None of the separating couples will tell you that they are happy with the situation, and they are not happy. Separation is a very stressful time.
You will soon lose your spouse, and God knows how unhappy you will be when that happens.
If you are one of those separating couples, you are reading this post because you are looking to know how to have an interesting marriage separation process. Welcome!
Many people think that separation is divorce or the last chance to save a marriage from breaking, but that’s not what it means.
The truth is that many couples have found themselves becoming better and closer after separation, so it is not the end of the road.
Although statistics show that 87 percent of couple divorce after separation, and only 13 percent survive after that. But yours can be counted among the survivors if you want it.
In this post, I will share some of my practical advice for all separating couples, and you can learn a lot from it.
This advice is divided into two sections; how to rebuild your relationship during separation and how to proceed to divorce if you don’t want to continue.
Whichever side of the coin you pick will be covered here.
Let’s dive in.
15 Holistic Advice To All Separating Couples.
Tips for getting your marriage back.
1) Be Positive About It:-
If you eventually find your marriage in the challenging time of separation, and you wish to get your marriage back to normal; then you must be positive about it.
Being positive means that you believe that it is possible to get back together again after separating: probably it was a trial separation which is sometimes easy to settle.
Separation can be a very emotional affair and it is important to accept the difficult times you are having at the moment.
One of the necessary things you have to do now is to keep reassuring yourself that things can still work perfectly well in your marriage.
Use some words of affirmation to always motivate yourself.
2) Get The Trust Back:-
Trust is one of the most important recipes for a successful marriage. It is the bond that empowers every relationship.
Your marriage may be going through this stress because of broken trust and to restore your marriage, you need to rebuild trust. All separating couples must know the importance of trust in marriage.
Irrespective of the reasons you decided to separate there is a need to work on getting your trust back especially when the cause of the issues is infidelity or other actions.
Do everything you can to earn the trust back. It may not be easy, but since you have the result you want to have at last, then it’s worth it.
Only a positive attitude can’t do the magic, you have to back your dreams up with action.
3) Know Exactly What You Want:-
As one of the separating couples, you have to be clear about what you want after the separation. Are you planning to get back after separation if things work out, or not?
You have to be sure of what answers you have for that question. Whatever you want from the separation should be clear on you.
Not only that you are clear about what you want after the separation, but you must share it with your partner.
Find the best time to discuss with your partner and make sure you know his/ her mind about that too.
Both of you must be open about what you want from your separation and after it.
4) the Get Ready To Tackle Causes Of The Marital Challenges:-
Have you found out the reasons for your marital crises? Why are you separating from each other? Things have not been like this before, so why is it like this now?
When you know what causes your argument, you will devote time to tackle it now that you are separated for the time being. If what you have in mind is to settle the matter, you must get to work immediately.
Check if you are the cause of the arguments and fights. Would you be ready to ask for forgiveness if you are?
The reason many couples don’t get back together after separation is that they concentrated on the problems instead of finding the solution.
5) Accept Your Responsibilities To The Issues:-
Taking full responsibility and being accountable are the two most important things all separating couples must consider if they want to save their marriage.
The fact about taking responsibility is that it helps to ease every tedium no matter the gravity of the issues.
Another impact of owning up and taking full responsibility is that when your partner finds out how eager you are to be your best, they follow suit.
Being on the same table in marriage about anything is the easiest way to tackle issues. That’s when you’ll realize that both of you are not the perfect couple.
6) Get Help:-
Another option you have as separating couples to save your marriage from crashing during separation is to seek help from marriage professionals.
There are marriage therapists and counselors all over the place that you can run to for help, especially when you have tried all the things you know.
They are well trained for everything that concerns marriage and marital issues. When you work with marriage therapists, they will show you how to rekindle the fire in your marriage faster.
Don’t be afraid to share all your problems with any marriage therapist you choose to work with. You will be amazed at what result you will get at last.
What Separating Couples Can Do When They Don’t Want To Reconcile After Separation:-
7) Tell Your Partner Outright:-
There is no need to deceive yourself or keep hoping when you don’t want to get back to your marriage after separation.
The best thing you should do is to tell yourselves that you are tired of the marriage, then file for divorce and go your separate ways.
There are many things In your marriage that can make you decide to go on your way, including abuse, infidelity, cheating, an extramarital affair, financial trouble, and lack of communication.
When you find out that those issues mentioned above are getting out of hand in your marriage, you may decide to file for divorce immediately or leave the house before another thing happens.
8) Move Out Of The Apartment Or Marriage:–
Separation in marriage does not necessarily mean that couples are living apart from each other. When two people stay under the same roof and living separate lives, it can be termed separation.
Like I earlier said, when you can’t condone your spouse’s actions and you don’t want to be pushed to the wall, then consider looking for another apartment.
9) Stop The communication:-
Everyone knows that communication is what keeps a relationship moving. That also means that lack of communication can harm any relationship.
Therefore, any separating couples who don’t have a plan of getting back to each other can achieve that by simply shunning any form of communication that exists between them.
I mean no phone calls, chats, emails, or any messages at all. When you do that, your relationship will just die slowly.
10) Move On With Your Life:-
Another step you can take during your separation from your partner and especially when you are tired of your marriage is to move on with your life.
Once you are sure of what your plans are about your separation, then don’t let it bother you so much when you eventually follow your mind.
Put every emotion a stop and continue your life. Whether it is a trial separation, temporary separation, or permanent separation, it is not the end of the road.
Better things are still in the future. So forget the past and look to the future. You will feel better that way than having sleepless nights about it.
It won’t be an easy task though but it is achievable.
In Conclusion:-
As I round up this post, I wish to quickly tell you that separating from your partner shouldn’t give you sleepless nights at all if you wish to get back into the relationship.
Follow the steps I outlined in this post and you will be amazed at how the table will turn for good.
Always have in your mind that you can get whatever results you want if you play your card well.
Follow the steps provided for you here and you will be amazed at last.