fbpx

Tagged: couples

Right steps to spice up your marriage

 

Do you want to know how to spice up your marriage?

 

Then get ready to learn the exact step to make your marriage successful.

 

We all know that the longer a relationship goes, the more everything becomes a routine, and the relationship starts getting cold and everyone starts craving for those early days “butterflies-in-the-tummy”.

 

I am talking about those exciting feelings we used to have in the early days of our relationship.

 

Understand that It’s not the end of the world when you start seeing such in your relationship.

 

it is a common thing to see couples taking each other for granted.

They give more attention to their works and other things, and not their marriage.

 

But, the good news is that you can work together as husband and wife and in this article, I will show you how to spice up your marriage.

 

It is the responsibility of the husband and wife to make their marriage successful.

All hands must be on deck and, that means it’s not a one-man show thing.

 

There’s no dispute to the fact that one person can turn around the statues of a marriage, but I also know that it will be easier when husband and wife work together to make it happen.

 

This post is just to show you how you can spice up your marriage as husband and wife.

 

How to spice up your marriage as husband and wife.

 

Be romantic, create good atmosphere in your marriage,spice up your marriage

Related Posts

1) 101 ways to enjoy husband and wife relationship.

2) How to sustain an unending romance in your marriage.

3) Amazing Love and Marriage Quotes to spice up your marriage.

4) 7 Things that happen behind the scene of every successful marriage. 

 

1) Create intimate moments the cannot easily be forgotten:-

To better understand what it means to create intimate moments in your relationship, you’ve got to first understand what intimacy means.

 

What is intimacy?

Intimacy can be described as the act of being very close to someone as well as feeling strongly and emotionally connected to him or her.

 

Tina Tessina, a psychotherapist and the author of money, sex and kids described it as the “act of making your partner feel understood and accepted”.

 

What she’s letting us know is that in a marriage where intimacy exits, there’s a significant amount of closeness, ecstasy, feeling alive and happiness between the couples.

 

Intimacy is important.

Intimacy is important to every marriage, and so any marriage that lacks physical or emotional intimacy will most unlikely not succeed.

However, knowing and understanding your partner is the backbone of your relationship, and to know him/her better, you have to create moments of intimacy that can’t easily be forgotten in your relationship.

 

Here’s how.

Encouraging Each Other Always:-

Learn to support and encourage your spouse in everything.

To put simply, be his or her cheerleader. Be attentive and sincerely take an interest in all the things he/she likes to do.

Show respect for your husband, and maximize every chance you get to always compliment him, both in private as well as in private places.

 

And to your wife, build her up in the presence of others and also make her feel overwhelmingly important by giving her honest credit for the success of your family.

 

Let your better half truly know that you appreciate him or her with all your heart. The more our partners feel valued by us, the more they want to do more to make our relationship succeed.

 

 

 

Laugh Together:-

Laughter is easy to access to intimacy. It can as well be described as outright “vacation in a marriage” and the easiest way to keep things alive when there’s chaos in your relationship.

 

Crying and laughing gives you and spouse opportunities to learn and trust each other especially when you are sharing feelings with each other.

 

When you learn how to laugh over everything, then you will also survive everything. Do not be too serious about everything. Whenever there’s reason to be angry, learn to stop yourself, and instead deploy your love language called laughing, it will take care of everything.

 

Learn to be More emotionally vulnerable When Having sex.

Express your innermost fantasies, desires, and wishes with each other, and consider engaging in individual therapy when you feel intimacy is lacking in your relationship.

 

 

Hold each other’s hands more often:-

Dr. Kory Floyd, says that “holding hands, hugging, and touching can release oxytocin causing a calming sensation”.

 

Recent studies also tell us that holding hands also quicken the release of sexual orgasm during sex.

Interestingly, physical affection also helps to minimize stress hormones, therefore lowering the effects of cortisol which is a stress hormone released daily by our body system.

 

 Share Your Feelings:-

The number one barrier to the growth of any relationship is the inability to have discussions.
It’s imperative for husband and wife to share their feelings with each other instead of bearing it in their minds.

 

Always know that no one is perfect, and your spouse doesn’t know everything, and so you have to share with your partner about how you feel as well as what you struggle with in life Life.

 

Going to bed with unresolved issues is not healthy for any relationship and can obviously make a heart grow colder.

 

 

Create time

Create time each week for just you and your partner to go on a date and talk about how to make things work better in your relationship.
Investing time in your relationship makes things easier for you and your partner.

