q . There are so many questions to ask before married, but most people get stocked in the sweetness of their romance that they forget to ask these questions before getting hooked up at last.
These are the reason for most problems couples usually experienced after sometimes in their relationship.
Relationship experts said that the recipe for happily ever after is “being able to break out of that day-to-day zone and have meaningful, honest conversations about your personalities and your values—the ones you share and the ones you disagree on. And, where you’re willing to compromise”.
Since marriage means taking a step forward from a mere relationship there’s need to ask each other some important question, at least to know each other a little bit better hooking up at last.
Truth is that the more you acquaint with one another, the better you know if you are ready for taking the next step which is marriage.
You’ll agree with me that marriage always brings new obstacles and challenges which erupts after some years. Most couples are ignorant of what to do to avoid such problems.
And so if you are planning to get married any moment from now, I implore you to sit down with your would be a partner and ask each other questions about the past, present, and future of your relationship.
Starting the conversation may be a big challenge to you, and so to aid you to get over your fears of starting the conversation that will help you start your marriage in a secure foundation I have written down in this post some important questions to ask at before you get married.
What these questions will help you achieve.
- You will be abreast of most of all the problems that may come in future:- Most of the marriages never succeeded because of problems that come up later in the relationship, and most of them would have been abated if there’s good acquaintance between couples.
Taking time to ask questions before marriage will keep you abreast of the troubles because you’ll be able to know if you are compatible with each other.
- You’ll know each other better:- Coming together to share your past, present and future also give you opportunities to know yourselves better. John Gutmann, one of the prolific marriage researchers found out from his research that marriage lasts longer when couples know each other better.
- Gives you opportunities to plan your marriage:- Asking questions gives you the opportunity to plan ahead. The answers from both show you what will work or will not work in your relationship. Knowing that makes you plan ahead.
- Know your compatibility statues:-By asking these questions, you’ll understand if both of you are compatible with each other. Thus prevents future problems.
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You have great benefits when you ask these questions before marriage so let’s go ahead as look at what the important questions are.
13 Important Questions to Ask Before Getting Married.
1) Why do you choose me among all?
Your first question should base on understanding why he/she is planning to marry you after seeing many other girls/boys.
If your fiance or fiancee finds this question hard to answer, then that may be a clear indication that things may not work out good for you in terms of marriage.
2) Do you really love me? If yes, then what attracted you to me?:-
Before someone decides to ask for your hands in marriage, something about you may have interested him or her.
Take time to tell yourselves what attracted you to each other. What do you admire about him/her physical appearance, character, etc? Be open as you talk about this, do not hide anything and remember that hoping that something about him/her will change later may be disastrous for you in the future.
3) Are you ready to prioritize our marriage?:-
This question lets you know what values your partner placed in your relationship. If other things will come before your marriage, then be ready for the troubles that will arise later.
4) Are you in any debt?:-
A research conducted in 2018 by the ” Pew Research Center” shows that money is the number one reason couples fight.
Therefore, before you get married, have a discussion about your finances: if you have any old debts, be free to share it as this will help you plan well on how to avoid going into more debt through irrelevant spending.
Have a full discussion about this. talk about when, where and how many children you’ll want to have together.
Also, talk about how or what you should do when there’s a delay in childbearing.
6) How Do We Handle Conflict and Challenges?
Research proves that arguing and confrontation are not bad for marriage, however, the most important thing is how to deal with them.
The ability to settle your disputes and confrontation will clearly show how compatible both of you are.
Discuss how to resolve your differences as well as what you should do if there’s a need to visit a therapist to help or not.
7) What’s your spending habits?:-
Some people know the importance of saving money, while many others don’t, they prefer to shop, buy costly things.
Having different spending habits will bring disagreements between you too. So it is important you talk it over as you are planning to take the big step. Discuss how to create a family budget and how to take care of other financial issues.
8) How do you relate with Your Family?
Ask questions about how to relate with family and extended families and always have in mind that when you get married, you are married into a family.
9) How do you want to spend your time alone to be happy?:-
Talk about your time together and times apart.
Remember everyone needs time to think, read or reflect on personal life. So ask your partner how he/she prefers to observe the time apart to be happy.
10) What role does religion play in you? :-
There’s a tendency that two of you may come from different religious backgrounds, and if there’s no harmony, there will be troubles, and so talk about it.
Would there be a need for each of you to concentrate on your individual religious affiliation or not?
What would the children’s religion be like also?.
11) Marriage is for better for worse, are we prepared for it?:-
Marriage is not always rosy, there are times, weeks, months when things will look chaotic, but you have chosen to stand your ground no matter what.
Sometimes also you want to stay put, Be sure that your fiance/fiancee is also ready to go through all with you.
12) How do we share the household chores? In some relationships, the whole chores are usually left for the women. Of course, men are expected to also help out when the chores are too many for the women.
If you didn’t talk about it earlier it may be hard to define who does what when the time comes.
13) “What Are Your Aspirations and Dreams?”
It is good to talk about your desires, dreams, and aspirations.
Though it changes sometimes, you can ask about what your partner loves to do, be or have as well as where he/she want to be or travel. It’s also good to know if you and your partner are willing to make sacrifices for each other.
Finally, you’ll have to take some time and think about other important questions to ask before marriage. These questions will give you an edge over the problems that could arise in your marriage later. I have listed 13 of the questions to help you.
Read the post carefully and be willing to ask these questions without fear or shame.
I am still your friend ikenna Uchegbu ( murphyaik)
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