Here are few pre-marriage counseling questions to answer before you finally walk down the aisle. Answering these questions will help you understand how much you know about marriage.
It is important to have the best wedding in town, but the most important thing is to know how to live after your wedding and honeymoon. If you don’t know these things, you will find it hard to navigate through the storms of marriage.
But those are what the marriage counselors will teach you during marriage counseling?
What is pre-marriage counseling?
Pre-marriage counseling is a therapy conducted for couples to help them prepare for their marriage. It is aimed to help partners discuss several issues about their marriage, like finance, children, communication skills, so that they can be on the same page.
Marriage counseling can help you discover the areas of conflict in your marriage and then equip you and your spouse with tools to help you navigate them with ease. It also aims to help you build a strong foundation for your marriage.
According to Sabrina Romanoff PsyD, “Premarital or pre-marriage counseling helps the couple create a blueprint for their lives together.” All these and more are what you will gain from pre-marriage counseling.
15 sure Pre-marriage counseling questions to note now.
As you and your partner prepare to see a marriage counselor, be sure to expect the counselor to ask you few questions concerning.
1) What Do You Love Most About Your Relationship And Your Partner?
Answering these questions shows how prepared you are for your marriage. They are aimed to help you navigate the vital is life. They will also help you stand firm when everything else has failed.
Consider each other’s interests and aspirations or those activities you enjoyed doing together. Also, think about issues such as communication, parenting, and trust. It is also important to reflect on what you appreciate most about your partner and what your partner feels too.
2) How Do You Hope To Resolve Your Future Conflicts?
It is also good to reflect on how to settle your disputes from the early days of your marriage. This is because there will always be conflicts no matter the amount of love you have for each other.
The counselor will then want to know what you’ll do when you are concerned about your marriage. How do you tend to future issues? It is good to have a plan.
Communication is important in conflict resolution, therefore, be sensitive during your discussion to know when and how your partner reacts when you discuss sensitive issues and subjects.
As you discuss your conflict resolution strategies with the counselor, he/she will then find the best options to make the resolution easier for you.
3) What Are Your Roles In Marriage?
Your counselor will want you to talk about your roles and what you expect your partner do to have a successful relationship.
The truth is that you and your partner are different from each other. You have a unique complexion, body type, and voice, etc. Scientists found out that “the differences between men and women is 15 times more than between two men and two women.” (Source).
In the same way, you and your partner are different physically, mentally, and emotionally, there are different roles each of you will play in your marriage. Knowing these at the earlier stage in your marriage will help you work as a team to have success.
4) What Are Your Plans About Bearing Children?
Taking about being on the same page about having children can come in two different forms.
- You will decide if you want to have children.
- When do you want to start having children?
Consider the difficulties in having children and discusses what to do if you have that challenge in your marriage. What do you tend to do if you have children you didn’t plan for?
Also, consider how to treat the issues of not being able to have children as a couple. The marriage counselor will also want you to have a look at how to balance your work life.
How would you navigate taking care of your children and your daily endeavor? Finally, talk about the importance of having quality time with your family, spouse, and career.
5) How Would You Handle Your Relationship And Your Extended Family:-
As a couple, you need to understand that you are creating “a new family entity” and a new relationship with their extended families transitions. Therefore you have to develop a system to create a balance, if not you will have challenges in the future.
The pre-marriage counselor will give space, to be honest about your relationship with your family and how well you are concerned about your partner’s family and others.
Sometimes, you may experience some occasional selfishness and disagreements with a member of your extended family. if such problems occur, you may want to examine the relationship.
The counselor will show you what you should do in such a time.
6) How Would You Value Your Morals, Values, And Beliefs?
Values and morals are the basics of every healthy marriage. To be sure you are on the same page, the counselor will want to know your beliefs about marriage. Question is, do you share the same belief about marriage? If you don’t, you will certainly have struggles in the future. You will disagree in parenting too.
Make sure you are specific about what is more important to you about your future. What do you believe about cheating? Discuss your opinions on emotional affairs, physical and sexual affairs as well as your ” social integrity issues.”
Be open when you are discussing your expectations and wishes. Also, talk about trust and how to preserve trust in your marriage and family. What’s your opinion concerning child control? You and your partner are supposed to be on the same page.
7) Pre-marriage Counseling Questions On Sex:-
It is important to ask questions about your sex lives. This is because quality sex leads to happier marriages. To be on the same page about sex, check out a few questions to expect from your marriage counselor.
- What is your sex drive?
- How often do you want to have sex in a week, month and year?
- How do you want your partner to touch you during sex?
- What are your sex triggers?
- What turns you on and off during lovemaking?
- What is the best way to activate your sexual satisfaction?
- Thinks of how trust issues can impact your marriage.
- Do you have any fear of sex?
You should answer these questions correctly before getting married, and try to be as open as possible when you answer the questions. They are what determines the success and failures of your relationship with your partner.
8) Pre marriage Questions About Savings And Spending:-
What do you have to do about spending and saving? Are you both comfortable with incurring debts? It is necessary to talk about your relationships with money. Broadhead says “that we can only see through our lens until we are exposed to our partner’s experience.”
As a couple, focus on what money means to you and whether it’s status, power, or anything in between. It’s good to think through all your experiences about money have and how it also affected your outlook on spending and savings. Also, consider the proper ways you may be willing to compromise.
Money Question Checklist:
- Should we have a monthly budget or annually?
- How comfortable are we putting all our money into an account?
- How much should we spend buying groceries in weeks or months?
- How do you want to spend on personal things in weeks or months?
- Are you comfortable being in debt or would you live a debt-free life?
Take your time to answer these questions for yourself. Remember that money plays an important role in every relationship.
9) Pre-marriage Questions On Career:-
Many people give up their career aspirations because of marriage. However, it hinders their professional and personal growth. Any couple that fails to understand that career can be too demanding find themselves quarreling and arguing with each other as they grow.
Taking your time to answer these pre-marriage counseling questions about your career allows you to set some balances between your marriage, career, and partner.
Final Words:-
Pre-marriage counseling questions are a must for a happy marriage. I wrote this guide to make things easier for you, by revealing real issues you’ve never thought of as well as answers that will serve as a blueprint for improving your relationship.
Having said this, I, therefore, advise you a good pre-marriage counseling and take your time to prepare your marriage.
What do you think about this post? Which of the questions would you be open to answer?