Getting Married: How to invest in your marriage while you are still single.

invest in your marriage when you are singleIf you are hoping to get married someday, then there’s need to start investing in your future relationship now you are still single.

Also Read how to make your marriage strong

Nothing is worst than having a bad marriage/ relationship; it can only be compared to a furnace of fire.

A research conducted at the university of Nevada many years ago using three hundred and seventy three (373) “heterosexual couples” for investigation shows that marital conflicts has a great negative impact on the health of both couples.

 

The number one cause of that is lack of preparations before getting in.

 

Many people rushed into a relationship without properly investing into it, probably they thought that things could become much better when they are in.

 

But how can you get better results without good preparation?

 

  1. Jackson Brown Jr. Said in his quote that “the best results you will get tomorrow is doing your best today.
    So what do you want?

 

It is obvious that investing in your relationship early will not make you the perfect spouse, but you could be a lot better than not doing anything at all.

Investing in as a single will definitely yield great result in the future, and I am here to show you how to do just that in this post.

 

                                         Investing in your marriage while still single  

 

– Start with a prayer:-The first thing to do is to rely on God for a good partner and it starts with a prayer.

 

Tell God about your choice of spouse, the type of home you want to have as well as the children you want to raise, remember the word of God in the book of proverbs 3 verse 5-6 says we should trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding, and that we should acknowledge all our ways to Him and he will direct our parts.

In that case, if you tell him about everything you want to have in your relationship, He will surely make you successful at last.

 

– Work on becoming your best: – The success and the failure of your marriage depend on you.

That simply means that if you want your relationship to become successful, then you have to do your best individually and the truth is that you can give what you don’t have.
Start adding values to yourself, by learning, reading, attend seminars, and browse the internet for how to be your best.

 

– Surround yourself with good people: – Evil company corrupt good manners; that are a slogan that can’t be neglected.

The people you identify yourself with are the once that will influence you.
If your friends are good, and knows how to value the opposite sex, then you are bound to learn those when you move with them.

 

However, if your friends are flirts, divorced or irresistible, that means you may learn those from them also.

Since you are planning to get married someday, have good people surrounding you.

 

– Be prepared mentally: – There is great difference between single and married, it’s a different world all together.

What works for you while you were still single may not work when you are married.

 

This is the reason you should prepare mentally to adapt to the new life that is coming.

Understand that marriage brings someone that’s totally different from you or your background to be together forever and so you should expect a lot of things coming up when you are married.

 

 

– Be health conscious:- Many couples are having a difficult time now in their marriage because they were so negligent about their health in your youthful days.

 

Some are unable to have children now because they didn’t take care of their reproductive organs early.

To make sure it didn’t happen to you, go for laboratory test and check if all things are functioning properly, if they are not okay, start treating yourself as you wait for your spouse to be.  That will save you a lot of stresses and time in future.

 

– Equip yourselves domestically:- Start learning things you don’t know before about how to keep the house.

If you don’t know how to sweep, wash dishes, cut the vegetables, then learn it.

And most importantly, learn how to cook.
The best way to get your spouse’s love is through his stomach, so learn to prepare all the good foods and make him love you forever.

 

Finally: – if you want a successful marriage, start investing on it now that you are still single. What you do no, will go a long way to help you when you get married.

 

 

7 Ways of getting yourself ready for a happy marriage.

getting married, ready for marriage,have a happy marriageIt amaze me so much how couples put all their efforts and time into preparing for their wedding, and spend little or no time at all getting them selves ready for the marriage itself.

 

Things like how to take care of finances, how to take care of the children, number of children you want to have as well as who will take charge of whatever, which is supposed to be the priority, are not even thought about until after wedding and that’s why there are so many broken marriages today.

 

If you are about to wed in no distant time from now, and have never thought about the life that comes after wedding, then this post is for you and I will show you some things you’ll need to do as you get ready to tie the knot.

If you are ready, then let’s get going now.

 

getting ready for marriage

 

1) Get your finances right:- One of the challenges that starts rearing up its head few years after wedding is the issue of money.

A survey by Sun trust Bank shows that 35% of arguments in marriage comes from the issues of money and that if it take couple few years for couples to recover from other challenges, that many couple never recovers from that caused by money.

 

Fact is that couples don’t just have issues about money, they hide their transactions from each other.

