In this post, we will be looking at the devastating effects of cheating in a relationship, what leads to cheating, and how to deal with cheating in a marriage or a relationship.
Cheating, also referred to as infidelity is not a good experience for both the victim and the culprit. It is a sensitive topic that affects so many couples all over the world.
Most times, people attribute cheating to just physical infidelity, however, cheating in a relationship is much more than that as it comes in different forms, including physical and emotional.
By the time you are through with this post, you will be able to know what is true cheating, What is considered cheating in a relationship, uncommon signs of cheating, and ways to deal with your cheating spouse.
Let’s dive in now:
What Is Cheating?
Cheating can be described as engaging in sexual or romantic activities with another person who is not your spouse, breaking the fidelity you agreed upon within the marriage. Infidelity in marriage often involves deception, secrecy as well as betrayal of trust.
This normally results in relational turmoil, emotional pain, and sometimes the end of the relationship.
According to marriage experts, cheating has become one of the fastest-growing phenomena in the world today. Recent surveys show that 20- 25% of married couples admitted to having engaged in extramarital affairs.
The eye-opening statistics have shed more light on the rate of growth of infidelity today, and its impact on our relationships. The fact is that as our relationship changes, so does the motivation for cheating in marriage.
Most times people blame this for dissatisfaction, emotional disconnect, or temptation; irrespective of the cause of cheating, it is important to know the root cause and address the issues.
Marriage Expert Esther Perel says “Infidelity is often a symptom of a troubled marriage, not the cause.” Her words have highlighted the complex nature of cheating and its issues in marriage.
Join me today as we talk about various types of cheating, the consequences, and the best ways to prevent and heal the wounds of cheating.
Types Of Cheating:
As I said earlier, cheating is not only physical, there are different types of cheating in a relationship, including physical, emotional, cyber, micro, financial, and revenge infidelity. Let’s look at the one after the other.
Physical Cheating:
Physical cheating refers to a situation where an individual engages in sexual activities with another person other than his or her committed partner.
It involves various sexual interactions like fondling, kissing, and intercourse, out of the bounds of the established relationship.
It is generally regarded as a breaking of commitment and trust within the marriage and it can cause emotional misery and damage to any relationship and its foundation.
Emotional Infidelity:
This is the type of infidelity that happens when one partner gets super close with someone else outside the partner. These two share deep secrets and feelings that should normally be between partners.
In as much as these two people may not be doing anything physical, it is termed infidelity because it can hurt the partner so much. Cheating in a relationship is a good example of breaking trust, and it can make a partner feel upset and no more sure about the relationship.
Cyber Cheating:
With the advancement of technology, there has been an upsurge of this type of cheating in a relationship called cyber infidelity. Study shows that as many as 45% of internet users are guilty indulge in chatting with people outside their committed relationship or sexting.
This trend emphasizes the increasing challenges faced by couples in establishing and maintaining trust amid this temptation present online. Such behavior can kill a relationship and it calls for the necessity for open communication and boundaries in this digital age.
Micro Cheating:
This is a term coined to describe a modest action that may betray a partner’s trust. Surveys show that a significant number of people admitted to participating in this behavior potentially categorized as micro-cheating.
These behaviors encompass actions such as exchanging flirtatious messages or having a close friendship with someone else outside the relationship. Although this may seemingly look harmless on its own, the actions can destroy intimacy and trust within your relationship.
It also highlights the importance of open communication and establishing clear boundaries with your partner.
Financial Infidelity:
This is the type of infidelity in a relationship that occurs when one of you decides to hide his or her financial information or engage in spending secretly without the consent or knowledge of your partner.
This behavior can also maintain secret bank accounts, making bulk purchases without lying or disclosing the income or debt. It usually starts from little issues like guilt, fear, or the desire to have power over finances.
Lack of trust and communication can worsen the issues, and then lead to destroying of your relationship.
Revenge Infidelity:
Revenge infidelity in a relationship is usually the result of unresolved hurts, anger, or a desire for retaliation in a relationship.
