If you are planning to separate from your partner, then get yourself accustomed to the separation process in marriage that I will show you now.
Certainly, if you want to be successful in anything, you must not only know the principles that govern the result you seek but you must apply them.
So knowing the separation process before beginning the separation will give you an edge over your partner.
In this post, I will show you what the separation process looks like, how to start the separation process and the causes of separation in marriage.
Let’s dive in:-
Types of Marital Separation.
Separation in marriage can come in two different ways, however: Legal separation, trial separation, and permanent separation.
Legal separation:-
This happens whenever you and your partner think that you need to be apart from each other for some reason even as you consider divorce.
Legally, everything remains normal when you are in a trial separation.
All the things you have as a couple legally remain as it is. For example, the money you owe remains yours, though this depends on your state laws.
My advice to you is to have an informal agreement written about the rules of your separation as you decide to be apart from each other for some time.
Permanent Separation:-
This is when you and your partner live apart from each other with no plans of reconciliation, but you are not divorced.
The effects of permanent separation depend on where you reside. While some state if you acquire assets during permanent separation, you are the lone owner, but in some state, both of you owns it since you aren’t celebrated.
Immediately after a permanent separation, you and your partner become responsible for your actions. You automatically stop sharing both assets or anything.
Legal Separation:-
In most states, you can legally separate from each other by filings petition in a family court, but not in all states.
This is very different from divorce, now you are no more married, yet you are not divorced either.
Many people choose legal separation to divorce because of their religious beliefs, when there is a plan to get insurance benefits.
There are more reasons people go for legal separation instead of divorce. My advice to you if you plan legally separate because of insurance benefits is that you check the insurance plans well before making your decision.
What Is Separation In Marriage?
Separation in marriage is when two couple decides to stop living together without being divorced. This separation will be pending until you are pronounced divorced by the court.
Many people see separation as the end of a marriage, even when it’s a trial separation. We often believe that a separation process is a step for couples to end their marriage.
We see the separation process as the last resort after everything else has been tried to mend a relationship, but didn’t work.
Reasons For Separation In Marriage.
There are so many reasons couples can decide to separate from each other. Although these reasons may vary, however, we will be looking at the most common reasons.
- It may be the first step toward the divorce process and to determine if the divorce must be, or things become normal again.
- It may also be a kind of alternative to divorce for some reasons like economic, religious, and other reasons.
- Another reason for separation in marriage is when couples are having financial problems. Money is one of the things that cause problems in every relationship and can make husband and wife decide to separate.
- Some Couples can also choose to separate when they find out that they are not putting any effort to make their relationship better again. Normally, couples must work as a team for the success of their marriage, if not, it will crumble.
No matter what reasons you decide to separate from your spouse, there are some separation golden rules you must follow to make it a success.
I have selected a few of the separation process rules for you to note and use as a guideline.
1) Verify The Causes:-
One of the rules of the separation process in a relationship is to understand the causes of your separation.
Knowing the causes of your problems is the first step to knowing what the solution will look like.
Therefore, think of when the problem started, and what caused it, and then decide what best approach to deal with it.
Dealing with the root of the reasons for the trial separation will help you stay clear of the causes. When you feel all is well, then both of you can plan for your coming back together.
2) Have Your Boundaries Now:-
Another important thing to note now you are separated is to plan to set your boundaries and make them right.
Whether what you are currently having is a trial separation, or you chose to file for legal separation, setting boundaries helps you know what spaces you can allow your partners now physically or mentally.
As you set boundaries during your separation process, you may want to include many things like – how you wish to spend your private time, and when and how your contact with your partner will look like.
If you have children, use the same opportunity to decide on who takes custody, as well as time for a visit.
Knowing your spouse’s boundaries and respecting them will help you establish trust as you go through your separation.
3) Consider Your Finances Too:-
You will also need to consider your finances now as you separate from your spouse, but you have to first determine what assets you have together, and what you have alone.
Don’t forget the debts and the good keep of the children as you determine your financial obligations. Plan on how to sort everything out immediately.
Funds, resources, and all assets must be fairly shared among you so nobody feels cheated at last.
Sorting your finances out at this stage will help you so much, at least to know who takes one financial obligation or the other.
4) Spell Out Your Mode Of Contact:-
This is the best time to set up your expectations concerning how you contact each other.
What time of the day will be good to visit or have your partner visit you? What method will be comfortable for you to see yourselves, call, chat, text, or WhatsApp each other?
It may not be that easy for you to see face to face, so choose what method of communication that suits both of you.
5) Decide Who Takes Custody Of The Children:-
This is another piece of separation process advice you shouldn’t take likely, especially when children are involved.
You and your partner must decide who takes care of the children and how they are to be visited during the separation.
This moment can be somewhat emotional and challenging, but the best you can think of now is how you can make your children have the best.
it is also important for both of you to desist from spoiling your children’s minds against the other.
6) Maintain Good Communication With Your Partner:-
Every couple knows the importance of communication in marriage. It is the number one tool for every successful marriage or relationship and it always plays an exceptional role during separation.
Try having quality communication with each other will be essential as it will help you to grow together once again.
The best way to communicate to have your marital bliss back is to have a face-to-face talk, however, instead of losing touch completely, find a way to communicate, no matter how.
Therefore, irrespective of what type of separation you are having, keep your communication strong.
You may be surprised at what will happen by the time you come to the end of your separation process.
7) Decide Your Living Arrangement:-
How do you wish to go through this separation process? Are you moving out to another apartment or staying together?
This is an important thing to put into consideration. Most people will want to move out to another apartment and others don’t.
You have to make that decision on time as you share your financial obligations. Set the timeline for your moving out, and also set the boundary about how and when to visit each other.
In Conclusion:-
In this post, I have mentioned about seven important rules to have a successful separation process without much stress, and some of the points I mentioned can not be overlooked. For example
In the area of communication; we know how important communication is in keeping our relationship stronger. Here, you will learn how you should apply your relationship skills for a successful separation process.
Setting up your boundaries is another important factor to consider as you separate from your spouse. You will know how to set a good boundary.
You will also need to define your living arrangements. There are questions for you to answer to know what to do during the separation regarding how to live during separation.
I mentioned so many things to help you succeed during the separation. Read the post, again and again, to learn how.