The best reason people get married is express the love they have for each other, grow and enjoy each other. Tweet this
However, most times, even in the mist of making things work properly for your marriage, you realize you are getting farther apart from each other. What are the reasons? You may ask.
Does your marriage happiness actually depend on your wives happiness?
Hear this! If you believe you are so much in charge in your marriage, then check yourself well before your marriage crumbles.
Why did I say that?
I found out from my research that marriage moves smoothly and becomes stronger, when you understand how to make your wife happy and it crumbles when your wife is not happy.
Dr Deborah Carr; A researcher from Rutgers University said this “The happier a wife is in her marriage, the more content the husband is whether he really is happy with the marriage or not”.
This also is related to the fact that a wife tends to do more if she is satisfied with her marriage. The reason for this is that a happy wife is very willing to “aim to please”
A happy wife will always try hard to create a more positive atmosphere for her spouse, she also provides emotional supports and she is also will offer to help the spouse with the daily activities.
Your happy wife will help to steady you when you are shaking, and will cheer you up when you are down in your spirit.
When a wife is not happy with the marriage, things becomes chaotic. Let me ask you this now; when was the last time you tried to do those things that will make your wife happy?
One thing is certain; if you think you are doing all you are supposed to do to make your marriage happy, and yet things are crumbling down faster than you know, then look back, there may be things you are doing that is destroying your wife, and also killing your marriage without you knowing it. Tweet This
In this article, I want to help you discover those things you are unknowingly doing that is destroying your wife killing your marriage too, and also tell you what to do.
Here they are 🙂
You are making other things come before her: –
Women always want to know that you love them the way you did when you saw the first time.
Now you focus on your work, your laptop, your smart phone, you prefer staying outside with your friends than coming home to stay with your wife. There is one single expression that describes you.
You are married to your work, laptop or phone. Doing all those things clearly shows her that she is not important in your life and this is a good step to disaster.
Am not saying you should give up your work because of your wife, but always make her know that she is more important than that job, your job should not be at the expense of you own family .
Always make her feel more important. If two of you are doing a full time job, find a way to talk with each other during the day. Making these changes will give her more time to make other worthwhile investments that will prosper your marriage.
Comparing her with others:-
Do you always compare your wife with other women;maybe you didn’t know it is hurting her so much. Tweet This
One day I was watching a movies; there was one woman in the movie that caught my attention (actress), I didn’t know when I opened my mouth to say that I love this woman; the only thing my wife said was ‘is she more beautiful than I?” that little statement alone made my wife to feel bad, notwithstanding that the actress is very far away from
What do you think will happen when you compare her with someone close to you? That alone will show her that you prefer other women to her.
Remember you saw thousands of other women before you chose to marry her. Give her the respect that is due for her. Tweet This
If you see other women and feel they are more beautiful than your wife, then understand it is your own duty to make your wife beautiful and attractive too.
This comparison thing is common in the world today and it sound so simple too, but it will turn the marriage table upside down if you don’t curb it on time.
Think about this! As a man, you and you wife is taking a stroll and your wife saw a man and say ‘wow! This man is so tall, handsome and how nice a woman will feel to be on his side” tell me how you will feel.
That is exactly how it is when you compare her with another.
You are not showing her enough love: –
Men usually think that women are more satisfied when they buy gifts to then or maybe give her a larger pay check. Of course they are; but they want something more than that.
They feel happier when your actions signify love to her. They want to see that you are grateful for having her as a wife. She wants you show her you are doing all the things you do just because of her.
Take some time today to make your wife feel loved by sending love massages to her in the day time, and get nice flowers to her when you are coming home.
Make eye contacts whenever she is discussing with her or when you are talking to her too.
Being the boss and not the husband:-
What type of spouse are you?a boss, or a soul mate. A soul mate is someone that cares and understands the feeling and emotions of the wife, but a boss husband is a dictator to the wife and the family as a whole. Of course men are made to be the head of the house, but not a commander.
Are you the type of man that wants all you said to be the final? When you roar, everybody must run. Your wife shivers whenever you are around. Why not purse for a while and consider your partner’s feelings.