This happens when one of you feels betrayed or wronged and then seeks to pay back with infidelity.
This act is steered by emotions like the desire to inflict pain on your partner, and resentment, instead of genuine connection or attraction with another person.
Note that, revenge infidelity does not resolve underlying issues instead it deepens the valley between you.
Signs Of Cheating In A Relationship:
Let me show you how to know if your partner is cheating or not. However, you must approach these signs with carefulness. Have open communication with your partner before you jump to the conclusion.
I know that cheating in a relationship hurts so much, but accusing him or her without clear evidence can harm your relationship badly. If you suspect infidelity, try to have an honest and calm conversation to navigate your concerns and resolve your underlying problems.
1. Attitude Starts Changing:
One of the signs of cheating in a relationship is the change in your spouse’s attitude. If you pay attention, you will find out that there are significant shifts in their behavior.
This may include being secretive about their computer usage, phone, unexplained absences, or no plan to spend time with you.
Cheating in a relationship also leads to guilt which can manifest as a shift in behavior such as being defensive or excessively secretive.
2. Gut Feeling And Intuition:
Another way you may find out about cheating in a relationship is through your intuition or feelings: most times it is good we listen to our intuition. They are true sometimes. If your intuition feels that something is no longer right, take an active step to address it.
Remember that I told you to always be sure before seeing your partner because intuition alone isn’t always reliable evidence. It can be a powerful red flag when you mix it up with other indicators.
Your subconscious mind may pick up on subtle cues that your conscious mind hasn’t yet recognized.
3. Emotional And Physical Distance:
Sometimes, you can read the red flags of cheating in a relationship from the ways the spouse’s behaviors started changing. They may start withdrawing from you physically and emotionally. That could mean that they are investing their time and strength in someone else.
Those actions could result in a lack of intimacy or interest in having time to spend with you as a spouse.
If you pay good attention, you will see those changes on time, you’ll grasp many things from the new friends or connections.
4. No Communication:
You and I know that communication is the key to any successful relationship, therefore, if your partner suddenly stops being communicative, it could be a red flag. They may be avoiding conversations about your future together or distancing themselves emotionally to prove their actions or to avoid confrontation about cheating.
5. Suspicious Spending Habits:
You can also find out about cheating in a relationship from the ways your partner is spending. Keep your eyes on their financial transactions. Unexplained spending like gifts you didn’t receive or hotel bills could be an indicator that they are spending on something else.
These sudden differences in spending patterns without a good explanation could mean what you are suspecting.
Cause And Effect Of Cheating In A Relationship:
The impact of cheating in a relationship can never be over-emphasized. They reck good havoc in any relationship. Below are a few of the impacts of infidelity, you may not want to indulge in it after seeing these.
It Will Destroy Trust:
Cheating fundamentally destroys trust which forms the foundation of our relationships. When one cheats, it breaches the trust the other had and leads to a breakdown in your emotional connection.
It is not easy to rebuild trust when it is destroyed and the residual doubts and suspicion last forever. This will affect the dynamics of your relationship forever.
Cause Emotional Trauma:
Another big effect of cheating is that it will inflict deep emotional wounds on your partner. Feelings of inadequacy, betrayal, and restlessness can occur and cause tremendous emotional distress.
Your betrayed spouse may experience symptoms of anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) when the cheating lasts long.
Communication Breakdown:
Communication and trust can’t be neglected when building a good marriage.
When trust is missing due to cheating, it normally leads to communication breakdown
The victim may start withdrawing emotionally, finding it hard to open up or express their feelings. Meanwhile, the cheating spouse may also struggle with guilt and shame. Which will make honest communication almost impossible.
Communication breakdown can affect all efforts to address the underlying issues and steps towards reconciliation.
Loss Of Intimacy In Your Relationship:
Intimacy in a relationship is not just about physical closeness; it includes vulnerability, emotional connection, and trust.
Intimacy is always hit significantly after cheating. The victim may struggle to be emotionally vulnerable anymore, for fear of further hurt. The cheating spouse may not find it easy to rebuild the broken optional connection.
