This article was written as my personal marriage advice for newlyweds. To help them build a happy marriage. However, it will still be a good help to all those that are still on their way to join the train of marriage.
I decided to call this article ” my marriage advice for newlyweds” because it was all from my personal experiences as a married man and I am sure you will learn something from here too.
Why did I say so?
I said this because I am sure you have so many wishes for your marriage as well as fears. You have dreams because you are married to the one you love so much and desire to be together for the rest of your life, and fears because you have heard so much advice from people about how sweet and bitter a marriage can be.
In this for marriage advice for newlyweds, I want to take some time to demystify marriage for you so it will give you the confidence to hold your head up high and your chest up as you take your journey into this institution.
If you are ready for this ride, then get yourself a good cup of coffee or anything that gives you solace, and let’s get to business now.
Definitive Advice To Newlyweds
Now the wedding is over, so what next?
It is so wonderful your wedding has come and gone successfully; welcome to another life’s journey. Life after courtship and wedding is a different life altogether when compared with married life.
While you were still single, there were things you loved to do, there are places you love to go and there is the type of friends you love to move with. Those things were very easy for you to do because it was you and only you, now the system has changed, it is no more “I” it is “we”.
As a newlywed couple, just understand that wedding simply ushered you into the start of a new type of life. Now you have taken those huge steps of planning and executing your wedding, there will be a different type of life for you henceforth.
Adjust To The New Life
Now you have to start adjusting to this new life as a married person; there is no doubt things may be so overwhelming from this point on, but with a personal determination, you can make your marriage strong and successful too, and I am sure you will achieve it since you are reading this my special advice to newlyweds, of which you are one of them.
As I said initially, it is now the life of two people and not just you. And these two people are two unique people, with different personalities, different backgrounds, different parents and maybe different ethnic groups, so there is bound to be agreements and disagreements too. This is the reason you need to plan how you want your marriage to be from this moment.
Marriage is not bound by any chain, it takes the tiny threads of activities that take place as the couple moves to maturity to make it work. That simply shows that happy marriage doesn’t just come to be; there must be crises and disagreement, and at times unexpected conflicts will show up after the wedding or after some years of marriage.
You decide what happens
However, the type of marriage you will have depends on the type of person you are and how committed you pledged to be.
If this adjustment is done properly with more satisfaction rather than distress, then you will expect the joy of a happy marriage, but if your adjustments are with dissatisfaction and bitterness about your life, then work on changing lots of things before the happiness will come.
Although this sounds like rocket science, it is easier than you think. Remember, this is my advice to newlyweds who wants to start their marriage journey on very solid ground.
My personal experiences
But it is not a rule, they are just suggestions based on my personal experiences, and there are bound to be some exceptions to how it will work in your marriage since marriages are not created equal. But since it has worked for others, I also believe it will work for you.
Here are quick tips to follow
My Marriage Advice For Newlyweds: Step One
- Write down five reasons why you chose to marry: This has always been my first advice to the newlyweds that I have ever worked with. This is because I believe the best advice is the one you give to yourself; I also believed things work better when you know the reasons for your actions. So write them down and paste it in a place you will always see it. That will be a reminder and your personal mission statement
Your list will look something like this:
- I want to marry because I’ve found the love of my life: It will amaze you to know that people have different reasons why they get married, some because they are forced to do that and some others because they think other people are getting married and they are not.
Because of these different attitudes of marriage, many things will not be done right. But when you marry because you found the love of your life, then you are sure of how to move on.
- I married because I want someone to spend my whole life with: It is good you know from the beginning that marriage is not for a specific time, it is a lifetime investment, so there is no room to make a change.
Remember your vows
Remember when you were still saying your marriage vow, it was for better and for worse; this is simply to make you understand that while there is a better thing that comes with marriage, there is also the worst part of it, but you are expected to stand your ground. This will make you plan well on how to move forward even during the worst moment.
Your list could be endless; you know your reasons so write them down.
- Write down five ways you want to live your married life: As I said earlier, you hold the key to the success of failure of your marriage. Since you want to have a successful marriage, it is good you plan from this very moment how you want to live your married life.
Decide from this moment the type of friend you want to keep, having in mind that friends can heal or destroy any marriage, decide on the type of sacrifices you will make just to see that everything is going on well.
Things may look stupid
Within a few years of your adjustments to married life, there could sometime be a moment of confusion about how things are going between you and your spouse. It may look as if all your dreams are not coming to pass and the thing is completely opposite of what you have planned.
Sometimes you may be forced to ask yourself if you have made the wrong choice. Those are the moments you will bring out your list and reassure yourself that you will have to make some sacrifices so that your marriage will stand. So get to work now and write down those ways you should go.
Write it down
- Write down five reasons you don’t want a divorce: Divorce is the worst thing that can happen to any marriage and I know you don’t want it too. You can’t stand to lose the love of your life; so is everybody, even those that are divorced today did not have that as one of their plans during their wedding, and yet it happened.
That means it can come to anybody. But if divorce is an option, why are there people that stay married for the rest of their lives? That means there are things they did that the divorced did not do. To bulletproof your own marriage from the divorce you have to write down that reason you will not divorce your spouse. The list will be a good help to you in the future.
Now you have known the end from the beginning; you are now sure where your marriage is going, you have made your marriage foundation firm and now it is time to advance.
My Marriage Advice For newlyweds: Step Two
Lay a good foundation for your marriage
You have finally finished writing down all you need to know about your marriage, it is now time to lay a good foundation for your marriage.