Tagged: happy marriage.happily married

November 24, 2014

Things to know about christian marriage.

I have given many pieces of advice on how to have a successful marriage. Today, I want to talk about the steps to build a happy Christian marriage and the things you may want to know about it. Simply put this very article is all about marriage from the Christian point of view.

In this article, I want to uncover the most important aspect of marriage that every Christian must know and the benefits of playing by these rules, which will, in turn, promote a highly successful and happy marriage.

There have been the usual teachings about the duties of the husband and the activities of a wife in promoting and building a happy marriage; it is all over the internet.

So many prominent marriage counselors have written several books on marriages yet I realize that they have not actually helped in curbing the problems in marriages. It is very much an opposite to the known steps to building a happy Christian marriage.

In this very article, I want to share from the experiences I had in my own marriage, this includes the ups and downs that I experienced in my ten years of marriage.

It all started in 2005 when I decided to get a helpmate. I thought I had grown very well to fit into the institution called marriage, I thought I knew everything there is to know about marriage before I rushed into it,

I thought it was all about seeing a beautiful woman and getting married to her. No, it very much more than that, there are proper steps to building a happy Christian marriage every couple must take

Let me tell the truth: no one can achieve any success in anything in life alone without the help of God, and marriage is not an exception. My ignorance of the fundamental concepts of marriage made me face so many challenges.

There were times when I think my marriage will collapse. Things were so rough, It was quarreling every day. But that was not my initial plan. At my early age, I use to see some married couples moving to hold their hands, talking and laughing, and I told myself that one day I will have such a wonderful marriage too.

Yes, of course, It started like that and it is still like that. But marriage is more than holding hands and walking in the street. There are other things that happen inside the house that I did not see. Those are the things everybody should know before going into marriage.

When the challenges became too much for me, there was nothing again left for me to do, Then I had to get down on my, kneels asking God for the next line of action. I thank God for promptly answering my prayers.

As God started showing me the ways I should go about it, I realized that those usual teachings in the church are very inadequate in helping couples build a happy Christian marriage. Christian marriage is completely more than that. You must have the full knowledge of what building your marriage in a Christian way is all about.

What is Christian Marriage?

This is simply the coming together of a man and woman who believes in God and who knows Jesus as their personal Lord and savior into a union called marriage. A Christian marriage begins when these people believe in what God says about marriage.

The main purpose of Christian marriage is to make the man and woman holy, and this holy relationship will then begets a happy and successful. Christian marriage.

God the head of our homes

When a man truly believes and surrenders his life to God, then his priority must be to have his marriage be instituted in the very will of God.

Any marriage that is based on the knowledge and the will of God is likely to stand the taste of time.

In the bible, the subject of marriage expands into something that is very much broader. The husband and wives’ relationship is made to signify the relationship between Jesus and the church. The husbands are asked to lay down their lives for their spouses.

God’s specially designed marriage to be an instrument that will make us more like Christ.

I learned the hard way

It took me time to know and understand these. But thank God that I did on anyway, and those are the secret that changed my marriage.

One of the things I want to tell you is to go ahead and search the scriptures yourself. You could see that God has a lot of plans for every marriage.

Do well to plan

It pays greatly if you will make God the architect of your marriage. A famous marriage counselor in his statistical analysis about marriage said that “Every marriage starting today has more than 41-43 chance of resulting in divorce” He went on to say that Christian marriage has only 35% of chance for divorce and that is much lower than the secular marriage.

I think the only thing left for you at this time is to plan on the steps you must use to make your marriage a happy Christian marriage.

My next article will be on the steps to have a Christian marriage. Be on the lookout for it.

Thanks for reading.

happy marriage therapist, happy marriage, husband and wife

Communication

December 14, 2013

by Aik

How to find a marriage therapist near you

Choosing to find a marriage therapist near you can be the choice that saves your marriage because it will make the journey less stressful for you.

A marriage therapist is trained to handle any type of relationship issues.

And if you are having different issues like all these mentioned below, then you’ll need the services of a therapist.

