One way to completely overcome your trust issues is, to be honest, and also willing to bring the matters to the table, so everyone knows what the issue is because any issue about trust can’t be settled by only one person.
Taking responsibility for your actions and genuine repentance have great power to rebuild broken trust.
So if you are interested in rebuilding trust in your marriage, then try to be as much open as you can so your partner could also be free to ask questions they have in mind.
Joseph Cilona PsyD, a clinical psychologist who is based in New York said: ” it’s good to be conscious of sincerity even if it requires admitting that it might be helpful”. So give all information out and be very willing to trash it out once and for all.
Here are ways to apologize
The fact is that your partner is no more comfortable with you and your actions, and that has made him/her extremely stressed and angry and now you feel sorry and also want to apologize, then here’s how to go about it.
- Don’t let it linger:– Though it may not be too easy when you want to go and tender apologies for whatever you have done, the truth is that the longer you wait, the faster things get worse.
- Give your partner a chance;- In as much as you don’t have to wait for so long to say you are sorry, you also have to give your partner little time to show his/ her grievances before responding.
- Apologize by yourself:- It will be better to do so by yourself and face to face as well, don’t send messages, email, or send someone to beg on your behalf.
- Pressure him/her:- you have the reassure the one you cheated on always that such will not happen again.
- Don’t blame, just explain:- it’s possible some problems in your relationship contributed to your breaching of trust. However, instead of blaming your marriage, and your spouse, then just take time to explain your dissatisfaction with certain things, so both of you can deal with all issues to avoid future occurrences.
#3/How to rebuild trust in your Marriage
Choose to Change:- You are very sorry for your mistakes, and you have asked for forgiveness and received pardon as well.
However, things may not work out again if you go back to your mistakes another time. And so the best for you is to decide to change completely.
But, depending on the situation that caused the breaching of trust, you’ll have to find suitable solutions or ways to make up.
For example – If it was caused because of infidelity, then you have to be sure to clear all doubts, it may cost you to retrieve all your passwords, both your mobile phone and emails. You may need to always leave your phone on the center table.
If it was the inability to fulfill promises, then you’ll have to set some reminders for all your promises.
The best thing to do at this point is to completely restrict yourself from doing those things that usually initiate betrayals to your partner, this is simply because your partner will be more confident when there’s evidence of sincerity and honesty from you.
You must know that not all trust can be rebuilt.
Sometimes it is destroyed and nothing can be done about it and sometimes it takes so much time to be rebuilt that the couple becomes tired of waiting, Laino says it takes at least 6 months to 2 years to rebuild trust.
My advice to you is to keep trying as long as you can, but if things didn’t work out after some time, then find another alternative. However, the points I made, are enough to guide you to try rebuilding your marriage.