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Author: Aik

The most important first date advice for you

The most important first date advice for you

first date advice, first date tips

 

So you are planning your first date, then here is some important first date advice for you.

 

Read this post carefully, and you are sure to get your next date right this time.

 

After reading this, you will learn why your first dates failed, then I will show you how to have the best first date.

 

The outcome of your first date will to a great extent shows the next steps to go.

 

You have to be careful now so you don’t spill the beans. Thankfully I am here to guide you. In this article, I will share some important first date advice with you.

 

If this is what you want to learn, then let’s get to it.

 

Learn how to double your dating in 30 days.

 

The Most Important First Date Advice For You.

 

Fist date advice step one: Prepare Yourself For The Occasion:

Your first step to having a tremendous first date experience is to get yourself ready for it. It will not take you a year, neither would you have a preparatory class because of it.

 

Meanwhile, you should be ready for it. Take your shower and dress up properly. Wear your makeup and sweet perfumes.

 

Also, be ready to mingle with someone you are hoping to know more about in the future.

 

Be prepared for the question and answer sections of your meeting. Listening is also part of the game, so pay attention when you should too.

 

Dress to kill. Let your dressing create that first impression on your friend’s mind that you are elegant and a lovely person. As your friends when you are ready to go and be prepared to make some changes if necessary.

 

First date advice two: Choose The Best Location For Your Date

The choice of location for your first date is as important as the date itself; if you choose right, then you will have the best date.

 

So take your time to select a good place that will suit you and your new date.

 

It’s best to choose a natural place to avoid distractions, then concentrate on knowing each other better.

 

300 Creative Dating by Oprah Dating And Relationship Expert

 

However, if you already know what your partner likes, it will be easier to choose a location related to that.

 

I will suggest places like – cinema, parks, beach, restaurant, museum, and any other places that suit you.

 

Remember that your relationship depends on the outcome of your first date. Make this a memorable date from the beginning.

 

Courtship, going out,

First date advice three: Choose What To Talk About During Your Date:

Now you’ve decided where to go for your next date, the next this is to decide what to talk about.

 

If you want that day to be remarkable, then there is a need to consider your first date conversation topic.

 

Decide what to talk about to keep the conversation going and interesting as well.

 

Nothing is frustrating as being on the first date and not having much to say to each other. Everywhere will be dull and the date uninteresting.

 

That can make you feel reluctant to go on a date again with the same person.

 

On the flip side of it, find a way to keep the conversation going, and you will always wish to have more times to stay together.

 

Let your conversation be a two-way thing and light. Don’t discuss politics, or about your past relationships. You are here to enjoy yourselves and nothing else.

 

First date advice Four: Be Original:

Quote:

“Be original. That’s my best advice. You’re going to find that there’s something you do well and try to do it with as much originality as you can, and don’t skimp on the words. Work on the words.”

 

One of the mistakes you should avoid making on your first date is pretending to be who you are not.

 

Unfortunately, trying to be who you are not to get your dates’ attention will only work for a while; once they find that out, you will regret it for the rest of your life.

 

If you want to get a second date, or probably get your relationship to another level, keep things simple and original.

 

Don’t talk, catwalk, dress, or pretend to be Will Smith’s brother or sister just to get attention;  that will only work for a while. Be you.

 

first date advice, dating advice, dating tips

First date advice Five: Be There On Time;

This is the most important first date advice to note. Being at the venue of your first date on time is also as important as the date itself.

 

I have seen many relationships failed because of time management. If you haven’t learned how to manage your time, let it be one thing you put more attention to.

 

It is very much important to show up on time at any time you have a date. So whether you are seeing a movie, eating out, or going out for a walk, if you don’t consistently show up on time, it will not tell good of you.

 

It shows you, potential partner, that you aren’t some to rely on. Is that what you want to portray at the beginning of your relationship?

I hope not.

 

So get to work and learn the time management skills so it won’t stymie your relationship.

 

First date advice 6: Maintain Your Boundaries:

Going on a date with someone you are yet to know could be so challenging this is the reason you should be ready to uphold your boundaries.

 

Your boundaries show your intending spouse what you like or don’t want during the first date.