Signs You Need A Marriage Therapist

1) You Fight Always Over The Same Issues:

Fighting in a relationship is not bad, but when the fight keeps coming from the same issues then it’s time to see a therapist. If you allow it to linger, it will take a good toll on your relationship.

A famous book writer B.B Borg said: “that fighting over the same issues always means you have to find underlying issues that trigger quarrels and deal with them.” The marriage therapist can advise you on how to go about this.

2) When You Don’t Fight At All:

Relationship experts said it is better to fight in your relationship than not. And according to Lauren Cook says that ” couples who never fight could be a course for concern because it symbolizes your lack of care about your relationship.” That calls for seeing the therapist. They will teach you to fight better.

3) If You Are Not Making Love:

God created sex to serve as the glue that holds partners together. It is not new to know that every couple goes through some occasional dryness in their relationship, however, when there is a total dead bedroom, then things are no right again.

Find a marriage therapist near you and get the assistance you need.

4) You Speak Different Languages:

This is not about the normal languages, but when couples have different opinions and argue so much, that means they don’t understand each other’s language. Both of you are never on the same page.

5) when You Pretend Things Are Okay:

If you refuse to share your mind in your relationship because you don’t want your partner to feel bad, that’s a sign you won’t last in your relationship.

Keeping things inside can work for a while but it can be disastrous in the future.

It is better to speak your mind and have everything sought out immediately than bearing grudges.

6) You Want To Make A Big Decision:

You won’t always let things go wrong before seeing a therapist. Sometimes, you can just go and have a therapist guide you through some important matters. They can help you get prepared to take those bold steps.

7) You Have Lost All Your Connection With Your Partner:

You live in the same room but no relationship exists at all. You do things separately, eat alone, and be far from each other.

A good therapist can help you get closer once again.

However, finding one that does not meet your needs can drive you further apart from your spouse, which is not what you want. So it is important to find one that has the interest of your marriage at heart.

How do you know a therapist that has your interest at heart?

What is a Good happy Marriage Therapist?

A good marriage counselor is one who combines their education with experience in marital therapy.

They should have the right credentials and have the proper license or certification that is required by your local government or authority which can be different depending on where you live.

Book for the initial interview session

Truth is that even a well qualified and experienced marriage counselor may not be the best one to fit your needs.

This means that you will need to schedule an initial interview session where you can talk with and get an idea of how this marriage counselor will work for your issues.

How To Find Marriage Therapist Near You?

The process of finding the right happy marriage therapist will require a little work and some research. A good way to start is having your friends or family recommend a marriage counselor that has worked for them.

While this can feel embarrassing and perhaps bring up issues that you wouldn’t normally discuss, if you are aware of someone who has used a marriage counselor before, then getting their recommendation offers a starting place.

Finding a marriage therapist locally

As mentioned, you will need to find someone fully qualified, experienced, and educated.
Find Someone Local:

You will need to select a good happy marriage counselor that is close and convenient for you to visit. This is because you will need to see them over a number of sessions and missing them because the distance ruins the effect of their work.

Once you have narrowed down the choices, at this point you can start setting up the initial interview session.

This is where you meet and talk briefly with the happy marriage counselor who will tell you about themselves and what they hope to accomplish.

Ask Questions:

While it may seem a bit rude to ask questions, remember that you are trying to find the person who can best help your marriage so you will need to ask the right questions to get the best idea of what they are trying to accomplish. Your questions may include the following;

What is your role in helping us through this issue?
Have you worked with a couple of our age, situation, or background before?
From what we’ve told you about our situation, what would be your next step?

Basically, you are trying to ferret out whether the marriage counselor has any bias beyond their interest in seeing you two get through this particular situation. Well trained couple counselors will not side with one person over the other.

You should interview at least three or more marriage counselors if possible before making your choice. Plus, recognize that even after you made your choice, the situation may change if the counselor is showing bias or is not valuing your opinions equally.

But overall, finding a good happy marriage counselor can save your marriage which leads to a happier future.

Does Couples Therapy Help Couples?

Now you know how to find a marriage therapist near you, it is imperative that I answer you a second question about the efficacy of couples therapy.