However, this issue of money would have been sorted out before wedding, but who really wants to talk about that when everyone is so excited about the wedding itself.

To avoid it from happening in your marriage, you have to start early and think of how to go about things like – whether you will have a joint account or not,  how to pay the bills and other important things.

 

Ready for marriage, have a happy marriage

 

2) Set goals for your marriage:- The same way you set goals for your works or business to make you increase your productivity, you should also set goals for your relationship if you want it successful.

Setting goals helps you strengthen your marriage, because it gives you the strength to work as a team to achieve a common goal.

Setting goals also helps you and your better half understand each other and also help you achieve a great fulfillment in other aspects if your marriage.

Its a very good idea for both of you to talk about your future dreams.

How would you like your relationship to be in the next 3,5_7 or more years be ?

It all starts from what you do today.

getting ready for marriage

 

3) Talk about your expectations:-Communication still stands the number one bedrock of every successful relationship and you start from your time of dating to get it right since both of you are planning to be a team.

 

Its also pertinent that both of you should be open as you talk about anything that matters as you discuss your future marriage.

As a couple to be, there is need to discuss about household, intimacy, your roles, finance and other important things.

 

 

4) Give up your bad habits:- Many marriages are strained today because many couples are unable to break their individual habits.
You see= }} habits are very common to everyone whether its good or bad, but while the good ones helps to build your relationship, the other will definitely interfere negative in your marriage.

 

And so the best thing to do is to take absolute care about those habits you know that can be detrimental to your relationship. It may be drinking habit, gambling or drug; whatever it is, the way forward is giving them up completely before getting into marriage so that your personal problem doesn’t become your marriage problem.

 

getting ready for marriage

 

5) Clear your debts:- The best way to begin a relationship is to start “fresh”

Getting into any relationship with a ship load of debts will overwhelm your relationship, because the time both of you will use to focus on your future finance will be devoted to how to settle your old debts and the greatest tension and stress will start when your debtors will start knocking on your door.

 

To avoid that from happening, make sure you settle your debts before getting married.

 

 

6) Have a relationship with God:- With God all things are possible and without Him nothing can work.
If you really want to have a good and successful marriage, then you must let Christ pilot the boat of tour relationship.

Firstly, you have to get your relationship with God right before you personal relationship will work out after that, then ask Him to lead and then go ahead a follow Him, for He will never disappoint you.

 

 

7) Learn good communication skills- If actually communication is important in marriage and 45% of marriages are destroyed by lack of good communication, then there’s need to get your communication skills right.

 

Fact is that the close we become with someone, the easier we tend to hurt then or they hurt us, and so you must be careful with your choice of words, because it not always what we say that matters but his we said it.

 

If you fine it hard to communicate properly with your spouse, maybe you find yourselves quarreling anytime you want to discuss as husband and wife, then you must work on yous communication skills.

 

One way to improve your skills is to be a good listener, I mean listening most often with undivided attention than talking.

 

See you at the top.

I am still your Friend

murphyaik.

Are you ready for that marriage?:- signs to know if you are ready for marriage

Are you ready for marriage,signs you are ready for marriageIf your wish is to get married any moment from now, then it is important to be sure you are really ready for it: never bow to peer pressure or rush into any relationship simply because your friends are getting paired daily.

it’s impertinent you get yourself pretty ready before taking that giant strides, because marriage requires more than mere love to succeed.

There are principle for a successful relationship and if you are ignorant of those principles, then you’ll not go far in your marriage.

Here are few reasons why you shouldn’t rush into marriage now.

1) Marriage is sweet, but it is not always rosy:- You’ve seen most of your friends married and most times you see them walking in the street holding hands and laughing and you are wondering when your time will come.

Well your time will definitely come and very soon too: but don’t think those couple laugh like that always.

They also have their fair share of fights and quarrel too, they only knows how to sacrifice to make their relationship great after fight.

 

2) Marriage is for a life time:- At the marriage ceremony, People made a vow to be married to their spouses -in good health and in sickness till death.

I have heard people say they are ready to divorce and divorce again when the marriage isn’t doing well.

However, if you understand that marriage is for a lifetime, then you should know that it takes daily nurturing to make any marriage work.

3) Love is not enough to make a marriage successful :– If you think love is enough to make marriage successful, then think again.