This is what a client told me “I can’t forgive my husband; he is too domineering, he always want to be the man of the house; he is self-minded and never care about any other persons feeling”.
If you are that type of man you are unknowingly destroying your wife and killing your happy marriage.
You are not providing for your family:-
If you are the man of the house, it is expected that you will provide the basic needs of your family, whether your wife is working or not.
That means you have to do all you could to make sure your wife and your children are properly taken care of.
When you are not doing that, you are hurting your marriage. The bible said in the book of Timothy 5:8 “ if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for his family, he is worse than an infidel.
Let your number one financial objective be how your family can always have enough, no matter what is happening in your life.
When She cannot trust your words: –
Many of us have made promises to our spouse that we did not fulfill. I am a victim to that too.
Those little promises are good when you are sure you will do what you promised or your spouse will take it as one of your promises when you say even what you mean to fulfill.
When you promise to fix the kitchen tap the next day, get some glossaries from the supermarket, fix the toilet bulb,and make sure you have planes to make it happen.
At a time in my marriage I realized I have made so much withdrawals of trust from my marriage “emotional bank account” by making promises I did not fulfill.
When I realized it, I started making amend; by doing things that I should do without making any commitment. I started getting surprise gifts for her, and restore the trust. You can do the same too.
When you don’t care about her family: –
Women enjoy their marriage when they are sure their husbands care about their immediate family.
However, when you believe you are only married to your wife and you do not care about her parents and other siblings, she maybe dying in secret without you knowing. Start today to show concern about the things that matters to her family.
She cannot trust you:-
My wife told me point blank that the only thing that could make her feel bad is not telling her the truth always. “Promise to tell me the truth always”; she said and I will love you forever.
That is all 🙂
As simple as those words are, it is enough to make or mar a marriage.
If you really want a sweet and successful marriage, the best way to go about it is to make your wife trust you by your words.
Tell her the truth always.
One thing you must know about lies is that you must tell another lie to cover up the first, so why would you depend on telling lies when you can say the truth and that is all.
You may get away with lies every time; but one day your spouse will find it out and trust me, she will be very upset with you. Make it a point of duty to make your wife feel good. Make her understand you love and respect her and above all that she can trust every word you said.
You are holding back (physical) affections:–
One thing you must understand is that physical affection is far more than having sex with your spouse; it also comprises hugging your spouse, kissing, holding hands, sending love massages and of course having sex.
All those you did inside the house are important, but make your wife feel more loved by holding her hands as you take a stroll in the street. Hug her before going out in the morning; send love text massages to her while she is not there with you.
Tell her sweet things when you are with her. When you are holding back these things, your wife will think you are not in love with her.
You are not there when she needs you:–
Women want their hubby to be there always for them, and your wife is inclusive.
When she has something to tell, she want you to pay more attention to her, she need your shoulder to cry when she feel like crying.
When you are not there to provide a shoulder for her or listen to her, she definitely believes you don’t care about her emotions.
Believe me when I told you that men are outside there waiting to see women they will pamper.
If they have the opportunity, they will do that for you and you will lose her.
True life story 🙂
A woman hit her leg on a stone as she was walking down the street; a man was there and showed concern to her by taking her to a hospital.
When she called the husband, the husband was sorry at that time; but did not call her again to know how she was doing.
The other man called back again and again to know how she was feeling and that was all.
If you find it hard to care for your wife, there are plenty of others that will do so for you. Tweet This
You demand more from her:-
Back in the day, it was the responsibility of the men to fend for the family; it is not so now; women work also. After they stress of the day, everyone come home tied; but you still expect your wife to do the house chores and still give you dinner.
Think about it and understand that she is a human being like you. Help out where you can and let there be less stress for her.
Rounding up: –
It takes commitment to make a marriage happy. Your individual commitment matters. If you will choose to do more for your marriage to survive, you will definitely have successes.
However, you must have your spouse in mind as the other pivot that pulls your marriage. Know what makes her do more and what makes her draw back from her good works.
These are actually where her motivations are. Most of all make up your mind to stop doing those things that will hurt her because your wives happiness means the success of your marriage. Tweet This.
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