Does marriage counseling actually work?

And to me, this is what seems to be the reason most marriage counselors fail:

Most Marriage Counselors Have Been Trained To Analyze Problems, Not Create Solutions

This is what I really think it comes down to… Everything that your average marriage counselor has learned, and in turn everything they teach you, was very likely written by a psychologist.

All those things that your marriage counselor tells you…
* “Just keep working at it”…
* “Communication is the key”…
* “Be more open with each other”…
* “Start having intimacy time”…
* “Date nights are the answer”…
* “Make her feel loved”…

All of those things are written in some textbooks somewhere and that textbook was written by a psychologist. These are things that women think they want, and they do when everything is already perfect, but they will NOT save your marriage.

These are all things you should be doing when your marriage is thriving, more like characteristics of a successful marriage than actual techniques to fix a broken one.

But You Can Clearly See Their Train of Thought…

A good marriage has open communication, right? So it ‘makes sense’ that to fix a broken marriage you should develop open communication, right?

A good marriage has spouses who enjoy intimacy time with each other, right? So, it ‘makes sense’ to say that if you force intimacy time you’ll fix your marriage, right?

But marriage isn’t backward compatible like that… It doesn’t work because these logical solutions are NOT going to work when there are no feelings of attraction or emotional fondness behind them. So even if you’re going through the motions correctly, there is no guarantee that you will actually fix your marriage.

In fact, if anything you’re almost guaranteed to make it worse because you’ll remind your wife how bad things have to be that she can’t feel ANYTHING-even when you’re apparently trying so hard.

Remember, that attraction is the ONLY thing that will save your marriage. Without attraction, there is no emotional incentive driving your wife to come back to you… Logic, reason, counseling, courses, books, rational techniques and perseverance will not save your marriage. Feelings, emotion, and passion will.

So, does couples counseling work? Does marriage counseling work? I suppose I should let your own experiences give you the definitive answer, but from all of my own experience, I would say that you’re better off trying to fix things on your own than with a counselor.

If you still have any questions, I would like to encourage you to take a look at my free report.

– Jacob