 

It’s important to uphold your boundaries and keep watch how your date respects it; if he respects it,  then relax and enjoy your first date. If not, then that’s the red flag.

 

There is every need to feel safe on your first date, so don’t neglect it and whatever you should do to be safe.

 

Don’t be afraid to say no to any pressure from your date. Your best relationship is still on the way.

 

First date advice seven:  Don’t Tell Everything About Yourself:

It’s surely your first date and you want to enjoy it to the fullest. With the joy of being with someone new, you may want to tell all about you on your new date.

 

Just wait a minute: although it is not a crime if you do, meanwhile, let it be a puzzle to your friend.

 

Give them that opportunity to find out about you themselves. It will be fun if they find it out gradually. Dont you think so?

 

First date advice eight: Have Fun All The Way

The first date is always an enjoyable moment so have fun.

 

Don’t hold anything back. Enjoy all you can. If you date dressed pretty well, tell him/her.

 

If the venue is nice, say that and complement your new date for the right choice of venue.

 

Remember to be truthful and open about whatever you will say during your conversations.

 

If you are not clear about anything he said, then ask questions.

 

What Should You Not Do On Your First Date?

In as much as your first date should be the most enjoyable day, there are things you shouldn’t do on this very day, and I will show you in a minute.

 

Never be late:

I’ve already shown you the importance of getting there early. Unfortunately, many advisers said it is good to be late to your first date. No, that’s a lie.

 

Being late shows you can’t manage your time properly. To prevent that, get ready on time and set out early too.

 

Relationship, courtship

Don’t Forget Your Manners:

Behave yourself throughout your first date. Don’t give your partner the reasons to wonder if you are worth dating or not.

 

That simply means you should take precautions in what you say, do, and all your actions.

 

Remember To Go Alone:

The appointment is just for two, don’t invite anybody to the special occasion, which is meant just for two, not for two or more.

 

Leave the group outing for the next time. Go and have fun with your new date.

 

Keep Your Phone Down:

It would be well to switch your phone off and concentrate on your date. You can look at it after your special occasion.

 

The best way to show your partner how interested you are in your relationship is to concentrate.

 

Now you know what you should or should not do during your first date, let’s look at another important question:

 

Is It Right To Kiss On Your First Date? 

If you are asking this same question, then here are the simplest answers to that question.

 

There is nothing wrong with kissing on your first date. It is not bad and it is not a sin. If the environment is okay for you; there is no special rule.

 

Many people prefer to go have sex on their first date, that’s what they want, and if their body chemistry gives them the go-ahead, nobody can stop you.

 

Meanwhile, let the kissing not come early or in the middle, let it be the last thing before you leave the venue.

 

Conclusion:

These are my first date tips for you. They are all from my perspective, but they are surely the best advice you can rely on to have the best first date experience.

 

Which of the steps would you take first to get the most out of your first date?

 

We are waiting to hear from you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quick steps to overcome fear of commitment

Quick steps to overcome fear of commitment

fear of commitment

 

Have you been overwhelmed by the fear of commitment?

 

If yes, then you are not alone secondly, so many people are going through some commitment phobias as am writing this post now.

 

You only don’t have to let it linger without tackling it, otherwise, it will become a big problem for you.

 

However, I won’t let it happen to you.

 

That’s why I am here to guide you, and I will show you the steps by step to overcoming your commitment phobia faster.

 

If you are ready, let’s dive in.

 

What Is The Fear Of Commitment?

 

It simply means being afraid of a long term relationship.

 

You’ve been in a relationship for a long time and you don’t have any plans to take it to commit to that relationship.

 

That is a sign of being afraid to commit to relationships.

 

 

Below Are Few Other Signs.

 

Few Reasons For Your Fear Of Commitment.

 

High Expectations.

You have a long list of what you want in a spouse, but nobody has been able to meet up with your list because they are unrealistic.

 

Of course, it is great to dream big, think big, and expect high, but it is not proper to have unrealistic expectations, because you will be frustrated if it fails to happen.

 

Take time and review your list, and delete the number that says “getting a perfect spouse,” because that can’t happen since nobody is perfect, even you.

 

Afraid to commit, commitment issues

Fear.

