If you are reading this post now, then it’s because you are looking for how to stop your marital crisis and build a life together as couple.
The good news is that I will teach you everything I know about how to make your relationship great once again.
Marriage is not a child’s play, it takes, so much work and commitment to make it work. If you have been married for a while now, then you know what I am saying.
If you are planning to get married soon, then let me let you know that it takes effort for marriage to work perfectly.
I don’t mean to frighten you, but just to let you know what to expect as you enter the marriage market.
The truth is that engagement is fantastic and planning for your wedding makes you feel on top of the world, meanwhile what happens after those initial stages is what matters.
That is the time to show your commitment to your marriage. At this time, so many things will want to derail your relationship. There will be pressure against your relationship, and experts made us understand that even if you love each other so much, marriage is still not easy.
Married life raises all kinds of challenges daily. This is where both of you become accountable for making your relationship work.
So Why Is Marriage So Hard?
1) Because You Are Two Different People?
A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”– Dave Meurer.
Let’s face it, you know that you and your partner are two different people. You have different personalities, different lifestyles, religions, and sometimes different ethnic groups.
That makes it hard for you to avoid troubles. You must have different opinions, different hobbies, and different perceptions.
Marriage experts said the presence of fights and quarrels doesn’t mean that your marriage has failed. It is only making you strong.
2) You Speak Different Language
This is Another reason marriages fail. Communication is important in every relationship and effective communication is more important.
most of the problems in marriage stem from the inability to read each other’s body language.
When you find it hard to understand your partner’s body language, there will be miscommunication. To avoid it, try and know each other well and you can read your body language effectively.
3) Unrealistic Expectations:
Having high expectations is better than low expectations, but when you expect more than your partner or marriage can offer, it causes problems.
A result from the survey conducted in 2005 by the National Fatherhood initiative shows that 45% of respondents sighted unrealistic expectation to be the reason for their divorce.
If your marriage is experiencing some problems, or challenges right now, consider your expectations, it may be the reason.
Check the list of marriage unrealistic expectations.
- My marriage will make me happy.
- I will be complete when am married.
- Your spouse must make you happy.
- You will change your partner when the Time Comes
- You love each other and will not fight.
- All your needs must be met by your partner.
All these thoughts and wishes will make you mad when you didn’t see them happening. And the truth is that your partner can’t meet all those expectations.
If the disappointment persists, you will feel frustrated and frustration will drive you to do other unusual things that can harm your relationship.
A) Relate With Other Successful Partners:
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”Jim Ron.
There is a saying that,” show me your friend and I will tell you who you are.” Those two statements tell it all.
You will succeed when your friends are successful in their relationship. The reason is that you will learn a lot from them.
When you surround yourself with naturally failed couples, you might learn and behave like them too. It is the evil mind that corrupt the good mind.
Your best bet is to mix with those that value marriage as well as people who will support you to make your marriage work.
B) Value Your Marriage Above Anything:
Of truth, time has a way of swallowing our priorities. So many things start taking your time as couples. You’ll suddenly discover that you give more attention to your job, children, business, newspaper, computer, etc instead of your marriage.
But, that’s the wrong step, you can’t succeed in your marriage when other things matters than your marriage.
The relationship that succeeds is that where the couples care about their marriage than anything else, even their children. Even the children are happier when they know they have parents that love each other.
C) Change Your Lifestyles:
Another good way to stop your marital crisis is to check if you are the cause of the problem, if so, commit to change
There’s a saying that you can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different result.”
If your lifestyle, your attitude, or character cause problems in your marriage, then find a way to stop them.
Your partner will be happy to see that you have changed, then your relationship will be affected positively.
D) Respect And Honor Your Partner:
Respecting and honoring your partner matter so much when you want to stop your marital crisis.
What does honor mean? “The dictionary described the honor as holding in high respect, to confer distinction upon.”
Now stop for a moment and check if you hold your partner in high respect. If not, then you are honoring him/her.
Those happy couples honor themselves daily, so if you want to join the league, you must honor your spouse.
Here’s how to honor your partner.
- Listen attentively when they talk.
- Respect them.
- Work as a team.
- Commit to each other’s happiness.
- Always speak the truth.
- Make your relationship your priority.
- Seek advice from them. Etc
- Commend them in every little thing they do.
E) Pray for Your Marriage And Your Spouse.
I always advise my clients to pray whenever things refuse to change. “Prayer changes things and can change your marriage or your partner.
Now, you shouldn’t wait till problems come to pray, “Pray without season.” Whether things are going well or not, pray.
Instead of fighting, criticizing, or nagging your partner for that mistake, go down on your knees and pray for him or her, and then find the best time to talk about the mistake: not harshly, but with love.
You will be surprised how things with change for good. There is nothing prayers can’t change. So prayer can help you stop your marital crises.
F) Deal With The Issues Once And For All:
You heard that right! Unsolved issues in relationships are the main reasons for marital crises and divorce. You will always have arguments and fight, that’s normal. However, dealing with the issue early is what keeps you strong and happy.
Never let the sun set before solving those problems. If the problem has been there for a while now, then you must fish them out and deal with it wholeheartedly.
Meanwhile, if you are the cause of the problems, make amend and ask for forgiveness.
G) Give Each Other Space:
Couples have not found a good balance in the amount of time to spend together or be apart from each other. It is obvious that too much of it isn’t good, and too little looks like negligence.
In that case, you should always be observant to know what your partner needs at a point in time. Whenever they ask for that space, never hesitate to grant that request.
Also, don’t joke about the time you have to spend together.
H) Communicate Effectively And Regularly Too:
You can’t have a successful relationship without communication.
The birth of phones and other gadgets have made communication almost impossible in the relationship. Everyone now communicates with their devices more than they do with each other.
The result is fights and divorce. Where there is no effective communication, there will disagreements and disconnection.
Communicate openly about your dreams, life, interests, feelings, and frustrations. Also, learn to listen effectively when your partner is talking to you.
In this post, I have explained how to stop your marital crisis.Although the steps I listed will work, it is not a heal quick steps.
You only have to start insulating into your relationship gradually and see the effects in your marriage.
All marriages are not the same. The steps are proven to work, if it didn’t work for you, that doesn’t make it inactive.
It has worked for other couples, and it will also work for you too.