Love only helps you to kick-start the relationship, but it can’t keep you there a long time.

Of course you’ve falling in love with him/ her and you are feeling the butterfly in your stomach. That’s interesting. But what if the two of you love each other so much and there is no compatibility, don’t you think all will not work out well.

4) Marriage will not make you complete:- You are rushing into that marriage because you believe that you will be happy.

In 2012, a research was conducted, and it was found on that couples who were married were not as happy as the couples who lives together and yet not married.

Also the research conducted by Bureau of economic researchers in 2014 show that the only thing that matters is the quality of relationship you have with your partner. “if you consider the person you married as your best friend, then happiness comes.; in that case friendship comes first than happiness in every relationship.

For all these reasons I mentioned above, don’t you think there’s every need to get yourself ready first before rushing into that relationship?

In this post I will show you how to know if you are ready for marriage, to avoid divorce at the last moment.

 

are you ready for marriage Ways know if you are really ready to get married.

 

-Ask yourself if you are ready:- The first thing to do to know if you are really ready to walk down the aisle  is to ask yourself question about how ready you are.

Ask yourself what you know about being married. Although there’s no such things as a perfect ways to make marriage successful, but there are things that helps in achieving success when it comes to it.

How many of it do you know. A story was told about a little boy who told his father that he wants to get married, but the father bought a pig for him and told him to rear it first as that will show his readiness for marriage.

I am not liking a women to be pigs, but here is the rest of the story.

One day, the boy became so angry and kill the pig because she returned to the mud after bathing her.

The father then told him that killing the pig signifies that he’s not ready to have a woman.

The simple fact is that there’s so much to know before going into relationships.
If you are not acquainted with the rudiments, then forget about it for now.

 

– Have you forgotten about yesterdays relationships:- Before any new thing can happen to your life, you should be able to forget the old.

If you are still holding on to your old and failed relationships, then you are not ready for the new.

Although It is not that easy to do though, but there’s need to move forward.

Holding on to the past will affect the way you think, your decisions as well as your actions.

Try and clear the bad baggage from your subconscious.

Of course there are still good people out there that can make a good husband /wife so let go and move forward.

 

– Can you share your mind without fear- A good and successful relationship is that in which the partners are not afraid to share their mind with each other.

If you are such that believes your better-half should read your mind, then you are not ready yet.

In successful relationships everyone speaks their mind no matter how fearful they are.

if you have not done that before ,then I implore you to learn how to keep your fears away and say what you want in your relationship.

 

-Do you know how to cook:- And adage says ” A good food is a way to the man’s heart” Many men love to eat, and so they are happy when they marry a woman that knows how to cook too.

Most men who their wives doesn’t know how to cook are usually angry about that, but somehow they may choose to keep quiet instead of quarreling with the spouse, but many times they prefer to go out and eat good food.

ready for marriage,getting marriedQuestion is: Would you prefer your spouse eating outside than learning how to cook before getting married?

Although most men look beyond cooking when they want to marry these days, but if you know how to cook, you are on your way to winning his heart.

– Can you clean a toilet:- Cleanliness they say is next to godliness. If you have not learn t how to wash and keep things clean, then this the best time to do so.

Every man wants to come home to a neat home.
But, most women are so lazy when it comes to keeping a house.
Learn how to keep things in order always so if your spouse come home all of a sudden with friends, he will not feel disgraced.

 

– Are you ready to take care of your family?.:- It is the right of every man to take care of his wife and the children.

It is true that nowadays every hands is on deck, husbands and wives now engaged in work just to bring food on the table.

 

However, men should not forget that it is their duty to fend for the family.

If you are planing to marry now, then ask if you are ready financially to fend for every member. if not, then you are not ready for it.

 

– If you are still a mama’s boy?:- If you can’t do anything with your wife until you get permission from your mother, then you are a mama’s boy and it can harm your marriage.

I am not advising you to disrespect or hate your mother, but your marriage will be more successful if you concentrate more on your marriage and still give your mother her do respect.

Become the man who is ready to take care of his family rather than that man who can’t make a worthwhile decision unless the mother does for him.

 

getting married soonConclusion:- Getting married is a thing of joy, however it is important to enter into it very prepared.

