Tagged: family

happy marriage, what to do to have a happy marriage, money and happy marriage, steps to having a happy marriage

December 20, 2014

Maintaining balance in marriage raising kids

Having children is one of the things that brings joy to couples, the problem usually maintaining balance in marriage while you take care of the kids.

When you are planning to have a baby, someone who will require more love, time and attention from you, have it in your mind that your family will experience a great change.

If you are not careful, the coming of a baby can pose more challenge on your marriage and can bring a strain between you and your spouse.

There is bound to be some sleepless nights for at least eighteen years. Those responsibilities and pressure that comes with the up keep of a baby will steal those privacies you once enjoy with your spouse.

The birth of a baby brings couples together or keep then father apart, depending on the (pre-baby) relationship the couples have.

Having Kids And Maintaining Balance In marriage

Here are the things you must do to retain love in your marriage after having children

Have in mind that your role has increased-:

When children starts coming into a home, the roles and activities of the husband and wife increases to two or more. You must try to fulfill your roles a wife or husband as well as the role of a parent without compromising your children’s need or neglecting your own values.

It takes time and energy to raise children; the love between you and your spouse is also shared among two or three persons now.

Take time to have fun alone away from your children.

Have plans to go out at a secluded place where you can enjoy yourselves together without your children. You can do this at least one week.

Talk about the two of you at those moments and not the kids remember you must know that your relationship as husband and wife matters in having a stable marriage.

Never give up the things you enjoyed before the coming of the children

There maybe many things you enjoyed doing in your marriage together with your spouse. You must not give it up because of the children.

If you enjoyed taking a work together, make sure you continue doing it. Remember if you want to give your children a good life, you must firstly enjoy it with your spouse.

Include family time into your marriage

While it is very important to have enough time to enjoy as couples, it is also more important to have your family time, because both of them are the pre requisite for a happy marriage.

Family time helps to make everyone in the family to be more united with each other. It also give you room to understand to know your children pretty well and to be part of their life.

Show affection

Understand that affection is equally important in marriage just as having sex is. Validations, complements, eye contacts, showing full attention and embracing each other are both rewarding to your marriage and it is also an important example to your children.

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Marriage

December 6, 2014

by Aik

8 ways to make a good foundation for marriage

Making a better and good foundation for everything is very important because that is always the pillar that holds firm the other structures. And in this post, you will learn how to make a good foundation for marriage too.

I implore you to read this post carefully so you will learn what marriage foundation is, and how to effectively make a good one for your marriage.

Before that, let’s get ourselves acquainted with what foundation means.

What Is Foundation?

Dictionary.com describes the foundation as the “natural or prepared ground or base on which some structure rests.”

May I also tell you that you can’t do anything without a proper foundation; if you do, you will be ready to see it falling flat to the ground.

And marriage is just the same. It also needs a foundation to stand, and not just a foundation but a firm and strong foundation.

So how do you define the foundation of marriage?

Foundations of marriage simply mean the totality of your efforts, actions as well as moves to have a strong and lasting relationship.

These foundations are laid out before the marriage, and at least before the wedding.

It begins with having genuine, honest, and open communication about all your desire, hopes, feelings, interests, and goals.

When all these are spelled out from the onset of your relationship, you have dealt with the impending doom that could rear its head later in your relationship.

Marriage is meant to be enjoyed by couples. The reason most husbands and wives are not getting what they desired in their own family is the foundation they built on.

Marriage can be built on either a good foundation or a wrong foundation.

Meanwhile, if you are not enjoying yours that may be because you have a wrong foundation.

Let’s Compare The Importance Of A Foundation In Marriage.

1. Your Relationship Will Be Secured:

If a foundation is truly the pillar on which a structure is built, then it is best to have your marriage on a good foundation too, because with a solid foundation you are sure your relationship is secured.

With a strong foundation, you are sure your boundaries are respected and that the trust is not breached.

You can’t underestimate a good foundation when you want to have a successful relationship.

2. Trust Is Built When There Is A Good Foundation:

With a strong foundation in your relationship, you don’t need to be afraid of anything or your partner.

The absence of fear brings confidence and trust and with trust, your relationship will grow stronger by the day.

How To Make A Good Foundation For Marriage.

1) Lies

Starting your marriage with lies could cause a big disaster to your home in the future because anything that is hidden in this life must one day be revealed.

One day, I went to visit a friend of mine. I met him quarreling with the wife. The main reasons for the uproar were that all the lines were let loose. Many things the man Said to win the wife were all lies.

It was by God’s grace that the marriage still stands today.

Remember. it always takes a lie to cover another lie. It is, therefore, better to start your marriage on a platform of truth than lies.

2) Money:

Money is important in everything and marriage especially. However, using money as the foundation for your marriage can be destroyed at a later time.

