In my posts ” The Importance Of Sex In Your Marriage and Effects OF Lack Of Sex In Your Marriage, I extensively showed you everything you should know about why sex is important and why you should try to double your sex life.
But that’s not all there is
In this post we will be looking at how to improve sexuality entirely, no matter what depleted your sex energy.
If your relationship is still young, this post may not be that meaningful to you, because everything is still very hot sexually.
However, from ten year after wedding, there’s pretty good chance that one, if not both of you have lost your sex drive or really find it hard to remember sex.
Many things could actually get in the way of your marriage sex –Chores, taking care of the kids,and financial instabilities, alcohol, drugs and so many other things are good causes of diminished sex in relationship.
Age also affects our sex life too.
It is possible:
Thankfully, most if not all these issues can be dealt with and you can really double your sex life so don’t think it’s the end of life.
There are so many strategies you can adopt to get back in the game, says Sharon Bober, and Dana Farber, the health specialists at Harvard.
What the duo is letting us know is that you can be sure to get back your sex energy, and I will show you how.
1) Improve your communication Skills :
– If I ask you to rate communication in your relationship, what would it be? 99%, 40%, 15%.
You alone can answer that; but frankly speaking communication is important in every relationship in general, but more important if your want double your sex life.
From survey, I discovered that 75% of couples have great challenges communicating with themselves, and have greater set backs in their discussions, especially when the discussions concerns sex.
Two things may be responsible for these.
1) Either they don’t want to talk about it.
2) They feel so shy to discuss it.
But, if you want to seriously bring happiness back to your marriage or double your sex life, then you’ve got to talk sex without fear or shame.
Simply put ” your ability to discuss about sexuality in your marriage is the main solution to sex challenges in any relationship.
Laying the groundwork for sex is simple but often ignored solution to sexual problems: the ability to talk about sexuality.
Research proves that women who were not shy to tell their partners how they want to be touched have their orgasms during sex, and the men feel satisfied too.
The tricks here is not to talk about sex when you are about to have sex, no. It is about when you aren’t having it.
Don’t let the discussion be just about sex, let it be on general, positive topics of all you plan to try to make sex good or even better, and how to solve other problems your are having.
But, it’s best not to bring up discussions about your sexual dissatisfaction or wrong discussions up at this time; it will create a negative feeling instead of positive , and all you want is to create exciting and positive atmosphere for good sex.
The best communication method to adopt when having sex relationship conversation is the general communication skills.
Always use statements like “I” and not “you” e.g.; I am sure this will put me in the mood, instead of saying ” you’ve never done anything that turns me on.
I hope you understand that?
2) Set Mood For Sex:- A sturdy result published in sex research journal in 2017 discovered that setting the mood was the first thing couples did to keep their sex hot.
Couple that are married for a long time who were satisfied sexually admitted that spending good time to set the mood did not only help them get maximum satisfaction during sex, but it also helped their relationship to be successful.
One of the ways to set the mood is to “Send signals throughout the day”.
Dr. Laura Deitsch, a resident sexologist, said that “Our biggest sex organ is still our head”.
In other words, you have to prepare both your mind as well as your partners mind during the day.
Don’t wait till you want to have sex set the ball rolling.
Simply put, flirt with your partner during the day, gives them a quick signals that shows that you desire them always during the day and not only when you want to make love.
It’s the same thing as starting the foreplay early.
Here are few other ways to fallow the ground for good sex
In the morning, when you wake up from sleep, hold the hand, look straight into the eyes and tell how nice it feels to wake up by the side.
When about going out for work, wrap your arms around her waist and plant a hot kiss on the neck.
You are trying to Let your spouse know how desirable they are.
Don’t stop there. Compose or search the internet for nice romantic messages and send to her/him to text.
Also call him/her and let them know how Lonely you feel now they are not around.
All these are to get your partner in the mood, and you’ll get the results you desire.
3) Take Things Slow:- A good sex is when two people indulging in sex are both satisfied after having sex. To put simply, if after sex one person is left unsatisfied, then you may be self centered in bed.
Rushing into it immediately, and within 5 seconds the whole this is ended as fast as it started and everyone is feeling unsatisfied, makes sex unappealing, especially if it happen again and again.
Lisa Zamosky said that “Taking the time to let things heat up — in sex, is satisfaction”.
During sex, the men and women don’t get aroused at the same pace. It takes the women longer time (than men) to be aroused to the level of reaching orgasm.
That’s why It’s imperative that you make your wife have successful foreplay” before getting down to action.
Man can easily get aroused by just thinking about sex, but for most women, Westheimer say “wanting sex is not enough to be them on.
It’s the foreplay that helps to get both the body and mind prepared for sex.
Many women preferred to be hugged, kissed, and caressed in other to help their vagina lubricated and ready for a sweet sexual intercourse.
Of a truth, devoting ample of time to foreplay is not the only way to improve you marriage sex, but it really matters a lot, because it helps to get both partners sexually satisfied which also benefit the relationship as a whole.
4) Don’t let sex be a routine:- My advice here that you should not allow sex to be predictable.
In most marriages, couples believed that having sex must always be when there’s need to have children or during the bed time.
But, if there’s one thing I want you to take serious what I am saying here is to affect some small changes can bring big results to you!
“Doubling the marriage s” is not about being a rocket scientist to make sex something to look up to in your relationship. No!
There are little things you can do to “spice things up”.
Here are few ways
To keep sex alive, you should try having sex any how, any where, and any time.
Let your partner always be on the lookout to having sex with you and at the same time he/she are not sure when, how or where it will take place.
Have it in a new kitchen, stairs, train stations, inside a cab on your dinning table, just be creative about that.
5) Deepen Passion and The Quality of your Marriage:- If you really want to Double sex of your marriage, then you have to be reaDy to deepen passion as well as the quality of your marriage in general.
According to the marriage experts, one common reason while couples passion diminishes in a relationship, and couple stop being “sexually intimate” is as a result of what is called “pursuer-distancer pattern” which develops as the relationship matures.
The reason while couples find themselves in this pattern of living is as a result of series of dialogues they had earlier on.
Dr. Sue Johnson described the “distancer pattern”, as kind of distance that results when one “partner becomes critical and aggressive, the other then becomes defensive and tries to be distant from the partner”.
Laurie Watson, a Marriage Therapist and the writer of ” Wanting Sex” Also said that “Most sexual concerns stem from an interpersonal struggle in the marriage.”
And so you can’t talk of having a good sexual relationship without talking about closeness and emotional intimacy.
So if you really want to improve sex in your marriage, then you must first bridge the gap created by the “distancer pattern.”
In other words, you have to firstly work on your “emotional connection.”
You will achieve great results by understanding the best ways to meet your partner’s most pressing needs and better ways to also make your own needs known without causing a fight.
Pay attention to all the things that are draining affection from your relationship and weed them off and chose to sacrifice your time, joy, money and attention to making your relationship successful.
Finally, understand that doubling your sex life in marriage will not just start happening if you do nothing about that.
But, it is very possible to get things back again and I have explained how you can do that here in the post.
Go ahead and practice all I have thought you and then thank me when things starts spicing up.
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