The loss of intimacy can lead to a sense of emotional dissatisfaction or distance in your relationship.
It Affects Self – Esteem:
Being a victim of infidelity in a relationship can make you lose your self-esteem and self-worth.
It can make you question your attractiveness, value, and desirability as a partner.
This can lead to feeling insecure and inadequate, affecting both your relationship and your overall well-being. It takes a long to rebuild this self-esteem after the blow.
What To Do When Your Partner Is Cheating:
Take Time To Reflect On The Situation:
For effective navigation on this issue, you may not need to rush into action. It will be better if you take time to process this. Give yourself time to experience the entire spectrum of emotions, such as anger, confusion, sadness, etc that come with it.
When you have acknowledged and embraced these emotions, you’ll have more space to understand the root cause and significance. This emotional process, allows you to make informed decisions with the necessary actions.
Gather Enough Evidence:
If you are not yet sure your partner is cheating, consider getting good evidence such as text messages and other things that support your suspicions.
However, be very careful and do not invade the privacy either ethically or illegally.
Consider Confronting Your Spouse:
When you are thinking of confronting your partner, you must plan how to do it better. Choose the best time and place to have an open and honest conversation with him or her about it.
Be ready to express your concerns respectfully and calmly. Focus on the behaviors or actions that made you suspect. Avoid being accusative, use “I” statements often to express how you feel and what to do from this moment on.
Keep your line of communication open and be ready to listen to what your partner has to say.
Evaluate The Relationship:
Check your relationship at this point to know if you still want to try to work through this issue or throw in the towel.
Trust is the fundamental ingredient for any relationship and rebuilding trust after fidelity can be somewhat challenging.
So, evaluate it and tell yourself the truth.
Set Your Boundaries.
This advice will be good for you if you decide to remain in the relationship. The advice is for you to establish boundaries with your cheating spouse to rebuild trust and prevent further cheating.
This could include going for couples counseling to help you address those underlying issues or to set concrete expectations as regards acceptable expectations.
Open dialogues concerning your boundaries and needs are important for fostering a healthier dynamic moving forward. By clearly setting your boundaries, both of you can work together towards rebuilding trust and creating a better foundation for a relationship.
Take Care Of Yourself:
This is the best time to take care of yourself; don’t concentrate on your troubles only. Make time for personal activities that will bring you fulfillment and joy, whether it pursuing creative endeavors, or relaxing with good music.
Combining meditation and mindfulness into your daily routine can help you reduce stress and increase your emotional well-being. Also, remember to nurture your growth and happiness to help you in your overall satisfaction, irrespective of your relationship.
Incorporating mindfulness or meditation into your daily routine can also help reduce stress and promote emotional well-being. Remember, nurturing your happiness and growth is essential for overall satisfaction, regardless of relationship status.
Get Help:
As you go through this stressful moment, I will advise you to seek support from your families, friends, or marriage therapist. Talk to someone to validate your feelings and perspective and to provide a sense of comfort to you.
You can have a heartfelt conversation with your loved one or see a marriage counselor as that will help you alleviate your emotional burdens. Remember, you are not alone in this and some people care about you and will like to support you. Do not hesitate to lean on them for help and comfort.
Get Professional Help:
If you have done all you could do and things seem not working, or the relationship has become toxic, consider seeking the help of a therapist. The marriage therapists are trained and can help you know the best action to take at the moment.
I have written a post on how to locate the best marriage counselor, so you can go and read it here.
Conclusion:
Now that you know what constitutes cheating in a relationship, consider discussing your concerns with your partner openly and honestly. Reflect on the patterns and dynamics in your relationship, weighing the positives against the negatives.
Seek guidance from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist to gain perspective. Evaluate whether the issues are temporary or fundamental to the relationship’s compatibility.
Prioritize your emotional and mental health above all else. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship that brings you happiness, and fulfillment, and supports your growth.
I hope all these answers your questions about cheating in a relationship. If not, then chat or call me for more clarifications. Good luck.
I am still your in-house counselor. Murphyaik.
See you at the top.