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Tagged: family

happy marriage, what to do to have a happy marriage, money and happy marriage, steps to having a happy marriage

Maintaining balance in marriage raising kids

Maintaining balance in marriage

 

Having children is one of the things that brings joy to couples, the problem usually maintaining balance in marriage while you take care of the kids.

 

When you are planning to have a baby, someone who will require more love, time and attention from you, have it in your mind that your family will experience a great change.

If you are not careful, the coming of a baby can pose more challenge on your marriage and can bring a strain between you and your spouse.

 

There is bound to be some sleepless nights for at least eighteen years. Those responsibilities and pressure that comes with the up keep of a baby will steal those privacies you once enjoy with your spouse.

 

The birth of a baby brings couples together or keep then father apart, depending on the (pre-baby) relationship the couples have.

 

Having Kids And Maintaining Balance In marriage

 

Here are the things you must do to retain love in your marriage after having children

 

Have in mind that your role has increased-:

When children starts coming into a home, the roles and activities of the husband and wife increases to two or more. You must try to fulfill your roles a wife or husband as well as the role of a parent without compromising your children’s need or neglecting your own values.

 

It takes time and energy to raise children; the love between you and your spouse is also shared among two or three persons now.

 

Take time to have fun alone away from your children.

Have plans to go out at a secluded place where you can enjoy yourselves together without your children. You can do this at least one week.

 

Talk about the two of you at those moments and not the kids remember you must know that your relationship as husband and wife matters in having a stable marriage.

 

Never give up the things you enjoyed before the coming of the children

There maybe many things you enjoyed doing in your marriage together with your spouse. You must not give it up because of the children.

 

If you enjoyed taking a work together, make sure you continue doing it. Remember if you want to give your children a good life, you must firstly enjoy it with your spouse.

 

Include family time into your marriage

While it is very important to have enough time to enjoy as couples, it is also more important to have your family time, because both of them are the pre requisite for a happy marriage.

 

Family time helps to make everyone in the family to be more united with each other. It also give you room to understand to know your children pretty well and to be part of their life.

 

Show affection

Understand that affection is equally important in marriage just as having sex is. Validations, complements, eye contacts, showing full attention and embracing each other are both rewarding to your marriage and it is also an important example to your children.

 

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3 Reasons why Marriages fail or succeed

 

Why marriage fail or succeedThere are so many reasons I know why marriages fail or succeed and here’s why you should not let your marriage fail like so many others.

 

In this article, you will also learn how you can make your own marriage be counted among the successful marriages for the rest of your stay as couples.

 

Obviously, there is never a time when people will plan to get together as husband and wife, and want to break up the next day. The plan is always to have wonderful and perfect matrimony. But sometimes, it never happens as planned.

There are so many important reasons I know why some marriages thrive well even in the midst of their challenges, and why some results to divorce even at a very little challenge.

I want us to firstly look at the classifications of marriage by the famous researcher called Dr. John Guttman.

In his research, he was able to classify marriage into different styles as follows.

 

1) Compatible marriage.

When a marriage is said to be compatible, it means the two people have the capability to live together in marriage as husband and wife.

Romance is always important in any marriage that will last long, but the compatibility of the couple is very crucial.

The partners in this type of marriage always have a way to agree on common agendas concerning the way their union will go, and how each of the partners will behave when there is an issue.

Every successful marriage is comprised of couples who have come to the marriage with already existing compatibility in some areas like temperament, goals, and personality.

This is why it is always easier for them to come to terms in some certain issues and that reduces marital conflicts

The second style of marriage according to Dr. Gottaman

 

2) The Volatile Marriage

When a marriage is termed volatile, it is usually “characterized” by so many strong arguments and strong displays of passion as well. There is usually a frequent positive interaction than the negative.

It has been noticed that couples in this kind of marriage have a different “style” of marriage than those who are similar in their outlook.

The couples who have a volatile marriage can tolerate and tend to stay happier; the reason is that the more opportunity they have to quarrel, the more they also have to make up and move on with their passions of kissing and hugging.

 

3) Conflict Avoidant Marriage

In this style of marriage, the couples choose to avoid confronting their issues directly by either changing the subject matter or by singing. This type of marriage can be more disastrous.

The couples don’t usually ask about each other’s feelings, emotions, want and thoughts. Even when one does, the other will not reciprocate. However, that doesn’t mean there is no chance for then to live together.

The main reason why marriages fail or succeed is not conflicts. It is all about how the couples solve the incompatibility in their relationship.

 

Be prepared to accommodate

The ones who are not well prepared to accommodate each other usually turn their conflicts into a protracted fight and may throw in the towel to avoid one.

The most important thing each partner must learn in order to deal wisely with their conflicts without giving up their own interest or need is always to support and validate each other.

Commitment is most imperative in making any marriage succeed.

 

Let me live you with this.

Whatever you need to make your marriage fail or succeed is inside you; look inside, select the tool you need and start working.

Thanks for reading this.

To your success

Murphyaik.

 

 

Make A Good Foundation for Your Marriage

Make A Good Foundation for Your Marriage

How To Make A Good Foundation for Marriage

Making a better and good foundation for everything is very important because that is always the pillar that holds firm the other structures. And in this post, you will learn how to make a good foundation for your marriage.

 

This is also the case with marriage.
Marriage is meant to be enjoyed by couples. The reasons most husbands and wife are not getting what they desired in their own family is the foundation they built on.

 

Marriage can be built in either a good foundation or a wrong foundation.
Let us look at the few wrong foundations.

 

Lies

Starting your marriage with lies could cause a big disaster to your home in the future because anything that is hidden in this life must one day be revealed.

 

One day, I went to visit a friend of mine. I met him quarreling with the wife. The main reasons for the uproar were that all the lines were let loose. Many things the man said in order to win the wife were all lies.

 

It was by God’s grace that the marriage still stands today.

 

Remember. it always takes a lie to cover another lie. It is, therefore, better to start your marriage on a platform of truth than lies.

 

Money:

Money is important in everything and in marriage especially. However, using money as the foundation for your marriage can be destroyed at a later time.

 

You must understand that money can come and go at anything. Never base your choice of marriage on money, and never try to win any woman by brandishing money to her.

 

Beauty

Beauty they said is good in the eyes of the beholder. Yes, I believe; but let it not be the criteria for your marital choice, instead, go for the moral beauty. Marry him /her because she is good on the inside.

 

How To Make A Good Foundation for Marriage

 

The Good Foundation For a Happy marriage.

God.

Make God the foundation of your marriage and see the thing moving just smoothly. Start by acknowledging him. Let Him take the pre-eminence. Never take any step without him. Remember you can not do it alone.

 

Be yourself

Never try to become a superman or a superwoman, because you thought that is the type of woman or man people prefer. Be who you are. Let your spouse know that you are the same person he married.

 

Love yourself

The best way to move forward in life as a happily married man or woman is to love yourself first. Refuse to see yourself the way you think you are.

 

Maybe you think you have a big head, big eyes or chicken legs. Remember God created you like that.

 

You must love yourself first before any other person can. Be the best you can be for your husband; after all, he saw you the way you are before he married you.

 

Love your spouse.

No matter what happens, love is always the greatest. The Bible said that ‘love covers a multitude of sins. Marry someone that loves you for what you are and not for who you are. The opposite will break your heart into pieces.

 

Bed undefiled

One of the things the couple enjoys is sex. Therefore do not start enjoying the sex until you are married. Sex when started before marriage usually starts declining after some years in marriage. Let that be the very first discovery with your spouse.