In as much as many marriage experts believe that couples must sleep together, to live together, there are certain conditions that may require that you have a sleep divorce. The question is: when should you bed divorce? In this article, I will show you when it’s best for you to sleep divorce, as well as how to sleep divorce the right way.
But, what is sleep divorce?
Sleep divorce simply happens when a couple chooses to sleep apart, so as to get a good sleep at night. This may mean sleeping in separate rooms or at a separate bed.
Example: Maybe one of the couples is having a sleep disorder like snoring, which usually results from “obstructing sleep apnea, and it’s impacting the other couples’ health negatively, causing sex dysfunction and sometimes cause ” marital spats.’
Then the couple may decide to go for all asleep divorce.
A study conducted in 2016 by Paracelsus medical university in Nuremberg, Germany proved that relationship issues and sleep issues usually occur simultaneously.
Those are the reasons many couples decide to start sleeping separately.
However, that doesn’t mean fighting who gets custody of the children or splitting your properties.
It is just about sleeping in a separate bed or room.
Question is: what impact does sleep divorce have in the marriage? Negative or positive?
Let’s see what the experts have to say about sleep divorce
Mary Jo Rapini, a relationship & intimacy Psychotherapist from Huston have this to say about it “While there are benefits to sleeping together, one partner’s troublesome sleeping or annoying bad habits can affect the other and increase the production of the stress hormone cortisol, thus causing issues that impact the couple as a whole.”
And she finally said that “sleeping alone could help you manage life with more focus and control, which in turn can make you feel more content and happier in your relationship.”
This is from Dr. Dean.
Dr. Dean said that “sleep divorce comes with some major benefits: sleeping more soundly and experiencing fewer disruption to your sleep cycle.
Some couples also said that sleep divorce has helped their marriages get better.
From these quotes from the experts and confessions from the couples, it is evident that this is not a bad idea anyway.
And so, If you are still asking ” if this is time to sleep divorce”, then continue reading this post.
Here are a few signs you need a sleep divorce.
There are many things that will make you consider getting a sleep divorce. Below are a few of them.
1) If your health is affected by then consider sleep divorce:-
If you have a good sleep, you will feel refreshed and rejuvenated: but when you don’t, you will feel restless and somehow weak as well.
That usually happens when experience a long interrupted sleep. It can have a tremendous effect on your health. Even if you love your partner dearly and you are not getting enough sleep due to the sleeping disorder, then you can go for a sleep divorce.
Your relationship is being affected:-
If the wrong sleeping partner can affect your health physically and mentally, it can affect your relationship too, especially if it is causing you to point fingers as to who causes what! If it has gone to that stage, then consider sleep divorcing.
You’ve been on the blame game:-
There’s been an argument about why you are underperforming, and you can blame it on your inability to sleep well due to your partner’s sleeping habits.
The best option is to consider the game.
If Your sleeping habits do not align, then this may be the best time to bed divorce:
If your sleeping habit and your partners don’t align, that may be a good reason to sleep divorce.
Example: If you have the habit of sleeping with the light on, playing soft music at the background to enable you to sleep, etc, it may be a disturbance to your partner.
If you and your partner can’t arrive at a compromise about it, then you should go for an asleep apart divorce.
How to sleep divorce: The best ways to do it.
In as much as your sleeping habit does not align, with your partner, or it is affecting your health negatively, you can’t just rush into sleep divorcing.
There are better ways to go about it and I will show you in a moment.
know exactly why you want to do it.
This will enable you to know how to approach your partner about it.
If not, your partner may feel you are trying /o avoid him or her, which is not your intention.
So be prepared to prove your point well.
Wait for the appropriate time:
It’s imperative to know the appropriate time to discuss the issue with your partner.
Choose a time when both of you have ample time to talk through it, then choose the right approach to convince your partner why you want to take the steps.
Then listen to whatever your partner says, so you know how well to convince them.
It may not be a one-day discussion, so be patient as you carefully make them understand.
Talk about the new arrangements before discussing your sleep divorce steps :
Be diplomatic as you are explaining why you want to sleep apart. And new use such words as “you” when talking.
For example, “you snoring has not been letting me sleep.” No! Don’t use such a word.
Otherwise use “we” like ” our sleeping styles don’t align, and it may be having negative effects on our health
“What if I suggest something that may work for us would you be open to that?”
“I brought this up because I love you with all my heart and also I am concerned about the quality of our sleep.”
You are being polite:
When you bring the matter up with this tone of voice, nobody will feel blamed and you will get results at last.
Words are powerful: that’s why you should be careful of every word you speak as you are discussing your steps to bed divorce.
The wrong choices of words will cause more problems and vice versa.
Don’t rush it:
It is obvious you are not getting enough sleep because of your spouse’s sleep disorder, it is also true that your health and your relationship is highly affected negatively because of it.
I understand! There’s an urgent need to get things right immediately. But wait a minute: did you know it can cause more harm than good if you are not careful?
Here is what I suggest to you.
Don’t rush into it. Stylishly ease into it and see its effects.
Try sleeping apart for a few days first, then weeks, and finally months.
Then compare if there’s no need to go on with your plans.
Be creative too:
Don’t look selfish when you are trying to deal with the matter at hand. Look for approaches that will not affect your marriage negatively more than the problems you are trying to solve.
In that case, always arm yourself with alternatives as you are dealing with it.
Have you asked yourself what your next move will look like if your partner refuses to sleep in a separate room?
If such comes up, try offering to sleep on a separate bed: maybe that will be the best alternative.
Deciding to go for sleep divorce shouldn’t cause another problem if you take the right steps to initiate it.
I have shared some steps to guide you so you don’t make mistakes that could cost you your marriage.
Read the article carefully and put all I have said to work. You will definitely succeed