 

Step 2)

Keep Track Of The Rights And Not The Wrongs:

There are a couple who only sees the wrong things their partner does. It doesn’t matter how many things the partner does right, one wrong by the same partner nullifies it.

 

If what I said above describes you, then you have to change your perspective and try focusing on the right things about your partner only no matter how small or big and also try appreciating him/ her always.

 

In the Bible, Paul, in the letter he wrote to Corinthians (Corinthians 13:5), he advised us against keeping a record of wrongs.
It can hurt relationships like nothing else will, so you need to reevaluate your focus now.

 

Here are a few suggestions on how to focus more on the positive sides of your partner.

Stop Bearing Grudges:

The fact is that no one is above mistakes, even you and so if you expect to be forgiven when you make mistakes, then you should also learn to forgive too.

 

It is not the best to say you have forgiven, and still, your list of wrongs keeps getting longer.
Here’s what you should start doing now to help you stop it; get a blank paper and write down both the wrongs and the rights of your partner and then try concentrating more on the good attributes instead of the wrongs.

 

Appreciations often:

If you take a close look at your partner, you will see so many reasons to appreciate him/ her. Try and list them down one after the other, and then go through it first thing every day; such practices will help you learn how to see the best and not the opposite about your partner.

 

Strive to always Always be positive in your own mind:

According to Gottman, “it takes about 5 positive thoughts to overturn the effect of one negative thought.

If that’s the case, then why not change your thinking pattern to give positive impacts to your relationship.

 

Step 3)

Date, date, and date again:

To most couples, dating stopped immediately after the wedding. But it’s not supposed to be so.

 

To spice up your marriage as husband and wife, continuous dating is imminent.

Here is the deal; whether you have been married 10 days, weeks, months or years, a romantic date is something regularly observe.

 

If you are reading this post now, I hope you are not planning to ignore this advice as many other couples do.

But couples have stopped dating

Frankly, a lot has been said about a couple having regular dates, but believe me when I told you that a recent survey still recorded that as low as fourth five percent of couples still don’t go on. dates and only seventeen percent manage to observe it.

 

To me, that’s a very low number, and I asked myself why? Maybe marriage and dating contradict each other or people think it cost much to go on.date.

 

But to me, date night is overwhelmingly cheaper than filing for divorce or even seeing a marriage therapist and it’s a whole lot of fun too for you and your part. So take it from me that romantic date is important.l

Here are a few checklists of the importance of date nights.

1) it creates an avenue for romance.
2) It creates fun moments.
3) You have time to communicate.
4) Opportunities to take a break from stress.
5) Improves commitments.

All these are the reason why you should make dating a priority in your relationship and also understand that you don’t have to break a bank to have a good romantic date.
Let me give you some ideas.

Here are they

1)’Plan a romantic dinner at home:- Romantic dates must not be done outside the house, you can have it at home too.

Plan it in such a way that a beautiful romantic atmosphere will be felt as you and your spouse are enjoying your dinner together.

 

2) “Make a new recipe together”.

 

3) Go to a beach together.

 

4) Go to a library:- Look for books that you have never read before, take a close look at the ones that captured your attention, then plan on starting your own book club together.

 

5) Go music concert:- Search for nearby local venues that organizing music concerts for the up-and-coming musicians. There must be a big price slash, but the important thing is that you’ll have a nice time there with your spouse.

 

Step 4)

Always try Surprising one another:-

Another way to spice up your marriage is to always show kindness to your partner, especially when he/she is not expecting it.

 

According to John Guttman, Bradford Wilfox and Jeffrey Deo’s research; the trio found out that kindness as the most important recipe for boosting the marriage.

 

W Bradford Wilcox said that ” “Generosity” – including small acts of kindness and.displays of respect and affection was positively associated with material satisfaction”.

 

Surprises are an act of kindness and no matter how big or small you try to surprise your partner, it shows that you care for them.

 

Surprising your partner can lead to greater intimacy and make him/ her feel contented with your marriage. It can also act as a catalyst that brings an unusual change to the statue of your relationship.

 

The great effect of surprising your partner is that while you feel good for surprising him/her, your spouse also feels loved and cherished too.
If you’re not sure how to surprise your spouse, then I have listed some steps to guide you.

 

Here are they

Write romantic notes and drop:- Although this sounds boring, it will surely add colors to your partner’s feelings.

 

Just find good romantic writing materials and drop some romantic notes for them and then drop it anywhere you are sure they will see it. Examples- his wallet, her handbag, his pocket or wherever you know they’ll see it; and then watch what the reactions will be.

