“Divorce is not the end of life.” It is also not a good option to consider when you are experiencing challenges in your relationship. But if it happens to your marriage, you have to forget and move on. However, you can prevent it if you know the common reasons for divorce and avoid them completely.
There are so many common reasons for divorce, some can be avoided, but few others can’t. But the truth is that no couple planned to get divorced before marriage.
One great reason why it looks as if the divorce took some couples unaware is that they refused to see the signs before it happens.
In this post, you will read some common reasons for divorce and how to avoid them completely.
If you are ready for this, let’s dive in.
15 Most common reasons for divorce to avoid.
1) Yielding To Incompatibility:
Incompatibility has always been on the list of the reasons for divorce. According to a survey by the Institute for divorce and financial analyst, incompatibility has crashed 43% of marriages in America.
My take on this is that yielding to the pressure of incompatibility is the main killer.
Everyone is created with different personalities, so there will always be differences in between, especially When those two people with different emotions and lifestyles come together.
You will only succeed as couples when both of you decides to ignore the differences to achieve a living together.
Divorce occurs, when you or both of you decides to stop holding on the compromises.
How to deal with incompatibility
If you want to stop incompatibility from destroying your marriage, you have to work with your partner to address some issues that bring trouble.
Your first step is to work on your communication and your expectations. You can also seek the help of a marriage counselor to help you patch the “holes of your marriage.”
Abuse is also a serious relationship killer. Verbal or emotional abuse includes control, isolation, insult, and attempts to frighten your partner to submit to your controls.
It normally starts slowly and progressively grows. If it’s not properly checked it will take a big toll on your relationship.
A verbally abusive relationship can make you feel depressed and unloved.
How to deal with abuse:
You should try everything to give up your quest for power. Practice kindness and see a marriage counselor if you can’t do it alone.
The effects of infidelity are always enormous. It leaves both the cheater and the cheated in a great dilemma.
After an extramarital affair, the marriage never remains the same again, because the trust is broken.
Infidelity starts like a play, from sharing your pains with an outsider as a friend before it gravitates to getting physical.
You can avoid it by controlling how you relate to the opposite sex, especially when he/she is not your partner.
4) Ineffective Communication:
Poor communication is also a big killer of marriages. The researcher found it to be on the top of the list of why couples go for divorce.
If you are having good communication with your partner, you can deal with any issues that could result in disagreements.
According to Levine Cohen, ” if couples can’t communicate effectively, divorce will always wait for the slippery slope.”
To deal with the issues of communication, couples should try to improve their communication skills.
Once you get your communication working, every other thing in your marriage will work too.
5) Unprepared Marriage:
If you rush into a relationship because of pressure from your family or because your friends are getting married, things may not be easy with you.
Your marriage won’t work well if you are not prepared for it.
In the book “Finding Love” Terri Orbuch said that “When you marry without identifying who you are, and what matters to you most in life, you can’t make the right choice of partner.
If you are not ready before marriage, you can easily be swept off by the raging storms that may arise along the way.
To eliminate this, you have to take your time and learn the bases of relationships.
Attend pre-marriage counseling, read marriage preparation books, and learn from people’s experiences and you are good to go.
Being addicted to anything can be disastrous to your relationship. Whether it is alcoholic, porn, drug, etc, it can exert a great toll on your relationship.
This is because you will be only attracted to your drugs and other addictions at the expense of your relationship.
Researchers said that forty-eight percent of addicts will see their relationships end in divorce.
Here are a few ways addictions can affect your relationship.
– Trust: Addiction leads to secrecy and lies. You will be prone to lie to cover your secrecy. The lies, in turn, bring distrust when found out over time.
– It causes financial issues: As an addict, you will spend so much to quench your thirst from what you are addicted to. In order words, you miss spend your money and become broke and this can affect your relationship greatly.
– Pornographic addiction can lead to infidelity: If you are addicted to pornography, you may be tempted to try having sex outside. If your partner finds it out, your relationship will suffer.
7) Changes in Physical Appearances:
This may sound vague, but changes in physical appearances have caused many couples to fall out of love with their partner.
Everyone wants an attractive partner, so when you start gaining a great amount of weight, it can be a game-changer to your relationship.
Losing a lot of weight can also impact your relationship too.
The changes in appearance can really affect the levels of love, intimacy, and other parts of your life, including your self-esteem and health, and can bring a lot of negative changes to your relationship.
Keep watch on your health, eat well, and have some healthy exercises. keep fit always.
8) Financial Issues:
Money is yet another thing that can impact relationships negatively. Starting from how you earn it, save it, or spend it, can inflict great tension in your relationship.
Not being on the same page about your finance can make matters worse especially when it keeps you and your partner from working as a team.
Cohen says that ” disagreements about how you make money and your debts can cause strains over time and your relationship can get overwhelmed at some point too.
9) Lack of Intimacy:
This can wreak great havoc in your relationship. The closest form of intimacy is a sexual connection with your partner. When this is not met, it affects your relationship as well as your partner’s personality.
At the early stage of your relationship, things were natural, but it changed with the changing year, you became comfortable with each other and your sex life takes the back seat.
When there is no intimacy from you or your partner, it can affect your self-esteem and you will start doubting your ability to satisfy each other.
How to solve sex problems
The most effective solution to this is to talk to each other about decreasing intimacy and work together to make things right again. Seeing a therapist can help you as well.
10) Expecting So Much From Your Partner:
Expecting so much from your partner is another wave that can sink your marriage fast. It is just like building a castle on the moon. The fact is that no one is perfect, even you.
When you have expectations from your partner, you are bound to be disappointed because it will never happen and it will hurt you when your partner fails.
Donald Miller said that “when you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are,” but you’ll be frustrated when you expect highly from your partner and they fail to attain it.
This may lead to quarrels, fights, and sometimes divorce.
Divorce is not the best for you when things are not going the way they should. You can try some seeing a therapist help you out.
However, you can avoid completely when you know the common reasons for divorce. I have listed some of the common reasons here to help.