Are you going through separation anxiety at the moment? Are you looking for ways to cope and get over it fast? Then here’s how to cope with a separation from marriage.
I have good news for you: in this post, you learn what to do when you are dealing with any pain you are going through as a result of separating from your spouse and how to fix your marriage free.
Separation is a bad experience, in fact going through any type of separation is one of the toughest life experiences you can face, especially when you love your spouse dearly and never thought for one day that you will ever separate.
Separation comes with so many hard feelings and you may also experience some intense emotional rollercoaster like confusion, heartbreak, denial, frustration, etc.
All these feelings can lead to other serious challenges including sleepiness nights, lack of concentration, and loss of appetite.
If you are seeing some of those signs in your life, then below are how to cope with a separation from a marriage.
Let’s get started.
What Is A Marriage Separation?
A marriage separation means a mutual agreement made by couples to stop living together whether for a while or permanently.
It does not mean that the couple has revoked their marriage certificate, but just an agreement to take a break from their relationship for some time, for a reason.
Separation may sound absurd to the hearer, but the truth is that in most cases it preludes a divorce.
The reasons couples go for separation are many, including – addiction, infidelity, sex, money, etc. If you have found the reason for your separation, then there is a need to figure out how to cope with a separation from marriage at once.
Check them out below.
How To Cope With Separation From Marriage.
1) Decide To Move On:-
One of the ways to cope with separation is to make up your mind to forget everything and move on with your life. Unless you are in a trial separation and hoping to get back together someday, or a permanent separation too.
But, if you are legally separated, then there is no hope for reconciliation again. The only remedy to your situation is to move on with your life and you have to make that decision yourself.
It may not be an easy task if you don’t want the separation in the first place, but you have to do that to avoid more trouble for yourself.
There are two stumbling blocks to moving on to deal with before you succeed.
- You don’t want to move on.
- Not knowing where to start moving on.
But if you are looking for how to cope with a separation from marriage, then follow the steps below.
- You must accept it.
- Distant yourself from each other.
- Don’t think or talk about it.
- Don’t blame yourself or your partner.
- Focus on what gives you happiness.
- Learn from what has happened.
- See yourself above your ex.
If you can do these, you are halfway to becoming strong again after a separation.
How To Cope With A Separation From Marriage: Number One Two:- Tell Your Friends And Family:-
I know it won’t be that easy to start sharing your issues with friends and family, but I also believe in the slogan that “a problem shared is a problem solved.”
Most times we feel much better after telling something we are going through. Therefore, think about your best friend, family member, or marriage and family therapist to share this with.
You can get good advice that will give you peace as you go through this pain, or even get a good solution. But, ask your partner if this preparation is separate before you proceed.
If it is a private separation, then respect your spouse’s privacy; if not then go ahead. Meanwhile, you must be careful about who you are sharing this with else you may regret that.
How To Cope With A Separation From Marriage Number Three: Avoid Negative Friends:-
The worst mistake you will make now you are going through a separation process is to involve your negative friends in a matter like this.
It will be better to mix with people who have your well-being at heart. Those who want the best for you, who will also support you emotionally as you go through this chaotic state of your life.
Negative people will first of all affect your attitude. If you are in a trial separation and hoping to get things right, they will tell you many reasons it won’t be better, and your brain and every path of you will accept that which will affect you completely.
They will also drain your energy with their negative words. The question is, do you want to progress or move backward? Choose your friends wisely.
How To Cope With A Separation From Marriage Number Four: Take Care Of Yourself:-
You heard that right. It won’t be easy though. life will cease to be normal again to you, but you can do it, I mean that you can remove your mind from what has happened and concentrate on yourself.
Start caring for yourself and your family again, if you have children. Do things you always like to do and go wherever you feel happy to go.
Set goals for yourself about your career, and fitness and pursue them. Also, expect to lose concentration in your office. There’s always an emotional rollercoaster during separation.
Just be strong and make time for yourself. Enroll in dance lessons, and acquire new knowledge. Remember, nobody will take care of you if you don’t do so.
How To Cope With A Separation From Marriage Number Five: See A Marriage Therapist:-
Seeing a marriage therapist can also be a good help now you are going through this chaotic state.
Although you are separated from your spouse, you can get good advice from marriage experts on how to navigate life till the separation process is over or till you finally resolve to divorce.
https://www.happymarriagebuilder.com/how-to-find-a-good-marriage-counselor/Marriage counselors are trained to help in that regard. All you will do is locate a qualified counselor and share your challenges with them and do whatever you are told to do.
I bet you will have amazing results. To learn how to locate a good marriage therapist, you have to search the internet or ask friends who have to tread the part before, or your spiritual leaders.
How To Cope With A Separation From Marriage Number Six: Join A Support Group:-
Another place to get good advice on how to cope with a separation from marriage is from the support group. A support group is a place where people like minds gather to talk about their pains or joys.
You can get these groups of people from the Internet. Just drop whatever question you have and you will get answers from people that have dealt with the same issues before.
The psychologist prescribed sharing your pains, weaknesses, and concerns with people of like minds is one of the cures for mending a wounded heart.
To find a help group, type “separation help group” in Google search. You see many of them. Choose whichever one that resonates with you.
How To Cope With Separation From Marriage Number Seven: Set Your Boundaries:-
Another important thing to do to deal with separation is to set your boundaries right. Your boundary is about protecting yourself well from future pains.
It may include, how often your ex can visit you during the separation. If you have children then include the support for the children and how often your ex can see the children.
I will advise you not to relate much with your partner during separation if you are not hoping for reconciliation; if you are, then set a boundary for when to meet, call or visit you.
What To Consider Before Separating From Your Marriage:-
Before you separate, there are things that a necessary for you to do so you won’t regret it later. Below are a few of them.
- Get your separation agreement ready:- you should get your agreement ready before separation. This is a mutual agreement between you and your spouse about how to make your separation easy, smooth, and secure for both of you.
- Be ready financially before the separation:- There is no doubt that you are getting a separation and you will be needing money to take care of yourself. Get yourself financially ready. Look for a sustainable pay job and plan how to start paying bills.
- Consider the children’s support:- How are you going to take care of your children during the separation? That question needs an answer too. You should put that into consideration. Where would the children be and with whom? How would the school fees and other necessary things be taken care of? Spell them out before the separation.
- Get legal advice:– You must understand that you can’t do this alone; so legal advice will help you know what to do and what not to do. A little consultation with an attorney will reduce your stress.
- Carry your kid’s along:- The best approach is for you and your spouse to know when and how to tell your children about the condition of your marriage. Make sure all of them are around then. Tell them the truth, remind that that you still love them and that you will always be there. Avoid every blame game and do well to listen to what they want to say.
Does separation help or hurt a marriage?
The answer to that question is yes and no, here is the reason: if you separate for a good reason, it will help your marriage get better.
Separation helps when the two of you are ready to work things through and when you wish to trash your issues before reconciling.
During separation, both of you will have time to think about your contribution to your problem and probably get a solution to it.
You will also have a space to yourself to think of how your life will be when you are living apart from each other, which will also make you careful with your relationship.
Understanding how to cope with a separation from marriage is the best decision that will take you out of separation anxiety and disorders.
In this post, I have described how to cope with any type of separation you are going the and the first step is to take the decision and start working towards it.
I hope you have learned from this post. See you at the top.
I am your in-house counselor murphyaik.