Not happy in marriage?: 15 things to do now.

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At some point, most married couples go through a period where one or both are not happy in marriage.

The signs may be subtle or strong, but in any event, recognizing that you are not happy in marriage is the first step towards solving this problem.

Unfortunately, many divorces could have been avoided if the one who is unhappy in marriage takes some action that will lead to overcoming their unhappiness than just getting out of the marriage.

Understandably, feelings of unhappiness can drive someone to make such a change, but the truth is that most marriages grow stronger if they can find a way to deal with their feelings rather than leave.

In this post, I will show you a few things you can do if you are not in marriage.

Let’s jump in.

15 Things to do When You are Not Happy in Marriage.

Here are five steps you can take which will help you overcome your unhappiness and stay in the marriage. Each of these steps will take a bit of courage on your part, but the result is certainly well worth the effort.

1) Identify the Problem:

The first thing to do when you are not happy in marriage is to identify the reason you are not happy. What exactly is it that is making your marriage unhappy? You cannot communicate with your spouse unless you have a very strong idea of what it is.

So take some time to self-examination yourself or your marriage, to reveal just what is causing your feelings.

You will be amazed that the problems aren’t much to make you sad.

2) Communicate Your Feelings from Your Point of View:

Don’t assume that when you are not unhappy in marriage, that your spouse should know about it. Most spouses do know that something is wrong, but perhaps they didn’t want to verbalize it.

By communicating how you feel, it puts both of you on the same page. However, what you say should be from your point of view and not accusatory or inflaming such as, “I get angry when you do X.” when it should be, “I feel sad when I see you do X.” That tone allows your partner to engage and respond, not be pushed away.

While you cannot force your partner to change, you can focus on what could be done to help rectify the situation.

You can start with something as small as “I’m going to hug you before I leave for work each day.”

Such small gestures can add up over time to bring more happiness to the marriage.

3) Cut Down on Distractions:

It is during these stressful times that we tend to get distracted because we are tired of feeling this way.

While such thoughts are understandable, they will pull you away from working on the problem itself. Instead, you should be placing your relationship first and ditching the things that are pulling you away.

The point is to look for those distractions and discard them from your life, so you can concentrate on solving the problems.

4) Start Connecting Again:

One of the reasons for unhappiness in marriage is the lack of connection. At this point, you should find the means to get the connections back again.

Look at the common grounds to connect. It might be by taking showers together, eating, taking a walk, and doing other things that could bring you together.

It may not be easy, but if you are determined to stay put even when you are not happy in marriage, you must make up your mind to make things work again.

5) Have More Time With Each Other:

The connection won’t work effectively if you don’t spend time with each other.

Therefore your first step should be to have more time to spend together.

Yes, I know that the daily activities won’t give you space for that, but if you must succeed in your relationship, you must create that time.

Your family time is the best time to share and trash anything that is killing your relationship.

The more you share your mind, the better things pending problems are identified and fixed.

Try that from today and you will be amazed by the results.

6) Detach Yourself Sometimes:

In as much as spending time together makes you closer, detaching from each other also gives you room to be happy again.

Detecting will give each of your reasons to be yourselves.

You are also free from those things that would have made you unhappy when you are together.

So, when things get out of hand, have a space for yourself and think of a better way to restore sanity in your relationship.

7) Be Positive About Everything:

It is possible to be overly negative in your dealings with all that is going on in your relation, but that will never solve its problems.

Studies show that ” the more positive you think, the more positive your life will be.” It is “the power of attraction at work.”

Being positive when you are not happy in marriage is not easy, but the truth is that it is far better than basking in the euphoria of worries.

Worries will ignite more pains for you, but positiveness will help you get better over time.

The positive mindset makes you see things another way: that also prompts you to forgive easily.

8) Now Start Improving Yourself:

The next way to do if you are not happy in marriage is to start self-improving yourself.

You may need to work on yourself so your thinkings and actions will align with what you intend to be in the future.

Engaging in self-improvement will you improve your self-esteem and worth, so it is not a wrong act.

So, think of those things you will do to make you happy. What exercise will reduce your stress and how would you discard those thoughts that are making you mad?

Also, get new clothes if possible, change your diet if you &ave to. But, start working on yourself on the daily basis.

9) Keep Pushing Forward Until You Win:

Do everything you know if you wish to be happy in an unhappy relationship.

If it means going the extra mile, do so. Just keep pushing until there’s a breakthrough. One day the happiness you crave will come.

However, when you give up too soon, you will remain unhappy ever after.

10) Get Your Social Life Back:

If you are not happy in your relationship, I recommend you to build up your social life: you can be happy relating with some friends and other members of your family.

Go on special dates with friends and learn to treat yourself to good things too.

Start building friends if you don’t have enough. These are the ones that will make you smile sometimes to forget your sorrow.

11) Get Professional Help:

A marriage therapist or couple counselor can provide a path towards pulling the marriage back together. A professional brings an outside viewpoint and can show you ways of communicating better with your spouse.

This can bring both of you closer together so that you can be happy in the marriage again.

Being unhappy in a marriage is a sure sign of something being wrong. The more quickly you recognize the problem and take action, the better and happier you’ll be in the long run.


There are lots of things you can engage in to make yourself happy in an unhappy relationship. I have written some of the points to guide you.

These points will work only if you choose to remain in your relationship until things become better.

If you feel you can’t endure it, then decide on your next line of action.

However, things can work out again if you can try a little bit more, before giving up.

Aik: AIK UCHEGBU is a writer and an authority in anything that matters about marriage and how to build it successfully. His followers have been greatly enhanced by his findings. You will not be disappointed by coming to this site.