At some point, most married couples will go through a period where one or both are not happy with the marriage. The signs may be subtle or quite strong, but in any event recognizing that you are not happy in marriage is a good and first step towards solving this problem.
Unfortunately, many divorce could be avoided if a person who is not happy in marriage chose a course of action that will lead to overcoming their unhappiness rather than just getting out of the marriage.
It’s understandable that feelings of unhappiness can drive someone to want to make such a change, but the truth is that most marriages actually grow stronger if they can find a way to deal with their feelings rather than leave.
5 Things to do when You are Not Happy with Marriage.
Here are five steps you can take which will help you overcome your unhappiness and stay in the marriage. Each of these steps will take a bit of courage on your part, but the result is certainly well worth the effort.
1) Identify the Problem:
What exactly is it that is making your marriage unhappy? You cannot communicate to your spouse unless you have a very strong idea of what it is. Take some time for self examination to reveal just what is causing your feelings.
2) Communicate Your Feelings from Your Point of View:
When you are unhappy in a marriage, your spouse should know about it. In fact, most spouses do know that something is wrong, but perhaps they didn’t want to verbalize it.
By communicating how you feel, it puts both of you on the same page. However, what you say should be from your point of view and not accusatory or inflaming such as, “I get angry when you do X.” when it should be, “I feel sad when I see you do X.” That tone allows your partner to engage and respond, not be pushed away.
While you cannot force your partner to change, you can focus on what could be done to help rectify the situation. I can start as small as “I’m going to hug you before I leave for work each day.” Such small gestures can really add up over time to bring more happiness to the marriage.
3) Cut Down on Distractions:
It is during these stressful times that we tend to get distracted because we are tired of feeling this way. While such thoughts are understandable, they pull away from working on the problem itself. Instead, you should be placing your relationship first and ditching the things that are pulling you away.
4) Get Professional Help:
A marriage therapist or couple counselor can provide a path towards pulling the marriage back together. A professional brings an outside viewpoint and can show you ways of communicating better with your spouse.
This can bring the both of you closer together so that your can be happy in the marriage again.
Being unhappy in a marriage is a sure sign of something being wrong. The more quickly you recognize the problem and take action, the better and happier you’ll be in the long run.
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