5 overlooked but Simple secret to have more marital satisfaction
If your wish is to have more marital satisfaction, then here is a very good beginning for that.
You will agree with me that all marriages are not created equal, while some couples are happily married, some are going through turbulent times, and some also have separated and gone separate ways.
Not that the happily married one’s do not have their fair share of fights and quarrels, the difference is that while the first couple in our example are not too sure of what they should do to get over their problems marital issues, the second group (the happily married) tries all they could to resolve theirs, or probably have a compatible ways of dealing with marital issues.
Although I am not very sure of your marriage, but I can tell you point blank, that things are not going the way you want it and you need a change.
The joy, the love and the peace are all gone.
Sometimes you wish you didn’t marry in the first place or maybe you made the wrong choice.
You want things to be the way they were at the beginning when your marriage was very young.You are not alone.
But don’t worry. : )
In this article, I am going to be looking at 5 secrets on how to have more marital satisfaction this in the mist of daily all troubles.
What does it mean to have a marital happiness?
Marital Happiness is a judgment from spouse that shows that he/she is experiencing happiness and joy in the marital relationship.
One thing is always certain in any marriage and that is the fact that troubles must always be present.
Some couples start witnessing problem few months after wedding and some have theirs many years after marriage, but no matter when you start having troubles in your own marriage, what we are talking about here is how you can have marital bliss a midst those troubles.
Don’t worry! I am going to share the secrets to you here in a minute. :- )
Let’s get going.
1 Be sure your wife is happy: – If you really want to experience what I call real marital joy, the first thing that should be your priority is what you should do to see that your wife is happy with your marriage. Latest study shows that the more contempt a wife is in a relationship, the happier the husband will be.
It was also found out that even when a man is unhappily married, that he can still be happy with himself especially when the wife is satisfied with the marriage. That simply means that your wives happiness can overshadow your unhappiness.
The more your wife is happy, the more she thinks of what to do make sure that everything moves on well through helping you the husband.
If that is just what it takes to have a successful marriage, won’t you want to make your wife happy so that your marriage as a whole will be a happy one?
I am sure you will, and that’s why you are reading this article.
The first step to take is to stop being selfish and think of those little things you should do to make her feel loved. It doesn’t have to be money.
You may be surprised to know that just a little thing is enough to get your wife feeling on top of the world; so look up those things and start doing them from this moment.
You should be able to see changes in your marriage when you start. Always have in mind that your wives emotional stability maters when you want stability also in your marriage.
Now, let me show you few things you few things you should start doing to make her happy as well as make your marriage strong.
• Learn to forgive and forget her wrongs:- Understand that no one is above mistake. You have your own flaws too. So always look for a way to forgive her whenever she offends you.
Sometimes it may look as if you are so soft, but she is your wife and your love; so overlook her wrongs, and have in mind that you didn’t marry a perfect spouse.Just look for a better way to correct her and don’t be harsh about it.
• Have consistent romantic dates with her:- In the word today, couples find it hard to a spare time for themselves especially when there are children to take Care of, jobs to attend to and other daily activities.
But that notwithstanding, you should create day and moments of courtship and romantic dates for you and your wife. It may not necessarily be outside your home; you can have it there in the house and make sure there are no distractions.
• Always offer to help her:– Always look for a good way to help your wife solve her problems. Go ahead and ask her where she may need a helping hand and start helping immediately. Sometimes what she may need from you could be just to a listening ear, offer it to her.
• Praise her often even when she is not around:- It is good you respect and admire your wife always; that will make you pour all your love on her and will also make you to compliment her always instead of complaining about her.
Some men are good at complaining about their wife even to their friends; that usually make a woman guilty when she sees your friends.
However, praising her will change the situation and will help you build a good communication with her.
• Be interested and offer a listening ear whenever she has something to say:-. It is true that sometimes what your wife may want to talk to you about can be so boring or dramatic, but to make her feel important and happy, just give her the listening ear, not because the conversation is interesting, but because you love her.
this article will help you so much if you want to know how to make your wife happy
(2)Make your Husband happy too:-For any marriage to be successful and strong, there must be a balance in the activities of the partners.
In that case there must be a balance in the love shared by the two. It is 100/100 % and not 50/50%. Therefore, despite the fact that women’s happiness are crucial when it comes to making a marriage work properly, the men’s happiness should not be overlooked too.
Although it is not proper to depend on another person for your happiness, but there must be a balance in the love both of you shares.