You’ve gone through a lot in the past, probably someone dumped you, and you are afraid to pass through that again.

 

Now you see every relationship as not safe, and the fear of another heartbreak is holding you back.

 

Meanwhile, to move forward, you have to forget the past and move on.

 

If not, it will make you wait a long time; but if you free your mind, there will be good space to accommodate new things.

 

You Are A Mum’s Pet.

Mum said “it’s not yet time.” she said you should look for a tall, handsome/ beautiful person.

The question is ” what do you want?

 

If you are a mum’s pet, and you can’t stand or take decisions for yourself, it will hinder you from achieving many things.

 

Many times, you will be afraid to discuss certain things with your date because you are sure your mum won’t approve of it.

 

You have to take all the decisions for yourself if you should move up with life.

 

Childhood Trauma.

Studies show that your childhood experiences can seriously affect your life and health in the future.

 

Many experiences as you were growing up can cause you so much harm now.

 

Probably your parent’s marriage didn’t work well and it affected your emotions, you have lost faith in relationships.

 

Nothing will change until you delete that from your mind.

 

Understand that you are different from your parents and your marriage won’t fail like their own.

 

Signs of Fear Of Commitment.

 

You are afraid of being hurt again.

Your last relationship didn’t end well and your heart was broken so you are not sure what the next relationship will look like.

 

That’s why you are afraid to date or get married again.

 

This has hindered so many people from moving forward. If you don’t tackle it on time too you’ll see its impacts.

 

So the best you can do from this moment is to drop the baggage so you can move on.

 

Your Relationships Don’t Last.

You have gone into relationships before, but none of them lasted. That’s because you never put your best.

 

None of them ended on a good note and you know the faults are from you.

 

It is not a fault to break up from a relationship, but it is wrong when the breakup is a result of selfish reasons.

 

Perhaps, you don’t care about the relationship or your partner’s feelings, and you are not ready to commit.

 

To save the situation, you will have to decide to redress your step. Life is too short not to get serious in things that matter. Else you want to remain single for the rest of your life.

 

Fear of commitment

You Hold On To Any Little Flaw.

Let’s get this straight, you have a good grade at finding fault, and no matter how small the fault is, you magnify it, so you can have a way of escape.

 

For example, when you complain about his complexion, or about his not being fluent in your native language.

 

Sometimes, it’s just because he/she doesn’t dress properly.

 

Those are not a cogent reason to dump someone, but when you do so because of these trivial matters, then that’s a big sign of commitment.

 

You Don’t Regard For Emotional Connection, but Sex.

Have you heard the term playboy? or playgirl? that’s who you are.

 

All you care about is sex and you don’t mind pretending to love your mate just to sleep with them even when you know that you are not ready to commit.

 

And once you succeed in having sex with him/her, then the relationship is almost over.

 

However, if you want your relationship to survive, you have to be ready to connect emotionally with your partner.

 

Sex should be the cord that binds you together and not the priority.

 

The solution is to take your time to build intimacy with your partner, that’s when you know you are ready to overcome the fear of commitment.

 

Now that you know the signs of fear of commitment, let’s look at how you can overcome it.

 

 How To Overcome Fear Of Commitment.

1) Identify The Root Of It All.

Your first step to overcoming your fear  of commitment is to find the root of all your fear,

 

What is the reason you don’t want to commit? When did it start?

 

These are the first step to solving your problems. If you can find the root, then you are halfway to dealing with it, if not it will be hard to deal with.

 

Feel free to look back to the time it started, maybe you will know why things are the way it is now and then looks for the best tricks to employ in solving the problem.

 

2) Write It Down  On Your Goal Worksheet:

You must write your goals on a worksheet. This will help you achieve your goals faster.

 

As you are struggling to overcome your fear of commitment, so many things will try to discourage you; but you will be refreshed when you look at your written goal and see the reasons you wished to stop it.

 

And you will be motivated when you look at the list and see that you are making good progress.

 

3) Take Action.

Writing down your goal won’t be appropriate if there’s no plan of action. Therefore your next step should be to take action immediately.

 

Conquering your fears won’t be a waste of time, especially when you know the benefits.