Remember, marriage is not for a day, but till death do you apart and that’s the reason to learn whatever is there to know about it, to avoid early divorce.

In this post I have written some points down to help you check if you are ready.

See you at the Top.
I am still your friend Uchegbu Ikenna ( Murphy’s)

8 seriously smart dating advice you will obviously disregard

dating ideas, getting marriedIt takes time to establish a good relationship and it also takes carefulness to understand if two people are actually compatible with each other, and that’s why dating/courtship is important when you are ready to settle down.

 

But there are so many dating advice out there,- on the internet, books, CD’s, seminars, all about the roles of a man and a woman during dating.

 

While some of them works perfectly well, most of them no longer fit the move of how things works in the world today, and have left both men and women in the middle of the sea, when it comes to finding love.

 

Question is which report will you accept? Which courtship/dating advice should you adopt now?

 

In this article, I will show you some dating advice’s that sounds smart, which you should totally disregard.

 

     Here are few reasons you will read this post carefully

 

  • you will learn what work and what doesn’t work when it comes to dating

 

  • It will help you streamline your search for that near perfect spouse.

 

 

If you are ready for that, then let’s go.

 

               8 smart dating advice you should disregard.

 

dating, love1 Every dating must lead to marriage:-  Although this sounds so sweet and true, but it is not true. Every dating doesn’t result to marriage.

 

It is important to have the full purpose of courtship which is marriage in mind when you are dating, but that doesn’t mean it will result in marriage.

 

Dating is surely a time to mingle with someone; and a time people know if two of you is fit for each other.

 

But, if you find out that you are not compatible with each other, your next step is to quit and go your separate ways.

 

If all things are good, then you are free to go ahead and marry.

 

You must always be ready to let go of any relationship that didn’t work out.

 

Don’t see it as a failure, but as a learning process.

 

getting married, no good guys2 The good guys are all taken:- That’s also a lie. There are lots of nice guys out there, and believe me when I told you that your man is there waiting for you to show up.

 

Men are like buses, when you miss one, another man will surely appear.

 

Like I always say, be willing to let go of any that didn’t work out well; keep searching and praying, the man God reserved for you will come to you.

 

3 Date more than one man:- You have heard that it is good to date more than one man before you chose the right from the crowd.

 

But, I implore you to ignore that advice. It is counter intuitive to your plans of focusing, and anxiety about whom to chose, and you’ll always be worried about hurting someone else.

 

My question is this, what would you do, if they find out? You may end losing all.

 

Just stick to one man and see if it will work out for both of you.

 

4 You must offer sex to make him marry you:- One thing I know is that sex can’t keep a man who does not wish to be kept.

 

Sex is not a criterion for marriage.

The point is that any guy that wants a committed relationship with you, may not pressure to have sex as you are dating, especially when he is considering a long time relationship.

 

Again sex was designed as ‘ a response to love and not a foundation “. It should be used as a seal and cement that holds an already established relationship.

 

The fact is that the same guy you want to sleep with in other to get married could also be ready to lay another woman out there just to taste the water.

 

That’s the reason I said sex is not a criteria for marriage.

 

5 You’ll get to know more about your partner during dating:-  It is possible you can know few things about your would be partner during dating, but not all.

 

Study conducted in 1997 shows that only couples who have stayed longer could know each other well.

 

The length of courtship is usually not enough to know him/her that well.

 

Just seek to know as much as you can, and if you eventually commit to each other, then everything will be clear to you.

 

6 Disregard last minute date invites: – You got  a massage  from your date on Monday morning asking for a date  in the evening.

 

With excitement you told your friends in the office about it, and your were bombard with different advises.

Some said it’s good to honor it, and other asked you to play hard to get.

 

Now, you want to make your date understand that you are the busy type, and that you are mindful of your hubbies and that you prefer to socialize with your friends than any other thing.

 

Did you know you could be missing out a lot doing that?

 

Unplanned dates are always unforgettable.

 

7 Allow him pay for the first date:-Although this was practiced by our parents, but it doesn’t work in our time.

 

Expecting a Man to Pay on your first date look sounds good, but in our world today it looks presumptuous.

 

Although most men like to pay on the first date but there is nothing wrong if you can ask him to let you pay: but if he insists, then let him do that,  but offer to pay the next time.

 

dating, marriage8 Let the guys make the first move: – This sounds so romantic but it  is old fashioned.

