Have you been overwhelmed by the fear of commitment?
If yes, then you are not alone secondly, so many people are going through some commitment phobias as am writing this post now.
You only don’t have to let it linger without tackling it, otherwise, it will become a big problem for you.
However, I won’t let it happen to you.
That’s why I am here to guide you, and I will show you the steps by step to overcoming your commitment phobia faster.
If you are ready, let’s dive in.
What Is The Fear Of Commitment?
It simply means being afraid of a long term relationship.
You’ve been in a relationship for a long time and you don’t have any plans to take it to commit to that relationship.
That is a sign of being afraid to commit to relationships.
Below Are Few Other Signs.
Few Reasons For Your Fear Of Commitment.
High Expectations.
You have a long list of what you want in a spouse, but nobody has been able to meet up with your list because they are unrealistic.
Of course, it is great to dream big, think big, and expect high, but it is not proper to have unrealistic expectations, because you will be frustrated if it fails to happen.
Take time and review your list, and delete the number that says “getting a perfect spouse,” because that can’t happen since nobody is perfect, even you.
Fear.
You’ve gone through a lot in the past, probably someone dumped you, and you are afraid to pass through that again.
Now you see every relationship as not safe, and the fear of another heartbreak is holding you back.
Meanwhile, to move forward, you have to forget the past and move on.
If not, it will make you wait a long time; but if you free your mind, there will be good space to accommodate new things.
You Are A Mum’s Pet.
Mum said “it’s not yet time.” she said you should look for a tall, handsome/ beautiful person.
The question is ” what do you want?
If you are a mum’s pet, and you can’t stand or take decisions for yourself, it will hinder you from achieving many things.
Many times, you will be afraid to discuss certain things with your date because you are sure your mum won’t approve of it.
You have to take all the decisions for yourself if you should move up with life.
Childhood Trauma.
Studies show that your childhood experiences can seriously affect your life and health in the future.
Many experiences as you were growing up can cause you so much harm now.
Probably your parent’s marriage didn’t work well and it affected your emotions, you have lost faith in relationships.
Nothing will change until you delete that from your mind.
Understand that you are different from your parents and your marriage won’t fail like their own.
Signs of Fear Of Commitment.
You are afraid of being hurt again.
Your last relationship didn’t end well and your heart was broken so you are not sure what the next relationship will look like.
That’s why you are afraid to date or get married again.
This has hindered so many people from moving forward. If you don’t tackle it on time too you’ll see its impacts.
So the best you can do from this moment is to drop the baggage so you can move on.
Your Relationships Don’t Last.
You have gone into relationships before, but none of them lasted. That’s because you never put your best.
None of them ended on a good note and you know the faults are from you.
It is not a fault to break up from a relationship, but it is wrong when the breakup is a result of selfish reasons.
Perhaps, you don’t care about the relationship or your partner’s feelings, and you are not ready to commit.
To save the situation, you will have to decide to redress your step. Life is too short not to get serious in things that matter. Else you want to remain single for the rest of your life.
You Hold On To Any Little Flaw.
Let’s get this straight, you have a good grade at finding fault, and no matter how small the fault is, you magnify it, so you can have a way of escape.
For example, when you complain about his complexion, or about his not being fluent in your native language.
Sometimes, it’s just because he/she doesn’t dress properly.
Those are not a cogent reason to dump someone, but when you do so because of these trivial matters, then that’s a big sign of commitment.
You Don’t Regard For Emotional Connection, but Sex.
Have you heard the term playboy? or playgirl? that’s who you are.
All you care about is sex and you don’t mind pretending to love your mate just to sleep with them even when you know that you are not ready to commit.
And once you succeed in having sex with him/her, then the relationship is almost over.
However, if you want your relationship to survive, you have to be ready to connect emotionally with your partner.
Sex should be the cord that binds you together and not the priority.
The solution is to take your time to build intimacy with your partner, that’s when you know you are ready to overcome the fear of commitment.
Now that you know the signs of fear of commitment, let’s look at how you can overcome it.
How To Overcome Fear Of Commitment.
1) Identify The Root Of It All.
Your first step to overcoming your fear of commitment is to find the root of all your fear,
What is the reason you don’t want to commit? When did it start?
These are the first step to solving your problems. If you can find the root, then you are halfway to dealing with it, if not it will be hard to deal with.
Feel free to look back to the time it started, maybe you will know why things are the way it is now and then looks for the best tricks to employ in solving the problem.
2) Write It Down On Your Goal Worksheet:
You must write your goals on a worksheet. This will help you achieve your goals faster.
As you are struggling to overcome your fear of commitment, so many things will try to discourage you; but you will be refreshed when you look at your written goal and see the reasons you wished to stop it.
And you will be motivated when you look at the list and see that you are making good progress.
3) Take Action.
Writing down your goal won’t be appropriate if there’s no plan of action. Therefore your next step should be to take action immediately.
Conquering your fears won’t be a waste of time, especially when you know the benefits.
Since you are sure of accomplishing your relationship tasks after conquering your commitment phobia, then you have to swift to action at once.
4) Make Friends With Successful Couples.
The next step to overcome your fears of commitment is to surround yourself with other people in a successful relationship.
By surrounding yourself with these types of people, you will learn from them.
According to research, those who mingle with people in a bad relationship usually find themselves behaving the same way.
Meanwhile surrounding yourself with successful couples makes you successful also, therefore make it a point of duty to change your lifestyle, if you want to achieve more in life.
5) Be Realistic In Your Expectations.
There is no perfect person in this world, so there is no reason to wait till you see a perfect one to commit to.
You only have to find someone better to build your relationship with. That what other happy couples did.
Relationships are built from the scratch, so don’t expect a perfect person or relationship. Determine to get in, and then work to make your relationship mature gradually.
7) Forgive And Forget.
It is interesting to know that people offended you, broke your heart, or stepped on your toes earlier in life, but you won’t let that hold you down for a long time.
Forgiving them and then forgetting their hurts will help you move forward in life.
Forgetting the pasts will keep your memory from clutter and will give you room to think about the best for your life.
This is why you should decide today to let bygone be bygone so you could move on.
8) Think Of The Benefits.
“Fear has a torment,” and it can keep you from achieving your goals.
When you look back and see all that is being stolen from you by fear, you’ll be quick to let it go.
In order words, don’t allow your resistance to a relationship overshadow all the benefits you are bound to enjoy.
Always have in mind that living in fear will hinder you from living your best life, which will help you to think twice before you discard any relationship again.
Conclusion.
You can break your fear of commitment today if you follow some steps I explained in this article.
Although it won’t be easy, it will pay off, at last, when you succeed in breaking the fear.