They are so much advice everywhere for couples on how to make their marriage better. Some of them are good, and most of them sound amazingly smart, but they are bad marriage advice.
You have read so many books about marriage, attended seminars and marriage retreats, and your marriage is not getting better.
Some of them may have worked for you, but some didn’t help at all. The truth is that it will never work, because, as much as you got it from a reputable marriage counselor, it may be bad marriage advice.
You are not alone, so many are in this condition too.
We want a happy marriage, and we work towards that; but sometimes along the line, even while trying to make our relationship work, we became more confused by the bad marriage advice we received along the way.
The truth is that this bad marriage advice can only harm our marriage and make it good.
In this article, I have listed out those smart but Bad marriage advice that will hurt your marriage instead of healing it.
16 Seemingly Smart But A Bad Marriage Advice
1) A happy marriage begins when you find Mr. or Mrs. right:
Quote: A successful marriage isn’t the union of two perfect people. It’s that of two imperfect people who have learned the value of forgiveness and grace.
I think that quote said it all
Of course, you may have read some articles on how to find the perfect man or woman for marriage, that is good; many signs will show you how good someone may be, but it will never show you that perfect person for marriage.
Marriage is the only thing in this life where you are not sure of what you get. It is you that will make your marriage what you want it to be.
I know some couples who had a terrible time at the beginning of their marriage, and now are living happily and some also started well and ended poorly.
However, it may be foolish to marry someone when you know he or she is of questionable character, and I did not also mean you should wait to see the perfect one.
Just go in and believe you will have the best marriage ever, and work on it and bring it to perfection.
An argument can destroy our marriage:
You may have heard that arguing with your spouse is bad. Again, this is another bad marriage advice.
You expected that your marriage will move smoothly with just a few small bumps along the part and then realized you were wrong; because you have witnessed more serious struggles for money, power, sex, children, and even how to share the household responsibilities, all trying to tear your marriage apart.
But here is what you must understand: ) Every marriage is faced with all these same problems, so there are no problems with your marriage.
Many couples decide to keep a distance from themselves instead of finding a way to settle their scores; at last, they find their marriage falling apart because the gulf has become too big that they cannot get back again.
This is what differentiates the happy marriage from the others.
Happy couples sometimes welcome challenges to their marriage, because they believed that quarrels, arguments, and heated conversations can be a possible force that can help them move forward in their marriage.
2) Get married first and every other thing will be fixed:
Many people get into marriage because they believed in their hearts that marriage will help them to make their lives better.
But that is the most useless thing to believe; having that belief will only make you feel bad when what you think didn’t happen the way you want it.
Just tell me how two people with bad or no job at all, poor health, wrong attitude, and bad habit could come together as couples believing there will be harmony in their marriage.
Having in mind that your marriage will fix anything will cause the most damage to you especially when you still see those attitudes there.
Probably you know your spouse to be an addict, a narcissist, or a drunkard, and you think you will work on it; it will not work at all. If he did not change before you said I do, then it will not change again.
Have this quote in your mind “any habit tendency or addiction you have before your wedding day will become worst after you married”.
4) You will be happy when you get married:
If you are the type of person that believes that marriage will make you happy, then you are very wrong. It is only you that can make you happy.
You can indeed find joy, satisfaction, and companionship in marriage, but have it in mind that you will also feel depressed, get annoyed, angry, and also get so confused.
Sometimes you will also wonder if you have made the worst mistakes to get married in the first place.
Many newly married couples became surprised when in their first or second year of marriage they found out that they are so depressed about the way things are going; that is why sometimes you hear them complaining about their spouse to their friends, and you will see in their eyes that they are not enjoying the marriage.