15 Important Steps to Building and Sustaining a Christian marriage.

images1Marriage is sweet when is built and sustained in a Christian way. It is said in the book of John 16 v 33 “ I have told you these things that in me you may have peace, in the world you will have troubles.

That verse of the scripture simply shows that any marriage that is not connected to Christ would surely not stand the taste of time.


These are the steps you must take to build your marriage and make it a bullet proof.


Start your marriage with God and in God

If you are still searching, then the best thing you must try to do is to commit every step of your way to God. Let him have the pre-eminence of everything. Proverbs 3 v 5 say’s” trust in the Lord with all your heart and learn not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your part.


If you are already married, it is not yet too late for you. You can still ask God to take over from where you are now. Remember it cannot be done by your power or might, but by His Spirit.


Pray together always as family

This is the most important thing to do. You must pray for your family and with your family. Bible said ‘pray without season”. Do not let your prayer be only when there is trouble.

Always have your family devotions. Commit all to Him and things will move smoothly.

Depend Only on Gods Plan for Your Marriage

Be sure to search the scriptures, every day to know the plans of God for your marriage. It can only work for you if the Lord has said it. Jeremiah 29 v 11 said “For I know the thought that I think towards you, thought of peace and not of evil. That is the reason why you must give it up for Him alone.


Say only those Things you Want for Your Marriage and Do not Say the Opposite/ Negative.

Always be careful to say those things that are consistent with the word of God as regards to your marriage. Remember what you say is what you get. The Bible said in Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life (are} in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof”.

Always be careful so you do not jeopardize your marriage with the ill words that may come from your mouth.


Wife Submit to Your Husband and Husband Love Your Wife.

This is not a negotiation; it is a command from God.

God would have said wives try and submit to your husband, but He gave a command because that will be the only secret to a happy marriage.

Men you have a very big task here. You must love your wives. Your love is for her alone. It is not meant for another person. If your marriage must be bullet proof, then this command must be kept to the last.


Be Faithful to Your Spouse

Try everything you can to stay faithful to your spouse. I used the word try because I know so many challenges may come that will make you want to cheat. Never compromise, never give room for suspicions.


Always trust your spouse in all things and at all times. Never let it out. Even when it looks like trust has been broken, continue to trust.

Share quality times together

It is not just about spending time together, but spending quality time together. Make each of your stay together a very memorable one.

Forgive your Spouse every time

To err is human but to forgive is divine. Learn to forgive your spouse any time he or she does wrong to you.

Do not deny Sex

Do not think of denying sex to your spouse. It can make him /her look for somewhere else to get it. Also remember that the bible said that it can only be with the consent of each other.

Talk about your challenges

Take some time to discuss your problems with your spouse and bring a plan to resolve it. Never sleep without settling your disputes.

Never bring third Party into Your Marriage.

There will always be problems in your marriage. They are inevitable, but how you settle it is what matters. Remember you must not invite an outsider, not your mother, sister or even friends. It is a family issue and must be settled by the two of you.

Be contempt with what you have at That Moment

Always be satisfied with whatever stage you are in your marriage. Hebrews 13:5 “ Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such thing as you have. Never look at what other people are doing in their marriage and think of introducing it to your own. It will only bring problems to you and your spouse

Remember you are trying to build a Christian marriage.

Have open conversation

Communication is very important in every marriage. Absence of it brings quarrel, mistrust, infidelity. And then divorce.

Be thankful all The Time.

Be appreciative to any little thing your spouse did for you no matter how small it is. You can only receive another if you appreciate the first.


Things You May Know About Christian Marriage.

imagesI have given many advices on how to have a successful marriage. Today, I want to talk about the steps to build a happy Christian marriage and the things you may want to know about it. Simply put this very article is all about the marriage from the Christians point of view.


In this article, I want to uncover the most important aspect of marriage that every Christian must know and the benefits of playing by these rules, which will in turn promote a high successful and happy marriage.


There have been the usual teachings about the duties of the husband and the activities of a wife in promoting and building a happy marriage; it is all over the internet. So many prominent marriage counselors have written several books on marriages yet I realize that they have not actually helped in curbing the problems in marriages.It is very much an opposite to the known steps to building a happy Christian marriage .