You must understand that money can come and go at anything. Never base your choice of marriage on money, and never try to win any woman by brandishing money to her.

Again, it is imperative to be on the same page when it comes to money, if not, there will be lots of misunderstanding.

Don’t let your spending be more than your earnings, reckless spending can make you poor and bankrupt.

3) Beauty

Beauty they said is good in the eyes of the beholder. Yes, I believe; but let it not be the criteria for your marital choice, instead, go for the moral beauty. Marry him /her because she is good on the inside.

You can’t be sure what happens next: the beauty can fade away, tell me what happens when the beauty is no more.

I have seen someone lose a beautiful face after an accident, also a beautiful body structure can disappear when you don’t monitor your diets.

In order words, don’t base your go for or marry beauty, instead marry because you love your partner.

4) Building Your Marriage On A Solid Foundation:

God.

Make God the foundation of your marriage and see the thing moving just smoothly. Start by acknowledging him.

Let Him take the pre-eminence. Never take any step without him. Remember you can not do it alone.

Proverbs 3: 5 says ” trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your understanding: in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your part.”

Ask Him before you do anything or take any decision, He is there to direct you on how to make things better.

5) Be yourself

Never try to become a superman or a superwoman, because you thought that is the type of woman or man people prefer. Be who you are. Let your spouse know that you are the same person he married.

6) Love yourself

The best way to move forward in life as a happily married man or woman is to love yourself first. Refuse to see yourself the way you think you are.

Maybe you think you have a big head, big ey, es or chicken legs. Remember God created you like that.

You must love yourself first before any other person can. Be the best you can be for your husband; after all, he saw you the way you are before he married you.

7) Love your spouse.

No matter what happens, love is always the greatest. The Bible said that ‘love covers a multitude of sins. Marry someone that loves you for what you are and not for who you are. The opposite will break your heart into pieces.

Show your partner that you truly do love him or her and don’t assume they know you do.

8) Bed undefiled

One of the things the couple enjoys is sex. Therefore do not start enjoying the sex until you are married. Sex when started before marriage usually starts declining after some years in marriage. Let that be the very first discovery with your spouse.

In Conclusion.

There is a need to set up a strong foundation for your marriage. It’s not hard to do. Just follow the steps I outlined in this post and you’ll have a strong foundation erected for your marriage

Marriage

December 4, 2014

by Aik

Marriage tip: how to build trust in marriage

The presence of trust in any marriage is the evidence that the marriage will be a happy one and will last very much longer. Once your marriage is depleted of its trust, then expect it to fail at any moment. Though you can build trust in your marriage when it’s broken, yet it’s not good to break it in the first place.

Have you tried everything to make your marriage stronger the way it used to be and have not achieved your aim, then you must try building trust? It is the most fundamental way of bringing growth and happiness to any crumbling marriage.

Most marriages that crumble did so because they lack this fundamental thing called trust immediately trust starts lacking in any relationship, then the relationship is bound to tear apart in a matter of time.

These are some important ways to build back trust in your marriage

1) Be Honest

Do not hide anything from your spouse. Always remember that one day those things that are hiding will be revealed.

Having secret brings destruction to trust, once your partner knows you hid something from him or her, it usually looks the same as lying to him also. People detest lies. My wife is number one of them.

One of the secrets she thought me that made my marriage to become a powerful one is to say the truth at all times and in all things. Lies require another lie to cover up. That is why I think it’s better to devote more time to building your family than building secrets and lies.

2) Ask for forgiveness all the time.

Whenever trust is broken in a relationship that means one of the people involved has gone astray. If you are the one, the most important thing you must do in other to gain the trust and confidence back is to ask for forgiveness. Let the request come from the innermost part of your heart.

Don’t see is a big task to repent of your wrongs and ask for forgiveness.

3)’Never Promise Without fulfilling it.

You made so many promises to your spouse and never fulfilled it. Your spouse asked you to help fix the light in the kitchen and you promised to do so, and yet you did not. You even promised to get some important things she needed for herself and yet for more than one month you refused to do it.

All these will affect the trust and the next day when you make a promise and know in your heart that you will fulfill it, your spouse will definitely take it as one of those promises.

4) Change

When you breached trust in your marriage, then you must try and do those things that will make your spouse know that you have truly repented from the mistakes and have changed.

The first thing for you to do when you fall victim to distrust is to make plans to rebuild it. Consider the areas you failed in and promise never to fail again.

Tell your spouse to be on the lookout on you. Let him or her know he can hold you accountable by your promises to change.

5) Don’t Ever Give Up:

It is usually not a day job to build trust back whenever it is broken. It is definitely easy to destroy than to build. It will take time to believe that you are actually working on building trust. This is why you will never give up the fight even when it looks like things are not changing.

Hope this helps.

Your murphaik