Disconnected couples, happy couples

How to reconnect with your spouse fast

Disconnected couples, happy couples, Reconnect with your spouse
Source: Flickr, photo by
J.K. Califf

Some times in your marriage, you may wonder about how to reconnect with your spouse both physically and emotionally for things to get in place again.


Connection in any relationship is a wonderful thing that binds you and your partner as couples; this shows the extent of the intimacy both of you are able to sustain after you have passed the early stage of your relationship.


Perhaps now, you have realized how the day to day activities of life, filled with stress, chores, work and taking care of your kids have created a great vacuum between you and your spouse, and have made you focus on the negative side of your marriage, instead of the things that brought you together as husband and wife in the very first place.


Now understand that the disconnections I am talking about do not mean that both of you don’t love each other as before, no the love is still there, however you have seen how it is almost impossible for the two of you to express your love.


Maybe, by the time you are through with the work which takes you out in the morning and brings you back late in the evening, coupled with the getting the groceries from the store, getting the children back from school and getting dinner ready for the family, then you have little or no time to kiss, hug, and even have a conversation as partners becomes a forgotten issue.

You know exactly what am talking about. : )


But you are not alone: everybody is guilty of this; even the happiest couple has in one time or the other fallen for this.
Meanwhile, if you have not witnessed it in your own marriage, then may I congratulate you, because you are just having your honeymoon.


Maybe your marriage is just two months old.

I said this because I know it is inevitable in any relationship. Though different couple experiences it in different ways; but no matter how you experience it, the fact is it is not the end of the road.


Just understand that you have the power to restore hope and confidence in your relationship.
We can change whatever we are not comfortable with if we want to.


In this article, you are going to learn how you can effortlessly reconnect with your spouse and make your marriage stronger than it was before.


But firstly, let us look at those things that can make a couple to be disconnected in the first place, the ways disconnections can manifest in marriage and then how you can reconnect with your spouse again.


One of the famous marriage research john Guttman and the wife Julie Guttman for 25 years now has conducted a study in their “love lab”, using some married couples, which were placed in an apartment and where closely monitored using video and questionnaire.

The reason for this research was to learn more about how couples thrive in their marriage, and more especially to understand the reasons that could make partners feel a distance from each Other.


From the research, four things were identified to be the reason why a couple will feel disconnected in their relationship.

Here they are!

– Criticizing your partner:
– Being defensive:
– Contempt:
– Act of stonewalling:



How to communicate effectively in your marriage

When these become so much in a relationship, there is no doubt there will be clear manifestations of..

  • Avoidance attitude:

when there is a shutdown or detachment between couples, they start avoiding being close with each other, and avoidance works opposite to the goal of marriage; because it makes a couple to give up their strength for developing their marriage.


Most of the avoidance attitude starts from the unsettled disputes or aggressions in the marriage.

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