In this very article, I want to share from the experiences I had in my own marriage, this includes the ups and downs that I experienced in my ten years of marriage.


It all started in 2005, when I decided to get a help mate. I thought I  had grown very well to fit into the institution called marriage, I thought  I knew everything there is to know about marriage before I rushed into it, I thought it was all about seeing a beautiful woman and getting married to her. No, it very much more than that, there are proper steps to building a happy Christian marriage every couple must take

Let me tell the truth: no one can achieve any success in anything in life alone without the help of God, and marriage is not an exception. My ignorance about the fundamental concepts of marriage made me to face so many challenges.


There were times when I think my marriage will collapse. Things were so rough, It was quarrels everyday. But that was not my initial plan. In my early age, I use to see some married couples moving holding their hands, talking and laughing, and I told myself that one day I will have such a wonderful marriage too.

Yes of course, It started like that and it is still like that. But marriage is more than holding hands and walking in the street. There are other thing that happens inside the house that I did not see. Those are the things every body should know before going into marriage.


When the challenges became too much for me, there was nothing again left for me to do, Then I had to get down on my, kneels asking God for the next line of action. I thank God for promptly answering my prayers.

As God started showing me the ways I should go about it, I realized that those usual teachings in church are very inadequate in helping couples build a happy Christian marriage. Christian marriage is completely more than that. You must have the full Knowledge of what building your marriage in Christian way is all about.

What is a Christian Marriage?

This is simply the coming together of a man and woman who believes in God and who knows Jesus as their personal Lord and savior into a union called marriage. A Christian marriage begins when these people believes in what God says about marriage.

The main purpose of a Christian marriage is to make the man and woman holy, and this holy relationship will then begets a happy and successful. christian marriage.

When a man truly believes and surrender his life to God, then his priority must be to have his marriage be instituted in the very will of God,

Any marriage that is based on the knowledge and the will of God is likely to stand the taste of time.

In the bible, the subject of marriage expends into something that is very much broader. The husband and wives relationship is made to signify the relationship of Jesus and the church. The husbands are asked to lay down their lives for their spouse.

Gods specially designed marriage to be an instrument that will make us more like Christ.

It took me time to know and understand these. But thank God that I did on any way, and those are the secret that changed my marriage.

One of the Things I want to tell you is to go ahead and search the scriptures yourself. You could see that God has a lot of plans for every marriage.

It pays greatly if you will make God the architect of you marriage. A famous marriage counselor in his statistical analysis about marriage said that “Every marriage starting today has more than 41-43 chance of resulting in divorce” He went on to say that Christian marriage has only 35% of chance for divorce and that is much lower than the secular marriage.

I think the only thing left for you at this time is to plan on the steps you must use to make your marriage a happy Christian marriage.

My next article will be on the steps to have a Christian marriage. Be on the lookout for it.

Thanks for reading.

6 important things you must do to have the type of marriage you always wanted.

indexIf you have ever wondered in your heart about how to have a very wonderful, sweet and happy marriage exactly the way you wanted it, then, this article maybe the best article you have ever read in your life.
If you are still searching, then read this article to the last page because it will show you the way to go about it..
Many people have asked me questions on what to do if they really have to enjoy their marriage.
These are my answers to them
Though what I will tell you here may sound simple to you, but they will work pretty well in making your marriage a most desired one. Just take your time to study and work with them.

You must Know What You Want in Your Marriage
If you are looking to marry, then the first thing you must do is to get your jotter and pen and write down five important reasons why you made up your mind to marry; is it because your friends are getting married? Is it because you think you are advancing in age? Is it because your parents are asking you to?
Take time to think about what you are planning to do.
It may not be easy for you if you do not know the things you must know before you get in. The very reason for most break up in marriage is the absence of understanding of the institution call marriage.

Become Your Very self
It is very important and good to have a role model in life. However in marriage, I believe you are your own architect. Do not try to imitate what others people are doing in their various homes. It may not work the same way for you and your spouse. Do not over spend because you neighbor is doing so.
Never try to become a superman or a supper woman because you thought it will make your spouse love you more.
Decide on the way to go with your family. It is yours and you are only accountable to whatever you made it be.