 

 

Plan lunch break surprises:– Go to their office at break time, and take them out for lunch.

Do what they like doing even if you don’t like doing it too:- If you know what your spouse’s hobby is, then you can join them to do it, even if it’s not your kind of entertainment.

– Book a nice hotel room for the two of you only.
– Get them a thicker to wherever you know they will love to go.
– Plan a surprise birthday party.
– Get a favorite gift for them.
– Do the chores they usually do
-‘Prepare a delicious breakfast and serve them while still on bad.

(more…)

Happy couples habit, happiness in marriage, happymarriagebuilder,happy,love

17 superb happy couples habit to learn

Happy couples habit, happiness in marriage, happymarriagebuilder,happy,love

 

If you really want a successful marriage, then looking at these 17 happy couples habits I listed in this article could be all you needed to achieve that.

 

One thing about marriage YOU must understand is that if you don’t take daily steps to make it works, you will suddenly see it crumbling.

 

That is why it is imperative that as you are studying about the thing you will do to make your friendship better, you must also look at your marriage, and think of the things or habits you will adopt, or remove to make it much better.

 

In this article, you will clearly see some tested and approved happy couples habits you will adopt in your marriage too.

 

But who exactly is this happy couple? Are there couples that are created to be happier than the other? And why must you copy other people to make your own marriage strong?

 

The fact still remains that; no marriage is created to be happier, stronger or even perfect. However, there is always the couple that looks as if they have it all. This couple still looks at each other and feel those sparks.

 

They feel happy together: the only things that matter to them are just the two of them.

 

It didn’t just start; overtime in their marriage, they have developed some habits, and those habits are the things that differentiated them from the other couples.

 

Today we are going to look at those habits and how you should inculcate them into your own marriage to make the difference too.

 

 

17 happy couples habit every partner must adopt.

communication, happymarriagebuilder, happy couples

(1) They know communication to be the key:

Communication has the power to build or destroy a marriage and the happy couples know this.

 

They also know communication to be a hard but essential recipe for a successful marriage, and they chose to do everything to build it.

 

In marriage, the couples that understand how to communicate openly and freely are the ones that have a fulfilled relationship. On the other, if you and your partner do not have effective communication; you are likely to have frustrations and resentments.

 

One important aspect of a successful marriage is communication and not just that, but effective communication.

 

With that, you could bring great joy to your spouse’s heart and also build your relationship to the height that you can’t imagine.

 

To communicate effectively with your spouse, you must know

  1. Those communication behaviors that add values to your marriage.
  2. Identify those communication behaviors that can improve and yield happiness in your relationship.
  3. Identify the communication behaviors that bring obstacles instead of building your marriage
  4. Implement communication techniques and tools that will enhance your marriage.
  5. Improve your ability to understand and manage every massage.

 

I have covered everything you need to know about communication in marriage here. So you can read that up.

 

couples argument, love, joy

 

(2) Happy couples know that as human beings, mistakes and arguments are inevitable:

Nobody is perfect. In fact, no marriage is 100% perfect. It takes courage and the ability to move on in the marriage. The happy couple knows these too well and they also understand the difference between having an argument as well as having a fight.

 

Arguments are essential for the growth of marriage; what makes the difference between the happy couple and the unhappy when it comes to argument is just the method of dealing with their conflicts.

 

Happy couples understand that talking and settling their disputes is better that blaming anyone about it.

 

Gottman, a famous marriage therapist identifies four things to be the main cause of couples’ disconnection, isolation, and being distant from each other; and criticism was the first in the list.

 

Think about the level of communication in your marriage; if it is not good enough, then you must try and work on it.

 

Happy couples

 

(3) They understand that happy relationships take work:

A perfect marriage isn’t all that sunshine and rosy all the time. It takes proper work to make a relationship worthwhile. Happy couples understand that sometimes, they could be annoyed, disappoint and frustrate with each other.

 

No one is above mistakes and remember that your partner is just a human being. It is left for you to get past those things, and communicate honestly with your spouse, that is the only way you can get a fulfilling marriage.

 

 

The happy couples passed through these trying times, but they inspire each other and work themselves through those trial moments.

 

Just devote yourselves to nurturing your own marriage. It may take a little time, but it will surely pay off in the end.

 

(4) Supporting each other:-

Another happy couple’s habit that is worth emulating is their ability to support each other. They understand that come what may that their spouse is there for them.

 

They give supports to each other when they are pursuing their dreams and aspirations and as well believe in the ability of their partner.

