The Most Obvious Signs Of A Failing Marriage.
1) You Are Lonely In Your Marriage:
Loneliness is the commonest problem among couples across the globe, and that’s a big sign of problems in marriage.
According to Rachel A. Sussman, “Loneliness is an indication of major marital woes.” Many people feel marriage will complete them, but that’s a lie.
What does it mean to be lonely in marriage?
This means different things to different people. If you feel unloved, unheard, and disconnected from your partner, that shows you are lonely.
You may be close together and still feel disconnected, there is no physical or mental intimacy between you and your partner. And you don’t relate with each other, but outsiders believe you do.
Few causes of disconnects in marriage.
– Emotional issues:
Having emotional issues in your marriage, such as unresolved conflicts, communication problems or referring expectations can trigger a sense of isolation or distance in your marriage if not properly dealt with.
When you and your partner struggle to connect emotionally, that can lead to feelings of loneliness, because the emotional bond that sustains a marriage has weakened.
Finding time as a couple to address and openly discuss these issues can be a crucial step in rebuilding the broken connection and reducing the feelings of isolation.
You can also see a doctor or a therapist if you notice this in your life, so you can get rid of it from your life before hooking up.
– incompatibility:
This is another thing that can bring loneliness to your relationship. Incompatibility leads to intolerance, resentment, impatience, and unhappiness.
In addition to intolerance, resentment, impatience, and unhappiness, marital incompatibility often fosters communication breakdowns, as divergent values and priorities create persistent misunderstandings.
Trust issues may arise, further deepening the emotional distance between you and your spouse. Differing life goals can lead to conflicting trajectories, causing frustration and a sense of unfulfilled potential.
Emotional disconnection may manifest, with you or your partner feeling unappreciated or neglected. The lack of shared interests or hobbies can contribute to a sense of isolation.
Incompatibility can also amplify stress, as coping mechanisms clash, exacerbating day-to-day challenges.
Ultimately, the cumulative effect of these factors can erode the foundation of your marriage, perpetuating pervasive loneliness, which is a clear sign of a failing marriage.
– Past experiences:
It may come from your past relationships and events and not from your partner. Past experiences often shape our emotional responses.
Reflect on previous relationships, childhood events, or personal traumas that might influence current feelings. Understanding the root cause allows for targeted resolution.
Communicate openly with your partner, expressing how past experiences may affect your emotions.
Seek support, whether through therapy or conversations with trusted friends, to navigate and heal from past wounds. That will foster healthier connections in the present.
– No Together Time:
You are not spending more time together. Couples who spend time together find time to settle their differences and discuss the best ways forward. When it’s neglected, it causes a disconnect, and then loneliness sets in. To learn more about how to spend time together as a spouse, you can read this post.
– Terrorizing and Bullying:
You are constantly afraid to express yourself in your relationship because when you do you will be molested. Your partner abuses and bully you at any chance, so you want to keep your peace to avoid being molested.
How to cure loneliness in marriage:
Solve the underlying issues: Find a time to discuss with your partner and settle all your problems. First, discover what they are and work on dealing with them at once. If you let it linger for long it will cause so many problems in your relationship.
Restore the good times: Think about all that made you happy at the beginning of your relationship and restore them. I mean the romantic dates, the romantic text messages, and the calls. Do not neglect sex and romance.
2) No Honesty:
Some couples withhold vital information from themselves to avoid trouble when the information is late let out, it becomes a disaster.
Marriage is supposed to be a free zone for couples. Remember your promises to be committed to your partner and your marriage when you and your wedding vows.
You can only do so when you are transparent and honest with your partner.
Honesty leads to love and commitment, but dishonesty destroys love and trust and builds a wall between you.
Solutions to dishonesty:
Learn to be open and honest, discuss with your partner, and keep working with each other to build a healthy relationship.
3) You Don’t Fight Anymore:
I know it sounds absurd but sometimes lack of fight is a clear indication that things are not right anymore.