It is not a problem to ask such questions especially when you’ve seen some couples who didn’t get better after seeing a counselor

But the truth is that couples therapy works. Study shows that it can have a tremendous impact on a relationship. And 75% of couples reported getting better after seeing a therapist.

Another research also advised that marriage counseling is effective for every couple and not only for couples with problems.

Finally:

If you are not having a good relationship with your spouse, it is important to seek the assistance of a marriage counselor. Marriage counselors are trained to help the couple go through their problems.

You also need to be careful when you are choosing a therapist to work with because most of then are not qualified.

I have included some important questions you should ask to know if he/she is really qualified to help you solve your marriage problems.

Read the article to understand how to find a marriage therapist near you to work with.

Advice on marriage: Avoid these 5 mistakes

Finance

December 3, 2013

by Aik

Advice on marriage: Avoid these 5 mistakes

I heard from a friend that the best advice on marriage could be gotten from a divorced, and this is absolutely true.

Why did I say so?

The people that are separated are now more conscious of the things they did right and what they did not do right in their first relationship, and they are more careful now, because they will not want make the same mistakes again in there next relationship.

In my experiences as a marriage counselor, I was able to some important advice on marriage that helped me so much, and I want to share them with you now, so I implore you to pay close attention to these if you are really after getting your marriage strong and happy.

These are the mistakes you may not want to make in your marriage.

Advice On Marriage: Avoid These 5 Mistakes

(1) Don’t neglect love-:

“True love, the kind of love that keeps a couple together for a lifetime, is not a feeling but attitude. It says, “With the help of God, I’m going to do everything I can to enhance the life of my spouse.”

Fall in love again and again, because love is the only guarantee in marriage. Although love alone can’t keep a marriage for a long time, but it is very necessary for a lasting relationship The Bible said that “love covers a multitude of sins”. When you love your spouse, you will not want to hurt him or her.

As marriage matures, it is likely that things will start changing too.But it is your responsibility to fall in love over and over again with your spouse. Only you.can.

2) Do not blame your spouse all the time:-

Most marriages have challenges because there are too much blames. When you are frustrates or annoyed, learn to control your emotions.

Don’t go ahead blaming your spouse for everything. The best thing to do when you feel like you will shout, go down on your kneels and ask God to help you overcome the attitude. It will never be easy, but you can do it.

Here is how:

Stop making list of flaws:- If you really want to stop the blame game, then you have to stop keeping the lists of your spouse’s errors. Remember that nobody is perfect. You are not a sailor too.

Think solution in any problems:- Whenever there a disagreement, always approach it with the solution mind, don’t try to prove all your points.

Take a short break:- You can choose to go away from the heated environment, that will help you to calm down, with exchanging words.

(3) Be there when you are most needed:-

The real truth is, that life is hard. And We are bound to go through many challenging moments in our relationship /marriage.

There are also times when you or your partner will be more stressed and will need you around, that’s when you should be around for him/ her.

Learn to be around when your spouse needs you most. You should not run away when you noticed that he/she is down in the spirit, It is your work to share up your spouse.

Remember you were married to complete each other.

(4) Do not neglect praying together:-

The Bible said that the family that prays together stays together. To have a perfect and happy marriage, you must learn to pray together as family. Always hold your hands together and pray for one another.

Make some declarations upon each other and agree on certain things concerning the growth of your family and your children. If it looks as things are going opposite, decide to change it.

The word of God says that ” The prayer of the righteous avails much”.

(5) Do not neglect your marriage:-

Put your mind in your marriage. Many marriages crumble because the couple’s minds are not in their marriage, their predominant thought is on work. They can give all the have to retain their job, but can’t even give a minute to make their marriage succeed.

Don’t be like them. If your marriage is important to you, invest more time to make it better.

I know it’s through your job you make the money to eat, but your marriage also.requires attention.

Make sure that your spouse is getting your best all the time.

All these advices will help you improve your marriage if you will sincerely work with it.

Conclusion:

You probably have seen other advice, but this is my personal advice on marriage and I want you to take it seriously, but understand that things will remain the same if you don’t put any of them to practice.

So I advise you to take some time to practice the points listed in this post. It will help your marriage.

Marriage Session