If you still find yourself comparing your spouse with others, then this post is for you.
Here’s what I mean
We all have some ideas about the kind of person we want to have as a partner.
Some of us wish for someone that is sound and intellectual, athletic, handsome, tall, and some prefer just a nice guy, jovial and understanding.
The fact is that even when we finally get married to that same person we have always desired, we still find ourselves comparing our spouse/ marriage with those around us.
Sometimes we find ourselves either knowingly or unknowingly telling ourselves that our neighbors wife or husband is better than our partner. But that will not help our relationship.
Here are a few negative things comparing your spouse/marriage can do to your relationship
– Studies conducted some years back shows that when you constantly remind someone of his / her failures and faults, time will come when he/she will be demoralized.
– You may find yourself resenting your partner and you are likely to start fantasizing about the Person you seem better your partner. And you know what that means.
Truth is that you don’t really know how exactly that person is, only the partner can tell. Forget the updates you See on the social media
they are just mirage, people post their best moments on social media, but once they are offline, they become lion on thieves skin.
Your partner may even be much better than what they are in their privacy and the worst thing you can do yourself is to compare yourself or your relationship with what you only believe is going on.
The only remedy is to quit comparing your spouse/marriage entirely and be contented with what you have.
However, if you are not sure how to stop the comparison game, here are 5 ways to go about it.
5 Ways to quit comparing your spouse/marriage with another.
1) Be satisfied within:- The first step to take is to be contented with what you have. Using the relationship outside to validate yours signifies you don’t have confidence in what you have.
No matter what you see other couples do outside, buy, just forget it and concentrate on making your own better too.
To be more confident, resist the temptation of using other couples relationships dictate your feelings.
You may be surprised when you find out that your is far more interesting than theirs.
Always understand that your relationship is unique. Concentrate more on the areas that are working perfectly well in your relationship and celebrate it.
Only positive attitudes can restore your relationship and make it enviable also.
2) Stop being jealous:- The main source for comparison is jealousy. Jealousy will make you feel bad when you see your FaceBook friend’s updates of a new car from a spouse or your neighbor taking his/ her partner out for a date.
The truth is that you can say no to jealousy all by yourself and change.
If your neighbors like to go on a date, plan yours too, if you get jealous when you see them hold hands, you can do the same. I just chose to change.
3) Focus only on What Works:- Your relationship will succeed if you choose to focus only on what is working for you and forget what’s not working.
Remember that you choose your partner among every other person you saw, that means you also chose to neglect his/her shortcomings.
Marriage works better when couples see each other as one and help each other to be stronger.
Remember, no marriage is perfect. No relationship is without fight or quarrels. It may look good outside, but each marriage has its own trouble.
As husband and wife, concentrating on achieving the best for your relationship and stop hurting it by comparing yourselves with the people around who knows how to patch the holes of their marriage.
4) ” Accept Reality”:- Now you have to know what destiny has in stock for you.
It has become obvious that your partner is not as romantic as your neighbor, your wife doesn’t cook good food and so On!.
All you need do is just to accept it and move on with your life after all you choose Him/her as your partner.
And never try to change your partner, because trying to change him/her will land you into more trouble, so accept it as it is.
5) Talk to your Partner:- Communication is an important part of every marriage but is often the hardest part. The reason is that everyone has different ways of thinking.
It’s always important to be very open and honest in your communication.
Tell him /her what you need or want in your marriage and listen to your partners needs also and be willing to meet it.
Good communication gives you the opportunity to know each other well as well as how to be the best for each other.
Remember not to nurse any grudge against your partner and always try to be kind and respectful even as you disagree in certain things.
Finally, quit comparing your spouse/ marriage with what you see others do outside. you may be disappointed at last when you realize that you are only making the greatest mistake.
Your marriage or your spouse is unique and what works for your marriage may not work in the other.
Concentrate on what works and celebrate your partner too.