Healthy couples are not afraid to fight because it helps them move forward as partners.
They talk things out in person. Couples who fight often are more likely to live happily after than those who push difficult matters under the carpet to avoid a fight.
Many couples think it is better to avoid talking about important issues to prevent arguments, but that’s a big mistake.
The risk of not speaking up is worse than speaking out because when you speak your mind, you fight and then you settle the matters and move on with your relationship.
Fighting is good
It allows you to express your emotions and feelings and after that, there is also room for resolution. It also shows you are committed to your relationship.
4) You Don’t Have Sex Anymore:
Sex is important in every relationship, and though it is not everything, it is expected that every couple should have sex to keep the bond strong.
Although certain health conditions can stop you from having sex, however, when it becomes a conscious decision then it’s a problem.
So many marriages are sexless and when sex is avoided for a long time it results in a lack of intimacy or romance.
“Intimacy is the only thing that differentiates your marriage from your other relationships.’ Says Megan Fox Fleming’sPh.. and Jane Gree, a relationship expert sayshata ck of physical kissing or hugging is also indicative of real problems.
Try all you can to improve sex in your marriage to avoid trouble.
5) You cheat Emotionally:
When you find yourself thinking, chatting, calling, and spending more time emotionally with someone who’s not your wife, that’s a clear sign of a failing marriage.
You may be having an emotional affair and still not count it as a serious issue, but it’s an affair too.
Technology has made it easy to share your feelings with someone who is not your partner through chat or call and still not feel guilty about that.
You probably think it’s not wrong since your partner doesn’t care to know.
These are clear signs of a failing marriage and if your partner finds out it will lead to serious marriage problems.
6) You Always Think Of The Future Without Your Partner:
You fantasize about spending time alone or with your children without your partner in the picture.
If things are right, all your thoughts about the future will be of you and your partner having a nice time together. That shows that you have detached emotionally from your partner.
” Having a future that doesn’t include your partner is a big sign of falling out of love.” Turndorf.
If you feel the way I described above, you must see a therapist to help you seek things out or call your partner for a heart-to-heart and then fix your issues.
7) You Cheat Physically:
Emotional infidelity is bad, but physical infidelity is worse. Cheating is a big threat to every relationship. If you have plans to cheat on your partner you are kindling fire that will destroy yours.
If you have not cheated but considering it, you better quit unless you want to destroy your marriage.
8) You don’t Share Things In Common:
When you and your partner don’t spend time together, it’s a red flag of a deteriorating relationship. Both of you are under the same roof but you have other things occupying your time than spending it together.
You have no time to communicate and share your daily feelings and thoughts. Those are the things that create a bond in a relationship; when it disappears, your relationship becomes sour and leads to chaos.
To prevent it from harming your marriage, you should put more effort into spending and communicating with your partner. You can also seek a relationship counselor for help.
9) You Argue Over The Same Thing Repeatedly:
When you find yourselves arguing over the same thing every time, when your quarrels become a routine without a solution, it’s a problem.
You should see a marriage counselor for help because when it continues like that, the time will come when you will decide to keep quiet to avoid a quarrel. That’s the worst of the situation.
10) No Plans To Get Help:
Getting help or seeing a marriage therapist is not a crime and doesn’t mean your marriage is failing. It is better you see a therapist and get your problems solved than keep quiet and watch the problems sink into marriage.
A professional can help you get your relationship back on track because they are trained for that. Moreover, when both of you are not ready to seek help, your relationship will eventually be destroyed.
Finally:
Seeing the signs of a failing marriage doesn’t make a marriage fail. Your marriage will fail when you see those signs and neglect them. If you know what the sign is, and try all you could alone or with your better half, you will see changes.
It is also imperative to look for help if need be and finally, get committed to your relationship and be ready to make sacrifices that will be beneficial to your relationship.
Question:
Which of these points would you try first? Be ready to share with us in the comment section.