 

Since you are sure of accomplishing your relationship tasks after conquering your commitment phobia, then you have to swift to action at once.

 

4) Make Friends With Successful Couples.

The next step to overcome your fears of commitment is to surround yourself with other people in a successful relationship.

 

By surrounding yourself with these types of people, you will learn from them.

 

According to research, those who mingle with people in a bad relationship usually find themselves behaving the same way.

 

Meanwhile surrounding yourself with successful couples makes you successful also, therefore make it a point of duty to change your lifestyle, if you want to achieve more in life.

Marriage, couples

 

5) Be Realistic In Your Expectations.

There is no perfect person in this world, so there is no reason to wait till you see a perfect one to commit to.

 

You only have to find someone better to build your relationship with. That what other happy couples did.

 

Relationships are built from the scratch, so don’t expect a perfect person or relationship. Determine to get in, and then work to make your relationship mature gradually.

 

7) Forgive And Forget.

It is interesting to know that people offended you, broke your heart, or stepped on your toes earlier in life, but you won’t let that hold you down for a long time.

 

Forgiving them and then forgetting their hurts will help you move forward in life.

 

Forgetting the pasts will keep your memory from clutter and will give you room to think about the best for your life.

 

This is why you should decide today to let bygone be bygone so you could move on.

 

8) Think Of The Benefits.

“Fear has a torment,” and it can keep you from achieving your goals.

 

When you look back and see all that is being stolen from you by fear, you’ll be quick to let it go.

 

In order words, don’t allow your resistance to a relationship overshadow all the benefits you are bound to enjoy.

 

Always have in mind that living in fear will hinder you from living your best life, which will help you to think twice before you discard any relationship again.

 

Conclusion.

You can break your fear of commitment today if you follow some steps I explained in this article.

Although it won’t be easy, it will pay off, at last, when you succeed in breaking the fear.

15 ways to know if a Nigerian man is married

15 ways to know if a Nigerian man is married

ways to know if a Nigerian man is married

 

So you are looking for ways to know if a Nigerian man is married or not?

 

I commend you for that because it is a step in the right direction,

 

Here is why:

If you want to succeed in your relationship, you need to get ready before marriage. One of the steps to take at this point is to ask a few questions about whom you want to marry.

For example:

  • The background of your intending partner.
  • Ask about your suitor.
  • The traditional marriage rites.
  • The customs of the people.

These questions help you to determine if you should go on with the marriage or not.

 

In this article,  I will show you ways to know if a Nigerian man is married, and how to know if a Nigerian man is serious about you.

 

After reading this, you will know if he is serious about marrying you, or he is just playing you.

Let’s get into it

 

10 ways to know if a Nigerian man is married:

He Will Never Invite You To His House:

If you are dating an already married man, don’t expect him to invite you to his house because that will never happen, or else he is very serious about marrying, or he has probably divorced his wife.

 

No married man wants to destroy their marriage so they do everything to prevent you from visiting him at home.

 

However, if he wants to take you home, then there is another plan along the way, if not that’s a red flag.

 

Igbo man, marrying from africa

2) He Will Never Introduce You To His Household:

The last thing a Nigerian married man will do is to take you home or to his close friends or introduce you as a spouse.

 

If he is courageous to introduce you to his friends, then that’s as a business associate or friend.

 

What is the need to let yourself be addressed as who you are not because you are dating married men?

 

There’s are many men out there to date than are still single. Be patient, you will surely find one.

 

3) Your Mind Tell You That:

Some times, you may not have to wait till you see a sign to know that a Nigerian man is married, you have to listen to your intuition.

 

If it has been occurring to you that something is not right with that guy, then listen to your mind.

It may be a good sign to note.

 

4) He Only Takes You To Secluded Places:

The man that loves you and wants to be identified with you will always be bold to brandish you.

 

They are not afraid to be seen anywhere with you. But a married Nigerian man will only take you to a secluded place.

 

He wouldn’t like a crowded place so as not to be seen by anyone. If your man behaves that way, he has a skeleton in the cupboard.

That may be a sign that he is married.

 

5) You won’t Be His Friend On Social Media:

You have sent countless friend requests to this guy on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media sites, but he is not responding to it.

