so much to build.
To avoid this from happening to you and your relationship, you must know how to be positive about it.
Do not let the negative vibes gain ground in your life and marriage; neutralize them by shifting your perspective a bit, and use those challenges as opportunities.
You can do so by interpreting the negative vibes with positive thoughts and actions. Use words of affirmation to create positive realities for your relationship and life. It won’t be that easy though, but consistent action will make you achieve it.
9) Give Your Partner Space To Do Their Thing:
Supporting your partner is not always about helping them physically, sometimes, the type of support your partner wants that moment is that you just allow them to be and do their own thing.
In other words, you can be supportive by stepping aside sometimes and allowing your significant other to take their decisions, steps, make their choices and even be who they want to be without judging them.
10) Improve Your Communication Skills:
“Words are powerful.” Knowing how to talk and what to say at a particular point in time is a good move to getting a successful marriage. T
his is because the type of words you speak to your partner will make them feel secure or uneasy about you and your relationship.
The right words you speak when your partner is battling with depression, or stress can cause a big change in their lives and the wrong words will make things worst. Therefore, choose what to say at every particular moment.
If you are not sure, then search the internet for how to improve your communication skills, you will get good results.
Write the words down and rehearse them so that it becomes part of you. It will look absurd when you are talking to your spouse with your scrips in your hand.
11) Don’t Assume Things:
Unnecessary assumptions will not work when you want to be a good marriage partner. Assumption will destroy your relationship than building it. Trust your partner and believe whatever they tell you.
Do not be quick to assume things, because your assumption may not be true. Even if you are not comfortable with their decisions or agree with their choices, it is not alright to jump to a conclusion immediately, that’s not a sign of being supportive.
The supportive Partners trust instead of assuming things that are not necessary.
12) Remind Them Of Your Love:
Reassuring your partner about your love for them is another way of becoming a better partner. All you need to do is to make them feel at home and secure. When your partner feels at home with you, they are also sure they have your support too.
Don’t assume that your partner knows that you love him/her, you’ve got to demonstrate it through your words or actions. This step will be more effective whenever you know that they are in a terrible situation; at that point, just look him or her in the eyes, then tell them how much you love them and then ask for permission to help.
13) Feel Free To Ask Questions.
Check if you have questions that need to be answered, if yes, then feel free to ask immediately. Again, ask your partner what he/she wants at a point in time. Asking questions will help you understand the type of support your partner craves for.
They may just wish to be alone or have other things on their mind that you are not aware of; when you ask questions, the answers you get will help you know what you should do
14) Be Physically Available.
Availability is another recipe for a successful relationship. How available are you to your spouse? Are more available for your job than you are to your family and spouse?
I found out that many people, especially men prefer to spend time outside than they do with their spouses. Every couple needs time to be with each other, so they will know each other better.
Being together most time helps you to understand your partner’s needs, so you can know how best to help solve the problems. Does your partner want sex at that time? Be present to provide that. It will be of no importance to deny sex to your partner
15) Always Be Empathetic.
Make sure that before ever you judge your spouse or blame them, you put yourself in their shoes. For example, if your partner feels weak to prepare your lunch because she passed through so much stress getting back from work, or your husband came home straight from work instead of picking the provisions for the store, after staying long hours in the traffic.
Put yourself in their shoes and consider how you will love your partner to feel if you had the same challenges too.
16) Respect You Times Together.
To be a supportive partner, you must spend time together and also respect the times you stay together. Your time together is when you have to talk about the important issues about your relationship, as well as to connect.
So, as you stay with your partner, don’t allow any distractions. Keep your phones and other gadgets at a distance and concentrate on your spouse and whatever they are saying. Doing other things about why your spouse is talking shows your attention is divided. To be a better partner, show your full concentration.
17) Consider Your Partners Point Of View:
Don’t be too fast to judge your partner’s point of view, whether good or bad; try to respect their views because two people can’t have the same opinion for something,
Here is what I mean, let’s say that your partner approached you with the plans of quitting his/ her current job, don’t judge them because you don’t know why they decided until you understand why the sudden change of mind.
By being considerate, your partner will know that you are not an enemy, buy a spouse who wants to be supportive and loving too.
18) Acknowledge All Your Problems.
Acknowledging your problems is one of the ways of being a supportive man or woman. It may be that you have been stressed for so long, being disconnected for a while now, or not being there for each other.
The best thing you can do at this point is to accept that the gap is there between you, and ask your partner if he/she feels the same way. Acknowledging these challenges together will give you the stepping stone to solving the problems.
Don’t stop at finding the same ground for your challenges, get to work at once to get the situation under control. Doing that will show your partner how supportive you are and how ready you are to make g your relationship successful.
19) Use Every Opportunity To Make Your Partner Feel Great.
Your significant other will feel happy to see you washing the dishes, preparing dinner, ironing the clothes, and getting the children ready for school, especially when he/she did it just to provide a respite for them.
20) Physical Affection Is Also Important.
If you haven’t been touching each other, then this is the moment to start. Physical Affection works like a bomb when you want to be a good spouse. I know you may be stressed out after the day’s activities, don’t let it stand in your way
Marriage experts have proved that physical touches can keep couples’ love fire kindled forever. If just smiling can change one’s mindset and make you happy again, the same way, touching each other, cuddling, and kissing are enough to restore intimacy in your relationship.
21) Promise To Be A Team Member.
Partners are supposed to work as a team to make things work in their relationship. If you must be the supportive partner you want to be, you must be a team member of your spouse
Be sure to communicate to your better half that both of you work together to surmount any problem; treasure them of that synergy, it will boost their courage and put a spring to their heels, that’s because they know that someone is behind.
22) Be An Encourager:
You need to be an Encourager to be a supportive spouse, there will always be days of stress, and discouragement, probably due to certain conditions. If you find your partner in such situations, you should be able to calm the situation.
Again, be ready to support and encourage them when they are trying to make a decision. Ask them questions and find a way to lead them to the part that’s closer to where they are going.
Always strive to be the best for him/her, by encouraging them to be the best.
23) Pray For Them:-
This should be the first step to being a better partner. Prayer is the only thing that can change a situation or an individual faster. To be that support your partner’s needs, you must know-how, and when to pray for your better half.
It is not an eye service, but make sure that your partner hears you as you call their names during prayer, hold their hands if possible as you pray. They will know that you are thinking the right thoughts for them when they know that you remember them in your prayers.
24) Remind Them That You Can’t Live Without Them:
Always let your spouse know that they mean everything to you. In the morning when you wake up by his or her side, tell them how beautiful it feels to wake up by their side. Send romantic text messages to them when they are not there with you and be ready to welcome them with a smile after the day’s work.
Then request to know how they spent their days! That will make them know that you care.
25) Be Your Best Too:
As a prospective supportive partner, you should be your very best first before you be the best to someone else. Therefore, do not concentrate so much on being a good partner, but devote time to being your best you.
Things will be easier for you to achieve when you are in your best state of mind and that comes when you are where you want to be. My sincere advice to you is that you work on yourself; develop yourself by reading and learning how to be your best self. Every other thing will come naturally when you become your best you.
Things To Take Away From This Post.
It is better to be a supportive partner, but it is best to be your best self because everything comes naturally as you become a better you. Also, put all that I have written down for you here in this post into action, that’s the only way you can succeed with your plan.
Finally, understand that this is not a quick fix, so don’t expect things to start changing the next day. If you just take your time to work on all that I have said here, you will gradually start seeing results.
I wish to see you succeed and be the best partner in the world. I am your in- house counselor.