3 Reasons why Marriages fail or succeed
In this article, you will also learn how you can make your own marriage be counted among the successful marriages for the rest of your stay as couples.
Obviously, there is never a time when people will plan to get together as husband and wife, and want to break up the next day. The plan is always to have wonderful and perfect matrimony. But sometimes, it never happens as planned.
There are so many important reasons I know why some marriages thrive well even in the midst of their challenges, and why some results to divorce even at a very little challenge.
I want us to firstly look at the classifications of marriage by the famous researcher called Dr. John Guttman.
In his research, he was able to classify marriage into different styles as follows.
1) Compatible marriage.
When a marriage is said to be compatible, it means the two people have the capability to live together in marriage as husband and wife.
Romance is always important in any marriage that will last long, but the compatibility of the couple is very crucial.
The partners in this type of marriage always have a way to agree on common agendas concerning the way their union will go, and how each of the partners will behave when there is an issue.
Every successful marriage is comprised of couples who have come to the marriage with already existing compatibility in some areas like temperament, goals, and personality.
This is why it is always easier for them to come to terms in some certain issues and that reduces marital conflicts
The second style of marriage according to Dr. Gottaman
2) The Volatile Marriage
When a marriage is termed volatile, it is usually “characterized” by so many strong arguments and strong displays of passion as well. There is usually a frequent positive interaction than the negative.
It has been noticed that couples in this kind of marriage have a different “style” of marriage than those who are similar in their outlook.
The couples who have a volatile marriage can tolerate and tend to stay happier; the reason is that the more opportunity they have to quarrel, the more they also have to make up and move on with their passions of kissing and hugging.
3) Conflict Avoidant Marriage
In this style of marriage, the couples choose to avoid confronting their issues directly by either changing the subject matter or by singing. This type of marriage can be more disastrous.
The couples don’t usually ask about each other’s feelings, emotions, want and thoughts. Even when one does, the other will not reciprocate. However, that doesn’t mean there is no chance for then to live together.
The main reason why marriages fail or succeed is not conflicts. It is all about how the couples solve the incompatibility in their relationship.
Be prepared to accommodate
The ones who are not well prepared to accommodate each other usually turn their conflicts into a protracted fight and may throw in the towel to avoid one.
The most important thing each partner must learn in order to deal wisely with their conflicts without giving up their own interest or need is always to support and validate each other.
Commitment is most imperative in making any marriage succeed.
Let me live you with this.
Whatever you need to make your marriage fail or succeed is inside you; look inside, select the tool you need and start working.
Thanks for reading this.
To your success
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