 

At times when it looks as if you are a crossroad, they never leave each other to face the music alone, the other partner remains them behind the other sharing up and encouraging the other.

 

Nothing will give your spouse courage than realizing that you are fully at the back and sharing him or her up.

 

If you have not been supportive of your spouse, today is the day to start. I will do wonders for your marriage.

 

This differentiates them from the other couples who will desert the other when things get hard.

work together, love, happymarriagebuilder,marriage

 

(5) They know each other pretty well:

The happy couple knows each other very well that they would tell what each of them could be doing at a point in time even when they are not close to each other.

 

There is this couple I know that will be doing things simultaneously when they are not closer.

 

If the husband is somewhere eating big mac in MacDonald, the wife must be somewhere eating the same thing at the same time.

 

These couples have known each other that they know what each of them could be at a moment. Isn’t that wonderful? Won’t you want your marriage to work like that?

 

(6) They share realistic expectations

The relationship is very much different from what you see in a movie. It can only happen when people have value for each other, and both of them are willing to make some sacrifices in other to make their marriage worthwhile.

 

They devote much time to their relationship because they know that every day will not be for joy and romance.

 

(7) They understand that each relationship is unique:

Because happy couples understand that each marriage is unique, they never try to compare their marriage with other people. Every partner has their personal habit, “love rule” as well as arguments.

 

If you will be smart enough to discover what makes you and your spouse unique, and then concentrate on doing it. That is when your marriage will stand firm.

 

(8) They love and respect each other:

Another unique happy couple’s habit that is worth copying is their ability to show great love and respect for each other.

In the Bible, it was recorded that even at the age of 80, Sarah still calls Abram my Lord. That is a sure sign of respect.

 

It is important you love and respect your spouse so that your spouse will love you in return; because love and respect are reciprocal.

 

 

(9) They know each other love language:

The way your mum cheered up when you did anything, may not be the way your spouse will react when you do the same thing. We have different love and values.

 

Most time the things that make each couple feel loved varies and if partners didn’t recognize them on time, it may be causing troubles.

 

If you are not sure of your partners to love language, it may be better if you ask. You may not be vigilant enough when your partner was letting you know them, now it is your work to find it out.

 

Just go ahead and ask about the things you did that have triggered love, he or she will be very eager to tell you.
Everyone wants to be treated with love.

 

(10) They reassure each other:

Everybody needs to be reassured from time to time. Give it always and never wait for the other to need before giving.

 

 

Always let him or her know how you feel about having him/her.
Let your other half feel safe and relaxed and secure in your relationship. Let ‘ I love you” be a poem in your mouth.

 

Nothing will make your spouse feel secure than hearing those words. So let it pop up every minute even without planning it.
It is one of the secrets of those happy couples you see.

 

happiness,happymarriagebuilder,happiness in marriage

 

(11) They hug and kiss each other at least 30 seconds every day:

Yes, I prescribe 30 seconds because I know it is enough to push out the cuddle hormone called oxytocin which is responsible for those feeling that is relevant for the success of your marriage.

 

So in the morning, before you go out to give the 30-second hug, and when you come back again in the evening. Let it not be less than 30 seconds and not more than that.

 

When you continue it that way, you will find out that you can quickly get in the mood without planning it.

 

However, since this prescription works like magic, it will not be good if you stop doing it for some time. Your partner may feel that you don’t care anymore.

 

(12) They know how to deal with their conflicts:

The difference between the happy couples and the non-happy couple is the way they deal with their conflicts.

 

It inevitable to disagree in a relationship, but it is also good when you disagree skillfully.

 

One technique the happy couples adopts during their disagreement is the choice of word, they use more “plural pronouns” like (us, ours, we) instead of the “singular pronoun” like (me, I, and mine) and this to not to feel stressed after the whole argument.

 

It is essential not to shout, yell or use those hurtful words that cannot be easily taken back during those heated moments.

 

Remember, actions can easily be forgotten, but words are there forever. Never be obstinate, it may be just nice if you compromise in certain things. Remember you want to make your marriage work.

 

(13) They live with full integrity:

They trust each other so much and know their spouse will not take them for granted because of that. It is impertinent to live daily with fairness reliability and integrity.

 

 

(14) Happy couples have a positive mentality regarding each other:

Research by a marriage researcher Gottman Ph.D. proved that happy couples marriage are usually characterized by some emotional traits like affection, respect, and empathy, and they are usually mindful of each others feeling.

 

They see their challenging moments as another opportunity to grow their marriage. And that each of them is responsible for their growth.