Choose to Be Committed
One reason while marriage works very well is the individual commitment of the couples.
In a marriage where there is commitment, there is also peace, joy and love. This happens because every member of the family knows that the success and the failure of the marriage depends on them. Whatever happens, one will say “I am committed to making this marriage work” that will help to bring solution instead of chaos.
Choose to trust
Trust is very important in marriage. Once trust is broken in every relationship, the marriage slowly dies away. You must make up your mind to build trust if you truly want to have that type of marriage you want. Always make sure that those little promises you made to your spouse are being fulfilled.

Never promise what you have no plan of accomplishing. Have more trust deposited in your marriage emotional bank account.
Know what your spouse is capable of doing and what is impossible for him /her. A lot of things will want to challenge your trust for your partner, but keep yourself strong in building it up.
Say Sorry All the Time.
Let “SORRY” be the anthem you sing in your marriage. One popular quote says that “marriage is the union of two forgivers” you must learn how to forgive and always be the first to say sorry. It will help to make all wounds heal.
Never Cheat on Your Spouse.
Cheating is one of the things you must plan to avoid if you want a strong and healthy marriage. It is also one of the most reason why marriages break.
Never be tempted to indulge in it. Once you fall victim of it, so many other areas of your marriage will be affected.

I hope I made some points here.Please feel free to make a comment.

Thanks and see you at the top.



Things you may see in your marriage that can make you think of Divorce and how you can Stay Married forever

indexMarriage is good some people said. But if you ask many others, they will tell you that marriage is the worst thing one can ever indulge in. What do you think? Can you say it is good or not?


I had the pleasure to interview some couples about their own views concerning this subject matter and listen to what I got from them.


85% of them gave me the answer that marveled me. They said “if it is not because of child bearing, I wouldn’t have married” If you ask me, I will tell you that marriage is sweet if and only if you know what it takes to make it sweet. Did you see what I said in that last statement? It simply means that the sweetness and the sour taste of your marriage depend on you.


One important thing you must have in your mind is that it can never be all that rosy. There must always be ups and downs. The must even be the things you will see that can make you want to run or divorce. The most important thing to note is that divorce is not an option when you see all these things.


You can actually work on your marriage and get it back on the feet again. However, you must get yourself acquainted with these things, so that you know how to tackle it when it starts rearing up its ugly head. Below are the things you may see.


When money stop flowing the way it used to.

Money is very crucial in marriage.There are times in the marriage when money flows very well, probably because there are good jobs or good business that yields money. At those times of income flow, there is always love and joy, all challenges about money are been solved, and all need are meet without much ado. However, there may be times that the money will stop flowing for some time as it used to. Then many things starts coming up; it is now shouts and quarrels. That is not the best thing to do.Always have in mind that one day things will be better again. It doesn’t matter how long. It will be well again.

When he/she pays more attention to the children and not you.


Couples pray for the gift of children in their marriage. However, at times it looks as if the arrival of children brings about reduction in the intimacy between them. Yes of course, now more attention is given to the children, that couples have fewer times to share together. A friend of mine went the extent of taking pictures with the children forgetting their mother. Listen to what the wife told me when I visited them. She said “ any time I look at those pictures, I feel like I am not welcomed here”. Would you rather want your spouse to have this thought? Now listen to what you will do to save yourself the stress. Always show your spouse that he/she is important as well as the children.


When your Sex life becomes dull..

Sex is an indispensable factor in every marriage. However, there are times when it looks as if the sex life of your marriage has become dull. Most of the common reasons for this is the disparity in the sexual responsiveness or libido of the individual partner. When this happens, the next thing to do is to try all you can to restore sex in your marriage.


When there is no more emotional intimacy.


There are times in the marriage when everything seems to become cold between the couples. This usually happens after so many years of marriage. There is no more emotional relationship between couples, no more time for cuddling, no more time for affectionate touching, no more laughing or talking together. At these moments, you may want to divorce; wait! You can get it back again.