One of the questions I get from my subscribers is this “I had a quarrel/ fight with my spouse and he has not been talking to me all the while- What should I do?’
If you are among those that asked that question and you’ve been wishing to get your spouse talk to you again or listen to you after you had a little argument, then this post is specially written to help you get him talking again.
Some times in every marriage, there tend to be a time where couples quarrel and even fight each other. Unfortunately that’s inevitable in every relationship.
But that doesn’t mean the marriage has failed, and I don’t think it is peculiar to your marriage either.
It is normal
It is sincerely a normal and healthy thing when couples disagree or argue in so many things.
Remember both of you are two different people, from different families and sometimes different background.
So there is bound to be different opinions also. However, one thing you should know is that the way you act after the whole heated moments is what matters the most in making your marriage survive.
Probably, you realized he/she doesn’t want to talk to you again and you are thinking of how to get him to talk.
I have written some quick win steps that will help you do that.
Here is how!
How to make your husband talk to you again after a little fight
1 Take time to ponder on why the fight happened:- This is a very important thing to do, if your plan is to make peace and calm the situation.
Fights usually come when there is a misunderstanding or when there is an intentional or non intentional mistake.
But, most times people cannot say for sure that this is what brought the fight, and sometimes also the cause of the issue is known, but no one wants to accept the responsibility.
However, the first step in settling the argument is to take responsibility of the cause of the fight; and to do that, you have to ponder over what actually happened to know what your contribution was, that is when you will have the upper hand in settling the disputes.
2 Give your spouse some moments to cool off before talking:- Actually, during the heated moments, anyone can say anything, but once the words or actions has been done, it has to either destroy or save the other person.
After pondering on the reasons why there was a fight, and you found out you have offended your spouse, and now you feel sorry, then going to him/her immediately will be the worst mistake to make.
That will only make him/her to flare up once more.
It is true that you are genuinely sorry of your actions, but the other person needs time too to cool off.
Give him/her that time they needed and then plan well to make your first move.
3 Start with saying sorry, and let it come from your heart:- Saying sorry when you offended your spouse is important, but it is more important when you say it from your heart.
Any time you apologies, to your spouse, he/she is always willing to accept you, especially when he/she believes you are doing that sincerely.
You may think this is easier said than done, or impossible, but that is not the issue. If you truly have taken time and really desire to reconcile with your spouse, what you have to do is to throw away your ago from the whole issues and go to him/her with an open heart.
He must accept it when the emotions and heart reflects in your “demeanor and words.
4 Always lit your face and pass a little smile when you see your spouse coming:- Smile has a way of easing tension even when the situation is severe.
Don’t think am asking you to smile like a lunatic or as if you are posing for a selfie, but just to let you know that you must look natural and humble and never allow negativity overshadow you, just be pleasant with your face lit up and a little smile; you will definitely make your spouse’s heart melt down and feel happy to come to the point of settlement.
5 Offer help without being asked:- There are times when your spouse whom you offended may need help, it maybe your opportunity to initiate a conversation, especially when you are there to give the helping hand he/she needed.
But, here is what you must not do: )
Do not go and create the situation so he/she will resort to your help, you may be caught and dealt with because of that.
Remember, that this is not a Hollywood movie scene.
If the situation didn’t come by itself, then look for other ways to be the help.
So be by his side always, the opportunity may present itself to you.
6 Talk to a professional:- If after the fight you are still finding it hard to see each other eye to eye, it could be that the issues isn’t over in your minds.
In that case, I suggest you to look for a professional (someone who knows how to deal with marital challenges).
Seeing a therapist or a marriage counselor can help you know your feelings and how to work through to achieve your goals.
7 Communicate effectively: – There is no doubt that effective communication isn’t the most important way of settling disputes in a relationship.
But to get on the right track with your spouse, it is imperative to communicate effectively and sincerely about how you feel about the issues and conditions at hand.
You must let your spouse know your stand in the matter.
Over to you:-
I have shared some important points with you now, which I believe will help you achieve your aim which is to get your spouse talking again with you.
The remaining part of the game is left with you to do. So I implore you to try and see how things will change for the better.
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