 

Though courting is not dead, but it’s good to see dating with a fresh mind and with open heart.

 

You have the power to ask that person you’ve been chatting and speaking with online for a date or may be ask your date for a second rendezvous.

 

Remember, if you don’t ask,  you will not receive. So go ahead and make the first move.

 

Finally:-

 

I have done my part by showing you 10 dating advice you should completely disregard.

 

They sound so sweet, so romantic, and yet they are not worth given a second thought to.

 

Besides, I always implore my readers to look inside them for a good guidance in everything.

 

Always remember that the best advice that works perfectly well is the one you give yourself.

 

Bonus

7 marriage sweeteners

7 Types of men perfect for marriage

 

 

 

 

10 types of women you should never date or marry

getting married, girls you should never marryWhile every man prays to get married someday, yet no man wants to get married to any type of woman. Intact every man will do everything he can not to marry the wrong woman.

But in spite of the carefulness men still fall victim to that.

If you are planning to take the step now,

Don’t worry; I am here today to help you today.

In this post I want to give you some quick tips that will clearly show you what type of women you should never date or marry.

If you are ready, then, then let’s go!

Also read 7 Types of Men Perfect for Marriage

 

10 types of women you should never date or marry

 

getting married, what men want in women1 Men maker: – These are those chicks that always have a list and lots of expectations for you and will not take it easy with you until they are sure you dance to their tune

There are lots of them outside and you should avoid mingling with them.

To them, God did not mold you well and they want to do it themselves.

They usually start from trying to change your wardrobe, then your taste of music and finally you.

I am sure you’ll not want to marry that type of chick.

 

2 Jealous and suspicious chick: – It is true no woman wants to share his man, but it could be more problematic when she is suspicious about everything

 

Not only that being too jealous is an unpleasant experience, but being too jealous or overtly suspicious will make a woman to misinterpret what is happening and may take what is a normal event and change it into what she thinks.

That behavior can destroy your relationship

3 Professional Gossip: – Whether she is talking about other people in your family or co- Worker, gossip is gossip. But worst is that woman who gossips about the husband to her friends and families.

 

4 Want to have it all chick:- These chicks are always interested in what other people has not minding that they have the same

examples she has a red shoe, but she saw the Neighbor wearing the purple color and immediately she prefers that purple color. Any woman like that never gets satisfied about anything.

 

If you want to marry that type of woman then make sure your bank account is loaded because she will leave you when you can’t satisfy her needs.

Bad woman, wrong wife5  Domineering type of woman :These chicks wants to be the boss, they want to dictate what will happen in the home, they usually want to threaten the husband with divorce and always manipulate some arguments in other to bend their husband

It is a nightmare when you live with such a woman who wants to tell you what to do and what not to do, because they will leave no space to you for personal opinion

Bad cook, wrong woman6 Bad cook:- If you enjoy food like I do, then you have look for someone who knows how to cook good food.

7 A lazy chick: – Would you like it when you come back from work and see clothes litter everywhere, dishes piled up in kitchen and the whole house is unkempt.

Intact everything is exactly the way they were before you left.

The worst of it all is that your spouse is glued to the television

That is the life style of lazy woman.

8 Unfaithful type of chick: – Can you stand it you get reports from friends and loved once, or you find out yourself that your wife is cheating on you?

Getting married to an unfaithful woman is worst thing that can happen to any man, even your life is in danger.

9 High maintenance women: – A high maintenance woman is the same as high maintenance car. They are those types of girls who want many things (affection, money and other material things) just to make them happy. If you can afford everything then go ahead and marry her. But think twice.

Disrespectful wife10 Disrespectful women: – The number one ingredient to make any marriage successful is mutual respect. Marry a woman who is disrespectful and then you will live to be unhappy forever

The bible says in proverbs 21 verse 9 ” It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared by a quarrelsome wife.

So when your prospective wife is not regarding your opinions or “second guessing you “, it is a clear indication that some disrespect is thrown at you.

Think twice before committing yourself.

 Finally

If you want to enjoy your marriage, then be careful when selecting your partner.

This list of the types of girls you should never date or marry is just to help you achieve a successful marriage.

Just keep searching and you will find your heart desire

I am still your friend Murphyaik

See you at the top.