Let me show you the harmful effects of having secrets in marriage, so you can avoid it.
Many couples, who have secret lives may not be aware of the negative effects of having secrets in marriage until their relationship is destroyed.
So many marriages have resulted in separation and divorce because one partner or the other is being too secretive.
Although some things can add fuel to the fire when disclosed to your partner. But the question is, Is having Secrets In relationships Healthy?
The answer is “No”
The funny thing about having secrets in marriage is that it will slowly gain entrance into that successful and happy marriage and before you know what is happening, it becomes a big problem.
Sometimes, you could find a way or ways to deal with those problems; but most time you can. However, nothing can be better than being honest and vulnerable in your relationship.
Those two things pay better than having secrets in marriage.
What Does Having Secrets In Relationships Or Marriage Means?
In my understanding, having secrets in marriage or relationship simply means those lives you live in your closet that no one else knows but you.
It is that life you live which you will not want to be known by your spouse, it includes those chatting on social media, that pornography you watch, that masturbation you enjoy, and many more.
Most of the things we hide in our relationships are sometimes sweet, but they are the greatest marriage killers.
Let me tell you how this can affect you seriously even when you are enjoying yourself.
If you read those underlined sentences, you will see where I mentioned: “enjoying yourself.”
Let me ask you this! Just feel free to answer it.
- Is it not sweet, When you pick up your phone to send that little text “I love you” to that young girl out there and your spouse did not know?
- Don’t you feel happy when you ask that beautiful or handsome guy to see you in that hotel room for some actions?
- Is it not sweet to close your office when your receptionist is in and have a quick one with him or her and your spouse did not know?
They are sweet, Isn’t it?
However, it is very deadly to indulge in these except you want to destroy your marriage.
Let me Explain those lives one after the other. Just tell me if it is what you do. Okay…
10 Seriously negative effects of having secrets in marriage
1) Chatting on the social media
The introduction of the internet made lots of things to be easy. With just a snap of your fingers, you can get absolutely anything you want.
The most intriguing thing is the coming of social media Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Whatsapp, and others; with ease, you can connect with anybody.
I was a victim of this too. At a time I realized that I was having more time to chat with my male friends on either Facebook or WhatsApp.
My prayers every day became that my wife will go out to wherever, or I will go out, just because I want to chat with my female friends. What a devastating life!
Thank God I realized on time and stopped it. Think about the effects it is having on your marriage.
2) The pornography you watch and masturbation you enjoy.
I decided to share this because they go hand in hand. Many people are victims of this. Let me tell you what usually happens when you continue watching pornography.
When this attitude becomes the very part of you, you will suddenly realize that you will be so addicted to it that even when you want to make love with your spouse, your mind will not be there. You will be remembering the pictures you saw in the magazine.
Most times, you will realize that after watching, the next thing you will want to do is to masturbate or finger yourself. Again when masturbation becomes part of you, then you will prefer to do it than making love with your spouse.