 

This is what makes them different for those guys who have separated or that are still in the process of separation.
That divorced couple never has any positive remark or feelings as regards to their marriage.

 

 

(15) They are committed to their marriage:

For a marriage to thrive well, the two people involved have to be committed to making it so. The happy couples understood this very well, that is why they do everything to make their marriage stand out.

-They commit their time.
-They commit their money
– They commit their health also, just because it matters to them.

quality time,happy couples

 

(16) They spend quality time with each other:

Spending quality time together is one of the habits of a happy couple that gives them an edge over every circumstance that will come in the future.

 

These are moments they devote to discussing the thing that matters to their marriage. They take time to share their pains, their joy, their mistakes, and their weaknesses.

 

To build a bond in marriage takes time and effort, it starts from sharing quality time together. It is true we are very busy people that at times 24 hours becomes small for us to achieve all we want; still you it is possible to find some moments to connect with your partner.

 

Remember it does not matter the amount of time you spent with your spouse. What matters is the quality of time.

 

 

17 They never have a secret: It is not proper to keep secrets.

Remember it was easy for you while you were still single; now you are married; it is not business as usual. Every secret kept will someday be known and your partner may not be happy to know you kept such a secret for a long time.

 

Keeping secrets will make you lie and lie can destroy your marriage. So be open and have no secret.

 

Conclusion:

These are exactly some of the happy couple’s habits that make them different from the other couples. You cannot necessarily use all of it, but you can select the ones that can work well in your marriage and start today to apply it.

The results may not be seen immediately, but you will surely see changes in record times.

 

Bonus Read

7 Rules for a Happy marriage.

What makes a man happy in marriage.

Roles a husband in making his marriage happy.

 

SIX common causes of infidelity in marriage

SIX common causes of infidelity in marriage

Causes of infidelity

Has every asked yourself what are the causes of infidelity in marriage, have you ever had a feeling that your once happy marriage is quickly crumbling because your spouse is cheating on you?

Have you looked into his/ her phone, diary or pocket/ bag and noticed some unusual emotional text massages, a card from a person of the opposite sex? Did you overhear him/her making some love conversation to an opposites sex over at the other side of the phone?

Many couples have been in this situation and unfortunately many of them could not give any good reasons why the infidelity started in the first place.

Infidelity in marriage doesn’t just happen. There are so many reasons why a woman or a man could decide to cheat on each other.

It is imperative to read and understand this article well, to know every reason that caused infidelity in other marriages and how you can shield it from affecting your own marriage. Remember you are striving to build a happy marriage.

 

Below are some of the most common causes of Infidelity in Marriage.

 

1) Not Having Time for your Partner:-

It is important that couples spend time with each other. Not just time but quality time. However, when there is not enough time to spend with your partner, infidelity sets in. This happens because the other partner in his/her quest to seek out another person to share time with may fall victim to infidelity without knowing it.

 

2) When Passion is Gone:-

After some years in marriage, passion slowly dies. The only difference between a broken marriage and a happy marriage is the ability to re-ignite the passion in your marriage. Try to work on your passions if you think yours has disappeared. Do not allow your spouse to seek it outside. It may bring infidelity.

 

3) Curiosity:-

Some partners fall victim to infidelity just because they want to know what will happen in the “situation“.

To avoid that from happening in your marriage, have a chit-chat with your spouse and find a solution to that problem immediately.

 

4) Bad Friends:-

The bad company says corrupt good manners. One may be influenced by a friend to do what he/she doesn’t want to. Some times one couple cheats because his/her friend lured him into having a taste.

Meanwhile, if your spouse did it at all, then there is no need for blaming friends because he/she was not forced into it in the first place. The responsibility is he’s or her’s.

 

5) Revenge:-

One of the reasons why infidelity happens is when a spouse wants revenge for what he/she thought the other party did.

Sometimes, your partner may feel that you are not faithful to him/her, probably for one reason or the other. This is why you must build trust in your marriage.

Inability to Satisfy your Spouse Sexually:-

This is one of the most common reasons people give when they cheat, most especially the women Most couples enjoyed everything in marriage but their sex life is very weak. If yours is the same, you should try and improve on it to prevent infidelity.

 

6) Emotional Validation:-

Everyone wants to be appreciated. That is the main factor in the intimacy of partners or in what partners feel for each other. Learn to validate your spouse often or someone else will.

From all these points, you will know if you are the reason for your spouse’s infidelity or not. However, when infidelity occurs, the word has not come to an end.

You can still make up and move forward in your marriage. It may not be easy but you can still have a happy marriage after infidelity.