If your partner is planning to leave your relationship and you wish you can stop the divorce proceedings and you dont know where to start?
Then here are steps you can take to stop a divorce.
Divorce is one thing no couple ever prays or wish for as they get married. We all pray for a relationship that’s fulfilling and very successful too.
We desire to have a conducive environment to raise our children, we desire the type of union where there’s pure love, without hatred or resentment.
Divorce is just the opposite of a happy marriage. During a divorce, things stop working the way they used to, everything just become upside down.
At that moment, your most cherished partner, whom you promised to love and cherish till death do you apart now becomes an enemy while you are still alive, and is getting ready to disconnect from you forever, living you in the pool of stress and disorganized world.
You don’t really want all these, you want your partner and your marriage to stay: these are all going on in your mind.
Question is, do you know you can still stop the divorce from happening?
Probably you are thinking it’s impossible to stop a divorce especially when it has reached a point.
In this article, I will show you some effective steps to stop any divorce even when your partner is not willing to.
Here are three reasons to do so.
– One big reason you must do so is that Divorce means complete rejection because it is either you are being rejected, or you rejected someone who knew you better In this world.
– Secondly, Divorce can be too emotionally devastating for you, because it pushes to destroy all the dreams we had when we chose to marry our mate.
-It also poles us apart from the same person who we have always believed to be there for us all the time.
– Finally, it is because it is very much easier to fix your marriage and make it happy, than going through divorce proceedings.
So why still go through all these.
Here’s are steps to stop a divorce.
10 Reasons to stop a divorce
Work on yourself:-
The first step is to do a thorough work on your feelings and emotions.
Understand that desperation and anger will not help the matter, rather it will make things worse. You may feel like crying, begging, or pursing, just to make your leaving partner know how to hurt you are.
That’s not the best thing to do at this stage. Doing such will only add fuel to the fire.
What you should do at this point is to get hold of your emotions and step back a bit.
Sussman advises to keep calm and stop being hysterical.
Give him/ her some space and make her feel you are not so moved about the divorce, but act in such a way that he/ she will start feeling you again.
– Be ready to make a change:-
There are many things that made your partner ever think of leaving you in the first place. The signs have been there and he/she may have been clamoring for a change and when the change didn’t come, the decision to divorce came.
In that case, the way to go about it is to change. You may not have to change your whole life, but there’s a need to look at your contribution to the matter on the ground.
Your willingness to change is the only guarantee you have to change your relationship as well.
Meanwhile, You don’t have to give up your personal health or happiness, your dreams, and hobbies because you want your marriage back. If your partner is demanding you to do so, then there’s a need to rethink the relationship.
What needs to be changed are the habits, attitudes, or addictions that are hurting your relationship.
– Make some changes:-
I suggest you make a list of all the statements (negative), all his/ her complaints, critics, from there you could see what has brought about the current situation.
The idea is to know where the problems are, and until you find them out it wouldn’t be easy to solve it.
So go through the list with your almost leaving partner and pinpoint the mistakes together, then decide to genuinely make a change and get to work immediately making the necessary changes.
– Improve Yourself:-
From the list you wrote earlier, you will be able to know if most of the problems are caused by you: if yes, then you have to go through so many self-improvement training to be better.
An affirmation says you can’t be at the same level and want to solve the same problem. There are things you need to work on improving that can affect your relationship positively.
According to Susan Heitler, PhD.couple need to improve themselves on.
– Making favorable decisions for both
– Keeping anger out during decision making.
– Having ” cooperative dialogue ”
All she is saying is that you should improve your skills your communication skills as that will help your relationship improve better.
-See a counselor:-
If you have made up your mind to get your marriage back and work, seeing a counselor may be a good thing to do.
A good counselor will give you the right tools that are needed to communicate and relate effectively with each other.
You must have to change the way you do certain things, or you will end up doing exactly the same way you did before. And that means you will continue to get the same wrong results. That’s not what you want. Is it?
If your partner is impassive about the matter, then let him/her understand that you are out to relate than before them and that there’s a need for you to get some fresh insights from an expert.
Make him/ her understand that you are getting the help for you and he or she will be willing to try too.
Be sure to work with the counselor both of you are comfortable with because if you make the wrong choice and your spouse smell foul play, that may fresh trouble and the outcome may be worse than before.
In that case, we try so many of them and chose the best to work with.
If you are interested in saving your marriage, then you can’t afford to miss this wonderful book by a marriage expert. You can get it HERE