 

The last time you checked his profile he was seen a few hours ago, yet he hasn’t accepted you, and he will always have a reason for his actions.

 

He is not even ready to share any picture of you on his status too. Something is not right, maybe he is not proud to have you as a friend or he is afraid someone will ask questions.

Such is a clear sign of secrecy.

 

Talk to him about it connecting with you and if he still not accepting your requests, run for your life.

 

6) No Plan To Have A Future With You:

You will never hear him talk of any plan to commit to you and he will not want you to talk about it too.

 

He can buy you gifts, give you any amount of money you care for. You can vouch that he loves you, but when it comes to settling down with you, that won’t happen.

 

No married man wants to discuss marriage with their side chick, so if there are no other reasons you know why he is not settling down with you, it may be that he is not single.

 

ways to know if a Nigerian man is married

7) He Can Dump You Any Time:

Understand that you don’t have any future with this guy, since you won’t be his wife.

 

He can only date you for sex, and he is ready to spoil you to get what he wants.

 

Immediately after this goal is achieved, his phone number becomes unavailable, or he gives repertoires of reasons why he won’t keep your next date.

 

Although this is a good sign to note, yet it is learning the hard way.

 

To be on the safe side, ask him about marriage early, and then decide what to do next.

 

 

8) Check His Fingers:

The first place to look at when a man is approaching you for a relationship is his fingers, especially the second to the last finger in his left hand.

 

If he is married, there will be a ring on the 4th finger. However, most men will hide their fingers if they want to play tricks on you.

 

Let that be your duty to continue searching until you see that red flag.

 

But that will be very difficult if he has ulterior motives. He may move the ring to the other finger and claim it is an ordinary ring or put it off entirely.

 

You will see the ring mark on his finger if you look closely.

 

9) Search His Details On The Internet:

We are in a digital world where you get everything you want at the click of a button. You shouldn’t go for a long distance to know whatever you want to know.

 

Pick up your laptop or phone and search him up on social media, you will be amazed at what you will find.

 

No matter how smart he is, you will find a loophole.

 

He may be too careful to cover his parts well, but the spouse and the children can leave a trace for you. So start your search from this moment.

10) Forget About Touching His Phone:

No matter how friendly you are with him, he will never let you touch his phone.

 

There is always a strong password to keep you out of it and no matter how smart you are, you can’t have access to it.

 

There are so many things to hide from you in there so keep off. But that’s one of the ways to know if a Nigerian man is married.

 

If he is still single, he wouldn’t hide anything from you especially when the relationship is still young and fresh.

 

11) It Will Take Him Too Long To Answer Your Questions About Hos Marital Status:

Have you tried ascertaining his marital status lately? If not, try it out this time. If he takes time to answer that, then something is fishy.

 

It could be that he is afraid to commit or he just didn’t want to let the cat out.

 

A clever man who wants to play you will tell you that he is single just to have his ways, meanwhile, the way the answers came will show you what to believe. I wish you good luck as you find this out.

 

12) He Prefers The Odd hours:

Only the evils love to operate in the night. There may be reasons he is not visiting or take you out at the regular hours.

 

He must be up to something and if you look closely, you will find out that he is afraid to be spotted by his wife or anyone.

 

Check if this is his behavior and you have discovered another sign he is married.

 

13) He Will Never Stay The Night:

Watch this out from this moment, you will observe so many things that haven’t occurred to you.

An example is that he will never want to spend the night. He must go home irrespective of the time.

You will also notice that he start jittering at some point, that’s because he knew the families will be waiting for him to be home. Note down what you see and compare it with other times; it will become clear to you that he is hiding something from you.

 

14 Too Man Phone Calls and Lies:

Another simple way to find out if a Nigerian man is married is to observe how many calls he receives when he stays out.

 

Also, watch his expression after the calls, a lot may be revealed especially if the wife is not happy that he is not home yet.

 

 

15 ????????

 

Have you tried anything that worked for you? Add it as the 15th point.

 

Conclusion:

There are different ways to find out if a Nigerian man is married and I have written so many of the ways down for you, just to save you from mistakes.

Take time and read the post and then use the steps I shared with you here.

 

Which of the steps would you take first? Again, what would you do when you find out.