Many marriages are broken today, because the couples refused to observe or rather neglected the bold signs of unhappy marriage starring them at the faces. If the couples have been observant, most of the problems leading to unhappy marriage would have been noticed and taken care of, before it affected the relationship.
One of the most common problems faced in most relationship is an unhappy marriage and once it begins, it leads to other things like depression, fights and sometimes divorce. Sometimes, most of these signs of unhappiness in marriage start manifesting early, and sometimes it starts later.
Whichever time is started isn’t the problem, the ability to notice the sign and do whatever is necessary to curb the menace is what matters the most.
In this post, I will show some signs of unhappy marriage and how to deal with it, before it kills your marriage.
7 Signs you are in an unhappy marriage and how to fix it.
1) Breakdown in communication: – Good communication is an indispensable factor when you want a successful relationship, in fact, it is the bedrock of all marriages, and lack of it is a pure disaster. I’ve seen couples that stays under one roof, yet they have no time to talk, everyone stays alone, everyone rather prefer to use sign than talking to each other.
Most time they want to talk, but are not too sure what to talk about.
Once you find out that people outside are the first to know about your achievements, failure and event, then that’s a clear sign of and unhappy marriage.
What you should do to curb it: understand that healthy communication don’t just come to be, you have to desire and work it out all by yourself. Always think of what you say, the way you say whatever you say will determine if the other person will act defensively or otherwise.
Also try and understand your spouse’s communication language, It will make you know when they are working behind to make things work out good or ignoring you.
2) No more hugging, kissing and sex: – Sex also is another very important factor in marriage. Lack of sex signifies unhappiness in marriage, especially when you are still very much active in sex and yet not having Up to 7 to 8 times in a month.
How to deal with lack of sex.
Always show your partner that you still love him /she, by holding his/her hands, hugging and kissing anytime and anywhere.
3) You stay together, but live separate lives: – One characteristics of a good marriage is that the couples share quality times together, however in an unhappy relationship, everyone is on his own.Nobody cares about what the other does, where he goes or want to do, and they are happy to live like that.
If you find yourself desiring to do things on your own without consulting your partner, then you are in an unhappy relationship
Here is an example, you want to invest in a project or get a new job and your partner didn’t know about it, that’s a clear evidence that you are both not having a good relationship in your marriage.
How do you solve that problem?
Start doing anything you need to do to connect with your partner again. Remember, you promised during your wedding to live together, till death and so now you are still alive, you should enjoy living together.
4) You tell your problem to someone outside than your partner: – If you love to share your joy, problems, your wins and defeats with someone else rather than your spouse, then you are in an unhappy relationship.
Your partner should be your best friend and your soul mate. He/she should be the first to know whatever you are passing through in life.
5) You are always lonely: – Many people are married and still lonely in their marriage.
If you are one of them, it is a good sign of emotional abandonment, that’s why when you visit some couples, each of them is in one corner either pressing phone or doing another things.
This happens because two of you feel boring when you are together and so you look for something else to make you happy, or keep you busy
Here are checklist of things that can cause feel lonley
– Past experiences:
- – Lack of time together
- – You are afraid of being bullied.
- – Busy schedules.
- – Lack of emotional supports.
How to stop loneliness in marriage:
Look for the cause: There must be a reason for the disconnection you feel in your relationship, and to fix it, you have to know what caused it and go ahead to tackle it from the root.
6) You always feel unsecured: – If you are in a marriage where you are not too sure where the marriage or your stand in the relationship is, then you may be feeling unsecured.
Whenever you start feeling uncertain, uncomfortable or furious about your relationship, then unhappiness sets in and sometimes divorce follows.
How to deal with feeling unsecured.
One of the ways to stop feeling unsecured is to stop being a mind reader.
Many time you want to assume what your partner never even thought of at all. Doing so will keep you distanced from him or her.
Why not be open and ask questions about whatever you don’t understand? Probably your partner can give you better explanation for his/ her actions.
7) Always think about the life without your partner:– The writer and a marriage therapist Turndof Jamie PhD, in his book kiss your fight goodbye wrote and I quote ” By fantasizing about having an affair or making plans for a future without your spouse can all be signs of fallen out of love with your spouse.”
It’s part of an emotional detach.
The signs show that divorce is around the corner.
To avoid divorce, visit a therapist and have sessions with them and also do things that will keep you happy once again.
Finally look out for all these signs of unhappy marriage I have mentioned in this post and try to fix it to your best ability. You can really do it if you make up your mind about it.
Always understand that divorce is never the last option, you can fix any problem in any marriage, but that depends on what you actually want for your marriage.
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