Dealing with trust issues in your relationship
Do everything you can to avoid having trust issues in your relationship because it is hard to rebuild once it’s fractured.
What is Trust?
“Trust is the act of having full confidence in someone or something.”
Dictionary.com describes trust as “reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.”
There are so many things that can cause trust issues in your relationship, your quick wins are to avoid those things entirely.
Here Are The Main Causes Of Broken Trust In Relationships.
Below are the main causes of broken trust in any relationship, however, If you can avoid these few things, you will not have problems.
You may want to tell a little white just to avoid hurting your partners, but you are causing great harm to your relationship.
Lies are the commonest sin we commit, and it is a great destroyer of relationships. It is a form of deception and you know that deception implies making fake promises, exaggerations in order to gain some cheap wins.
The problem with telling lies is that you have to tell other lies to keep up with the former lies and the moment your partner finds out, there will be a big trust issue.
Infidelity is a sin against God and against your relationship too. Those few seconds of enjoyment can destroy your relationship in a twinkle of an eye.
Your partner feels so unloved and betrayed immediately they find out that you have cheated on them. That also kills trust, because your partner will not easily believe you again because of that common mistake.
You have promised to fix the electric bulb in the kitchen, the bathroom tap, or to meet each other by 10 and you got there by 10: 45.
Those failed promises are enough to make your partner not to believe your words again.
– keeping secrets:
This is another trust destroyer and many of us are also a victim of that. Research conducted recently proved that some percentage of couples are keeping some major secrets from their partners; like infidelity, money issues.
Most times you may not see it as being secretive, to you, you are just keeping some privacy, however, your partner is not comfortable with that.
The worst will happen when your partner finds out what you are keeping important things from then. That’s big trouble.
– “Invasion of privacy.” :
Invading someone’s privacy means intrusion upon someone’s request to be alone. You secretly search your partner’s phone, check their emails, or eavesdropping into your partner’s phone conversations.
Your partner will feel bad when he finds out you are monitoring him. That’s a breach of trust.
The truth is that you can’t avoid all these, but you can deal with trust issues in your relationship and get the situation checked.
I will reveal all the tricks to deal with trust issues in this post.
Signs You Have Trust Issues:
If you see these signs, it is obvious that you have trust issues.
When People Sees You as Unforgiven and Self- righteous:
You have a personality that is unforgiving, and really you wish to forgive and forget, but the personality won’t let you.
You know the date and time they hurt you and that makes it hard for you to associate with anybody because you are afraid of being hurt again.
It has completely changed the way you respond to people and situations.
That’s a good sign, you are having trust-related issues.
When You See The Little Mistakes As A Breach Of Trust:
Whenever you start seeing your partner’s little mistakes as a breach of trust, that’s a red flag of big trust issues.
To you, the affirmation that nobody is perfect doesn’t exist, because you expect everyone to be perfect, and when they fail, it becomes a big issue.
For example, if he/she mistakenly come home late, you call it “having an affair outside, if he raises his voice, he doesn’t love you anymore, etc.
You assume your partner is guilty of what they never thought of. That’s incredible.
you Feel Unworthy Of Love And Trust:
Your past relationships have left you a big scare in your heart and now you feel uncomfortable, unloved, and insecure to be in any relationship.
Because you were rejected, you lost your self-esteem and you feel unease, these are the signs of lack of trust.
You Trust Easily And You Trust People Blindly Too:
When you are having trust issues, you may fall victim to trusting the wrong people, who will only take advantage of your ignorance, and you can also trust people who can’t earn your trust.
Trust is supposed to be earned, so should extend your hands of trust first and watch them work to earn.
Fear and Loneliness Sets In:
“Fear has torments.” and it becomes you when you yield to it always. Your fear that people will hurt you has kept you from relating to your friends.
You always believe everyone is against you and want to hurt you, now you isolate yourself and then become an island and then sooner or later you become distressed and lonely.
You Always Assume Evil From People:
When you find yourself overprotective, and shielding yourself so people don’t harm you even when nobody plans to do so.
Probably, because you past hurtful experiences, you are careful not to be hurt again. These are the signs of a lack of trust.
Dealing with trust issues in your relationship:
1) Learn To Forgive:
You have to forgive and forget all the past and move forward until you do, it may not be that easy, but that’s the first step to dealing with trust issues in your relationship.
The only thing that can hinder your plans from working is resentment. It is good to get angry when your loved one wrongs you.
It is good to be angry when you are wronged by your loved ones, but you shouldn’t allow the anger to dominate you. Lack of forgiveness and your inability to forgive is the reason for your trust issues.
When you let go of your resentments, your heart will be free to forgive and forget all your hurts.
2) Don’t Go Back Doing The Same Thing:
Of you are the cause of the problem, then you have to make up your mind not to repeat the same thing that brought the issue at hand.
You may be forgiven at your first, second, or third mistake, if you keep doing the same thing over and over again, you make your partner look like a full for forgiving you.
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. How many times would you forgive when they hurt you many times?
3) Have A Second Thought Before You Act:
Now you are planning to get trust back in your relationship, it is imperative you get ready to be your best and remove everything that’s responsible for draining trust among you. Probably you don’t consider the effect of your actions before acting.
If you continue the same way as before, you will not get good results. If you will change today, you will see trust coming back. The tricks are to think twice before doing anything, weigh the pros and cons and then know which is better for you.
4) Update Your Emotional Bank Account:
According to Steven Covey, in his emotional bank account principle, if you are having trust issues, it means you have withdrawn heavily from your trust emotional bank account.
In order words, to deal with your trust issues, you have to make enough deposits into the account too.
How Would You Do That?
Patch the holes you’ve already created. If you have been failing in your promises, change, stop keeping secrets, correct all your mistakes.
5) Face Your Fears:
The fears that your partner will hurt you as someone else did is the reason you can’t trust again. But if you want to be free trust matters, then you’ve got to face your fears.
Firstly, you have to open up your mind to give and receive love, “because what you give is what you get.”
Secondly, you should always expect to get the best and not vice versa, a positive mindset always wins.
6) Understand That Your Former Partner Broke Your Heart Doesn’t Mean This Will Do The Same:
This is easier said than done, but the truth remains that everyone is unique if your former partner broke your trust, your current partner may be different, and may treat you better
All you should do is to give him or her the chance to show who they are. Be ready also to give your best for your relationship.
7) Work On Knowing Your Partner Better:
You may be right that your partner is not trustworthy, how what if that’s just your assumption?
He/she may not the picture you painted, he may be the opposite. You should work on knowing your better half better, which will help you know his or her capabilities.
Probably, he actually goes to board meetings when said so, or didn’t break the glass when he said he didn’t.
That will work when you want to heal your trust issues.
If you are looking for ways of dealing with trust issues in your relationship, you have to follow the steps I have pointed out to you. You must understand that building trust is not as easy as breaking it.
You should be ready to sacrifice many things to earn back the trust you breached. It will take time, but it will work. Just be consistent and expect it to come back fully.
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