Is your marriage deteriorating faster and you don’t understand why?
You are sure you are doing your best to make your marriage better and yet things are still going opposite of what you expected it to be.
You are not alone. So many couples are as confused as you are.
There are so many things that couples neglect and yet they constitute the biggest issues that affect the once a happy relationship they use to have.
The irony is that “if you don’t know where rain started beating you, then you won’t also know where it stops”.
In this post, I want to help you i identify those insignificant but yet a great relationship killer that can harm your marriage in a flash, if you don’t tackle it on time.
7 Highly neglected things that can make a marriage deteriorate fast.
1) Telling lies: – For instance, when you are going out in the morning, you told your partner you were going straight to the office, but rather you are going to see a movie with friends somewhere else that’s not even close to office.
Have you considered about how your partner will feel when he/she finds out?
You may actually go free with that by telling another lies to cover up.
But let me tell you that you are making a great withdrawal from your emotional bank account of trust.
Continuous lying brings suspension and uncertainties that vehemently overwhelms the mind of your spouse.
At a time, anything you utter from your mouth will sound like a lie to your partner and it eventually create a distance between you two.
2) Comparisons: – If you find yourself saying things like – I wish we have a marriage that’s just like Mr. A, oh! My husband/ wife never dress like Mr. B, then you are into the comparison game and it can draw life out of your marriage.
If your marriage or your partner is different from the other couples/ or marriages, it doesn’t mean it is bad, it simply means your marriage or partner is unique.
The uniqueness simply shows that every marriage or persons can never be the same no matter what.
Most times when we find ourselves comparing each other, it signifies that you are only selecting certain qualities to focus on, but do you know that the other person you are comparing your spouse with has his/her own unique package?
Your partner may not be the outgoing type like your other neighbor, and your neighbor may not be a good communicator as your partner.
So always remember you married your partner with his/her unique qualities and stop comparing.
3) Invalidation: – If you don’t know what invalidation means, then let me tell you, so you know if you are an invalidator.
What is validation: – This is when someone’s feelings, thought are judged, rejected or ignored.
If you are the type that derives joy by pulling down the character, feelings and thoughts of your significant other, then you are an invalidator.
The fact is that there is no marriage without invalidation, and it is one of the greatest relationship destroyers.
It sometimes looks like remark and sometimes involves argument where a partner may just be ignoring or neglecting the others actions, just to show him/her that their feelings are not that important at all.
4) Misinterpretation: – While there are so many reasons why marriage fails, negative interpretation contributes greatly to it.
Negative interpretation is when one spouse keeps assuming something different from the partner’s actions.
Take for instance you call your partners phone number and maybe it rang for a long time without picking, immediately your mind tells you he/she is doing something wrong, that’s why he is avoiding the calls.
Negative interpretation can be very bad especially when a partner consistently assumes that the partners motives are very much opposite than what they really are and has the capacity to make even the smallest disagreements between couples become a hard nut to crack.
In other words a little fight becomes bigger than they are when you become a self-made mind reader.
Mind reading brings hopelessness and despair in relationships and after few threats, the accused partner become de motivated and then seeks to leave the marriage.
I know you wouldn’t like that happen in yours.
5) Cheating emotionally: – If you find yourself investing more energy, time, sharing your hopes and dreams with someone that’s not your partner, you may be guilty of this: and it can be detrimental to the success of your relationship.
The fact is that it usually starts like and child’s play, and so many people believes is not that harmful, but marriage Experts sees it as cheating also though without physical sex.
Their views is that if it persists for a long time, it usually leads to a full blown affair and the consequences of that is that your partner feels deceived and betrayed and then he/ she may decide to leave the relationship if the habit persists.
6) Disrespect: – Respect is an important key in every loving relationship.
Likewise disrespect however is a termite that destroys any relationship.
Respecting your partner means you are placing a big value to your partner, and you also show a big honour by treating him/ her as a priceless jewelry.
Disrespect creates holes that look tiny at first, which becomes wide, open as day goes by.
Everyone deserves respect and when you give one, you also receives one, so start giving it now.
7) Complacency:- This is another subtle marriage killer.
This is a time in a relationship where coupes believe they have arrived in their relationship that they stopped caring, and nurturing each other as well as their marriage.
Everyone focus more on what brings joy and satisfaction to himself without caring about the partner.
When this continues, one partner may start feeling forgotten and not receiving enough attention.
You and I know too well that un-fulfillment of your partner greatest emotional need is a blank check to marriage failures.
The only thing that can save your marriage from crash landing is to start nurturing your relationship again, that’s when you will see things becoming normal again with time.
Rounding Up:- Ignorance kills, I have taken my time to divulge 7 highly neglected thing that can deteriorate fast to you. It is now up to you to make sure your marriage stays afloat.
I am still your friend murphyaik.
See you at the top
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