If you love your husband and want more marital happiness, then you must not be a selfish wife. The same way you aspect your husband to make you happy, you should also plan to reciprocate the gesture.
Here are few things you can do to see that your husband is happy.
• Connect with him even when you are not close:- Thanks to technology; no one has a reason to give for not communicating with one another. You can be at your work place and still connect with him.
The best part is that you can send love text massages to him now even as you are reading this. It is true you love him so much, but he wants to be assured of your love; so send spontaneous texts or voice massages to him expressing your love for him.
Tell him how happy you were to wake up by his side this morning, and how you can’t wait to have him around you this moment. That’s amazing isn’t it?
• Show that you have confidence on him:- Trust is important in every relationship, and trust build confidence. He wants to know that you can trust and confide in him.
• Let him be the leader:- Most marriages are in a bad shape now because of struggle for power on who will be the head and the helper. Remember God has destined the man to always be the head and the woman to be the support.
It is true that women also helps in making ends meet in a marriage;but the men are always to be the head. My advice is to allow him to be the head and be the support God has made you to be.
• Talk kindly to him;- Words can build or destroy any relationship and women have a big challenge when it comes to talking, but if you are interested in how to make your marriage stronger , then you must think of how to talk kindly with your husband.
Always compliment his efforts to fend for the family, never trash anything he does even when he is not around.
(3) Work together as a team:-Nothing can be compared to the type of bond that exists between partners when they join force to make their marriage work; that means working together as a team.
People think that marriage is a hard work, but that is when you want to work alone, but couples who stands together to struggle through their marital challenges find it simple and they maneuver their challenges with ease.
When there is no team approach during trials and challenges in marriage, the next thing that happens is that the problem becomes so magnified as well as so hard to solve.
Too much blaming is one of the symptoms of a marriage that lacks team work: this is when the couples blame one another for the problems in the marriage.
This inability to share responsibility for problems in a marriage usually leads to unguided statements that create bigger conflicts, withdrawals and communication breakdown.
Working as a team helps you create a”secured zone” in your relationship.
Ways to work as a team:
Stop the blame game:- One area where team work is most essential is during conflict resolution;
This is when you stop blaming your spouse and accept contribution to the problems in your relationship; blame can only heighten the problems, but sharing in it will always make you understand that you are also not perfect.
Never focus on your spouse’s short comings, but see the good side which will help you to build a team work.
Develop a good perspective about building a team work:– This simply means finding a way to view your partner as a team mate instead of an opponent, that will give two much room to grow closer and become firm in your relationship.
Although there may be many different opinion between the two of you in some occasions, but you should still know that you must be there for each other.
Think only solution and not the problems:-A marriage therapist Tina B Tessina said in her book titled” Money,sex and kids” that you should give up fighting for the 3 things that can destroy a marriage, but focus on what will bring solution.
Focusing on the problems will only make you stock on who is right or wrong. Her advice is to talk about the problems and then focus on the possible solution.
(4) Show some respects when dealing with the problems and issues in your marriage:- One of my mentors and a popular marriage expert- Dr John Gottman said that you can predict the results of a discussion by knowing how it began.
He advised that it is better to bring up issues with “soft start – ups” instead of “hash start-up”. If a discussion starts with arguments and anger, the end results will also be anger. In a nutshell, it is good if you’ll take hold of your emotions and voice tone when you are dealing with difficult issues of your marriage.
5 Create a secured emotional environment that engenders open and honest communication: -This sounds simple but it is one of the things that are yet to be seeing happening in today’s marriage. I am talking about creating a relationship that is free from ‘abuse’.
How would you describe a relationship where one spouse is afraid to share his/her feelings and opinion?
I visited a family friend one day and met only the wife in the house eating, suddenly the husband came back; the way the wife dropped her plate of food made me want to think that eating has become a sin, but that’s just because she was not sure maybe the husband will nag her for eating.
If you stay with such people for some moment longer, you will know that there’s abuse.
What about you and your spouse? Are you such a husband that will want all he said to be done? When you roar everyone runs; or are you the type of wife that will not let your hubby say one word? You are ready to challenge him at any time, what you are doing is creating that type of problems that will destroy your marriage.
Let all your efforts be channeled towards building a happier and successful marriage. Stay away from all the marriage breakers, those things that will subtly affect your marriage should be kept at arm’s length; that is when you can beat your chest and say you are having a more marital success.
Over to you now; If you think there is something else I did not include in the list that has worked for you, do share with us in the Comment box.
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